Only Time
by Helen Pattskyn
Summary: This is the story of Simon Camden and Caroline Diana ChandlerWells. Simon comes from a good Christian family of comfortably moderate means, in Glen Oak, CA. Caroline is the daughter of a wealthy New York City A.D.A., with a very dark secret...
1. part one

**Only Time**

_Who can say  
where the road goes  
where the day flows  
only time  
And who can say  
if your love grows  
as your heart chose  
only time  
Who can say  
why your heart sighs  
as your love flies  
only time  
And who can say  
why your heart cries  
when your love lies  
only time _

Who can say  
when the roads meet  
that love might be  
in your heart  
And who can say  
when the day sleeps  
if the night keeps  
all your heart

Night keeps all your heart

Who can say  
if your love grows  
as your heart chose  
only time  
And who can say  
where the road goes  
where the day flows  
only time

Who knows - only time  
Who knows - only time

_Enya_

This story takes place more or less in the current season of 7th Heaven, beginning in the summer of 2005; for the bulk of the last year, Simon has been floundering. He still hasn'ttruly recovered from the accident that killed another boy – and he definitely hasn't recovered from the roller coaster known as Cecelia. After spending a miserableyear at home with his parents (stubbornly refusing to do anything but get a menial job and continue to wallow), Simon goes to visit Matt and Sarah, who have moved to NYC.

Author's Note: First, thanks for stopping by and having a look at this tangled web I've woven. I hope you enjoy it - I certainly have had a great deal of fun in the writing. This story is not yet complete, but I felt compelled to begin posting. There is quite a bit done and as I edit, I will be posting more.

Only Time is a crossover in the grandest sense, and really belongs to my grander Beauty and the Beast Saga - but in this chapter of the saga, the Camdens take centre stage (ergo the filing under 7th Heaven). I tend to write out of sequence (that is, as an idea hits, I write the story and then fit it into the grander scheme of things.) So before you ask, as of this writing, I have not yet completed the tale of Elliot Burch and Amy Gray. Rest assured, it is on its way...in the mean time, if anyone is interested in what I did with the infamous third season of Beauty and the Beast, you can find that story on my website ). Or, just read on and enjoy Only Time by itself.

Disclaimers: all the usual stuff - I didn't create, nor do I own anything owned/created by someone else. Law & Order and its spin offsbelongs to Dick Wolf, the Crow belongs to James O'Barr, Beauty and the Beast Belongs to Ron Koslow, Alien Nation belongs to Kenneth Johnson, Judging Amy belongs to Amy Brennen and...someone else whose name escapes me...and 7th Heaven belongs to Brenda Hampton. If I've missed something - just assume that if you've seen it on tv, it doesn't belong to me!All other characters are mine. (The Crow character Kate is mine - the concept behind her origin is not.) Hopefully I don't have to tell you that Enya wrote the song which inspired the title ;)

Because my chapters are reletively short, they're clumped together on this site by threes and fours. I hope that this will prove more convenient rather than inconvenient for the reader - but please, let me know! All feedback, even technical, is always welcome.

_This storyis dedidcated to the memory of my grandmother, Helen Garzia Bruand. I would also like to thank the wonderful people of the Beauty and the Beast FanFiction writing group on Yahoo for their assistance and support._

**Chapter One:**

_Strawberry blond curls tied back with blue velvet bow…_

"Earth to Simon," Matt Camden waved his hand in front of his brother's face. Looking in the same direction in which Simon was staring, he saw the cause of the distraction. "Hang it up, she's out of your league."

"How would you know – unless you know her – you know her don't you?" Simon, who had been unable to stop looking at the woman across the café now turned to eye his older brother suspiciously. Nope – there was no lying now, he saw that he was right. "You do! Introduce us."

"No way – you'll just make a fool of yourself."

"Look – I came out here to forget about Cecilia – what better way to do that than to meet that gorgeous girl." Cecilia – what a heartache! First she dumps him, then she wants him back, then she dumps him again; then he dates his ex (while she dates Martin) – only Simon's really just sleeping with the girl he's dating – which of course is one of the biggest taboos in a Christian household. And Simon had to admit, at least to himself, and maybe God too, that it had been a really stupid thing to do. It wasn't just spending more money than he had to go out with her – he hadn't been ready to sleep with her. He didn't love her – he wasn't even sure he knew what it was to be in love. He thought he'd loved Cecilia…but it was hard to tell so much about _what_ he'd felt that year or two of his life…before everything changed so horribly drastically…the last five or six months had just passed by as a grey blur. It was like nothing was ever going to be right again… he didn't want to go to school, he didn't want to date – he knew his parents were seriously worried about him, it was just that he couldn't muster the energy or desire to want to _do_ anything… maybe he should cave in and see a doctor – he just didn't see the point.

The girl looked up from her book, smiling shyly. She was probably 17 or 18, from the look of her. Her eyes and the ribbon in her hair were sapphire blue – her hair cascaded down around her heart shaped face in red-blond curls that fell all the way to the curve of her hips. Her lips were full – and her face lit up when she smiled.

"Oh no," Matt groaned. He'd hoped to get Simon out of the café before she noticed them.

"Matthew Camden," Caroline said as she walked towards them.

From where Simon was sitting, it was like everyone parted for her when she walked - her movements were fluid and graceful – feline. She was shorter than Cecilia – and her figure was all soft curves, only slightly obscured in the soft folds of the blue cashmere sweater and long plaid skirt that she wore or the old bound book she carried in her folded arms. Her voice was all velvet and silk. Simon was only vaguely aware that he was blushing.

"What serendipity. I was going to call on Sarah tomorrow – I just finished this and promised her she could read it when I was done." She handed over the book.

"Thanks," Matt didn't suffer from the same flush of hormones that were plaguing Simon. "I'll make sure she gets it."

Caroline smiled, waiting. Then, "And this is?"

"Simon. My kid brother."

"Nice to meet you," Simon held out his hand, after wiping it off on his jeans first – he felt flushed and nervous.

"My name is Caroline Chandler-Wells," she accepted the offered hand, and returned his handshake gently, well aware that her grasp could crush a man's bones. She was, after all, her father's child.

"You have beautiful hands," Simon blurted out.

Matt groaned.

Caroline laughed – the sound was like tinkling bells that filled the air. "I don't think anyone has ever said that before." The truth was that he hands were as calloused from playing as they were from helping out in the Tunnels. She tried to keep her nails nice – not out of any sense of vanity, but because it was better if she did her best to fit in. There was a part of her that would have liked to never have to leave her world – but she wanted to be a lawyer, like her mother – and she couldn't do that from Below.

Simon flushed a deeper shade of pink. He cleared his throat. "Well – they are. Nice. I mean. It was nice to meet you."

Her eyes twinkled with merriment – although Simon was sure she was laughing at him, she wasn't. "It was very much a pleasure to meet you also, Simon Camden. If you'll excuse me, I think my ride has just pulled up." Fin had been waiting for almost a minute already – he was laughing, she could sense it as clearly as she sensed his presence on the street. It wasn't like a bond – but much like her father, she was highly empathic – it was stronger with certain people – and outside of her family, she was the closest to Odafin Tutuola, her godfather and favourite uncle. She nodded a quick good bye to Matt and Simon and turned to run towards Fin.

Simon watched her dash towards the big black dude who'd been standing in front of the 'stang – it was a vintage Mustang, black and sleek. "Whose that?" he asked Matt – the guy looked – like a body guard or something. The guy was at least six foot tall and wore the sort of smug grimace that kept strangers afraid and at bay.

"Dunno – never saw him before," Matt shrugged.

"Hey there, Pip-Squeak," Fin greeted her with a bear hug, lifting her off the ground easily.

"Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

"Dunno – you ever gonna be taller than me?"

She laughed.

"So who's Romeo over there?"

"Matt Camden – I volunteer at the hospital where his wife is interning."

"I think I'm referring to the other guy."

"Oh. His name is Simon," she tried to hide her blush. Given the way Fin was chuckling, it wasn't working. He was hard to fool.

"Hang it up – he's too old," Fin opened the door for her.

"I know – but he's cute."

"Your father would have a conniption."

Caroline chuckled. "Wouldn't it be worth it, just to watch?"

Fin thought about it for a second – then laughed harder. Yeah, it would at that…

She glanced back at Matt and Simon as they pulled away – something about him pulled her – but Fin was right, he was defiantly too old. Not that either Matt or Simon would realize that – she looked a good three or four years older than she really was, thanks to the same marvelous genes that gave her the strength to crush a man's hand…

"So what's the book?" Simon asked after the 'stang pulled into traffic; he felt sure that she'd given him a second glance, just before it did.

"Huh – oh," Matt looked at it. "Looks like some old book of Irish Faerie Tales – by some lady named Bridget O'Donnell. I think Sarah said something about her coming to town this week – must be why she wanted to read this. She took a poetry class one semester and has been hooked on stuff like this ever since," he shrugged. "I tried to get into it – but I usually let her go off on her own when it's a poetry thing." Truthfully, finding things that they could do separately had been the best thing for their marriage. She liked poetry and plays – and he was really getting into jazz and blues. Richard could relate – Rosina hated it when he pulled out the blues. So it gave him something in common with is father in law – and something not in common with his wife…and everyone was the happier for it.

"Simon, are you _sure_ you want to tag along," Sarah regarded her brother in law quizzically. He'd changed outfits three times – now he was wearing a black pull over and dark pants – at least it was better than the shirt and tie she'd assured him were too stuffy. "Even Matt doesn't like coming with me."

"I like being with you – and I'm glad you found something you enjoy," Matt called from the kitchen. He just didn't care for poetry on a personal level. He walked out, carrying a sandwich on a plate – his supper. "I just can't get into watching a bunch of old hippies recite poetry all night – even if one of them is famous." The truth was that he'd never heard of Bridget O'Donnell – but apparently, a lot of other people had because her being in New York was a big deal. "As far as Simon goes, you said the magic words."

"Oh?" she looked up, as she pulled her coat on. Evenings were getting chillier with the approach of autumn.

"Yeah – Caroline Chandler-Wells."

"I see," she eyeballed Simon suspiciously. "So that's why you keep changing cloths."

He blushed. "That's not it," Simon tried to lie. "I just – don't know what to wear. I've never been to a poetry reading before."

"Then dress comfortably – I went once. It lasted all night."

Sarah threw a pillow at her husband. They both laughed. Then, she turned to Simon, "You look fine – and if you want to actually get a seat, we'd better hurry."

"Are you sure," Simon looked down at the sweater. "I don't look like some kind of goth wannabe or anything?"  
"You look fine," Matt told him. "Besides, she might not even be there."

**Chapter Two:**

Simon took a deep breath – she was there all right, wearing a long dress of emerald velvet and ebony lace; the high collar lace collar reminded him of Edwardian England; so did the cameo at her throat and the way she wore her hair. She turned and smiled in his general direction – Simon felt weak in the knees and short of breath.

"You ok?" Sarah whispered.

"Yeah – fine," he lied. Caroline was there, sitting all regal and beautiful and graceful, surveying the room as if she owned it. If she was a Queen, than next to her sat her King. His majesty wore a black leather jacket, black leather boots, and a black silk shirt. He had shoulder length dark hair and an earring. He had eyeliner with black nail polish. And worst of all, he oozed the same sort of feline grace that she did – _he_ was clearly in her league – something that Simon clearly was not.

"Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Sarah asked.

"Um – sure – why not." He found an empty seat near the door.

"Didn't you notice Caroline?"

"Oh yeah. I see her."

"And you're not going over?"

"Nope. Matt was right. I'll just make a fool out of myself."

"Suit yourself," Sarah shrugged. She passed Caroline on her way to the counter and said hello.

"Hi – I'm glad you could make it," Caroline looked up from her tea. "This is Jake – we're actually going to hear him play tonight," she grinned puckishly.

"Hey – just because I haven't picked this thing up in a couple of years," he tapped the flute case under his chair, "Doesn't mean that I never play."

Caroline laughed. "Tell Simon I said hello, will you?" She asked Sarah.

"You could come over and say hi yourself," Sarah suggested. "I'm sure he'd like that – I have the sneaking suspicion he didn't come here to listen to poetry."

"Oh?" Jake queried, eyeing his sister – then he turned to glare at the boy.

Simon tried to hide – whatever Sarah had said to them, it had to be bad. At least for him – the guy in black looked as if he could chew a guy up and spit them back out again without working up a sweat. Then Caroline smiled at him – and it didn't quite seem to matter.

A young woman clad in black took the stage; she welcomed everyone and introduced a special performance by Caroline and Jacob Chandler-Wells.

Simon blinked. Caroline and Jacob Chandler-Wells. Her brother? He was her brother? And he was carrying – a flute? Boy, talk about not judging a book – the guy still looked like he could chew a guy up and spit them out without working up a sweat, though.

Jake did a quick warm up – without saying a word, Caroline began to play. The piece began quietly – but as soon as her bow hit the strings, the room became silent. He counted out the measures and began – it was an eerie sound, beginning in the lowest octave. William had written the piece just for them – he said it reminded him of the way the mist sometimes rolled through certain places in the Tunnels – the second movement was called the Crystal Cavern. The final movement was called Sunrise over New York. The title of the piece was Above and Below. The music had so enraptured the audience that they were hardly aware of the presence of a third person on the stage – at least until she spoke. Bridget went straight into a piece she'd written about their parents without waiting for any sort of introduction – not that she needed one. Even if no one had seen her picture, her brogue was unmistakable. Softly, Caroline played in the back ground – again, Jake counted out the measure and joined in – William had worked for months on the music to go with this poem. It was one of several of Bridget's poems he'd put to music.

"That either takes guts," Sarah whispered, "Or they know each other."

When she finished speaking, Bridget turned to the children – not so much children any more it would seem – sharing the stage with her. "Now that's what I call playin'."

"Could never have done it without you," Jake kissed her hand.

Bridget laughed – the children quietly resumed their seats and she turned back to the microphone to begin. She read a mix of work – some hers, some written by others – and while the audience sat rapt, she suspected that half of them were just caught up in her accent. Americans, it seemed, were quite taken away with an Irish accent. She only stopped when she knew her throat was going to give – and besides, they'd set up a table and she knew that she would be obliged to sign autographs – and assuming these nice people wanted to close up shop before morning, it might be best to start soon – the time it seemed had slipped past quickly. Blessedly, Jake made it to the head of the line. "How're yer folks?" She inquired – he had brought her a cup of tea instead of a book to sign. "Oh, bless you."

"Mom and Dad are fine – they say they hope you'll come see them before you have to go."

"I'll get away if I can. Give them me love, though, would' ya? And a great big hug to your brothers and sisters?"

"My pleasure," he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

Simon was aware of Caroline moving towards them – she smiled at him, but held her hand out to Sarah, "Would you like to meet Ms. O'Donnell?"

"I take it you know her?"

"She's a friend of my mother and father's. Simon? You coming?"

"No – I – it was great – but I'm just here because Matt had to bail and I didn't want Sarah to come out alone."

"How sweet of you."

"Yes. How sweet," Sarah gave him a look.

"So. You're a friend of Sarah's?" Jake asked the blond, sitting down next to him without an invitation.

"I'm her husband's brother," Simon tried to sound more sure of himself than he felt; Sarah and Caroline were almost to the head of the line. The place had become noisy again, as people chatted and the house speakers didn't quite blare the violin ladenrock/folk music ofthe Corrs.

"I'm Jake."

"Simon," he accepted the other's handshake – Jake's grip was vice-like – nope, he definitely wasn't going to say word one about the guy playing the flute. "I'm visiting for a couple of weeks."

"So you don't live around here?"

"Glen Oak, California."

"Never heard of it. My uncle lives in San Francisco."

"Never been there."

"His wife plays with the symphony – she was one of our early music teachers. Caroline's the one with the real gift, though."

"You both sounded pretty good to me."

"That's only because our brother William wrote the piece for us – he knows what I'm good at and where I suck."

Simon laughed, just a little. Ok, so maybe the guy wasn't here to kick his butt. "I never learned to play anything."

"We all had to take lessons. Caroline's the one who's stuck it out the longest. I only blow the dust off my flute for special occasions."

"Like tonight?"

"Bridget's a friend of our parents' – and she doesn't get over to this side of the Atlantic very often." He leaned in a little. "Don't take this the wrong way, Simon – because you seem pretty ok. But my sister's never really had a boyfriend – just don't be a jerk to her, ok?"

Simon blinked.

Jake shrugged. "I know it ain't like it's going to turn into anything – but I saw the way you were looking at her – and from a strictly brotherly point of view, yeah, I know she's something to look at. All I'm asking is that you aren't a jerk to her. Don't make promises you aren't gonna keep. Remember, I'm a guy too – I know what we can be like to get what we want."

"I guess I'd feel the same way if she was my sister," Simon had to admit. "I've got three sisters – only one younger, though – the other two are married."

"I'm the oldest," Jake said. "But even with just one younger sister you understand. I'm glad." He stood up, "Be seein' ya." He waved good-bye to Caroline.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked him – she and Sarah were almost to them.

"I thought I'd drop in on Kate and hang there for a while."

Caroline continued to glare.

"Look – you can come with me if you want to – hey, Simon, you ever been to a real New York City Goth club?"

Simon glanced up at Caroline – in her long velvet skirt, he had a hard time imagining her in any sort of 'goth club' – he had an even harder time imagining _himself _in any sort of goth club…

"Simon?" Sarah queried – she gave both Jake and Caroline a questioning look.

"You only have to be eighteen to get in," Jake said. "Or know the bouncer," he winked.

"You shouldn't let my brother strong arm you into something you're not into," Caroline said softly. She turned to Jake, "But rest assured Jacob Elliot, _I'm_ coming with you to make sure you stay out of trouble. For a change."

"Who me -?" he tried to look innocent.

"I – I'd love to go – if you guys really don't mind having a third wheel along." Simon stood up – he was aware of Sarah's glower.

Jake laughed, "Trust me, you can't be a third wheel to a pair of siblings."

Simon wasn't quite sure he liked the look in the guy's eye – but if Caroline was going, it had to be all right. Right?

They grabbed their instruments and headed out the door, with him following, a little uncertain of what it was he was about to get himself into…

"Moon's full tonight," Caroline said, idly.

"They call it a hunter's moon," Jake said, to Simon. "Because hunters could see by it's light."

"Jacob," Caroline warned, softly; her voice had become as ice.

He laughed, "I'm just making conversation. Lighten up, little sister."

"Maybe if you were a little less lightened up, you wouldn't have flunked out of school."

"I didn't flunk out – it was merely suggested that I might find public education more suited to my ill temper," he grinned at Simon. "In other words I got into one fight too many and the head master chucked me on my ear. I hated the uniform anyway."

"Yeah – I ah –" _never went to a school where we had to wear a uniform_…Simon felt like an idiot next to these two.

"Where do you go to school?" Caroline inquired of Simon, almost as if she could read his mind.

"I'm – kinda between semesters." They walked the remaining six blocks to the subway in uncomfortable silence with Simon glancing nervously down every darkened alleyway, waiting for a mugger or worse to jump out at them. Nonetheless, they arrived whole and unmolested. "You sure it's safe?" Simon asked as they descended into the inky darkness. Over half the lights seemed to be out.

"The subway isn't as scary as people make it out to be," Caroline assured him gently. "And it's faster than walking there."

"Where is there?" Simon inquired.

"Pretty bad neighbourhood, I'll warn you now," Jake said as they got on the train. "Oh don't worry, she can handle herself," he said to the blond's inquisitive look towards Caroline. "They gotta teach you not to judge books by their covers in California."

"Yeah – well…" Simon shrugged – then he noticed the knife handle sticking out of the inner pocket of Jake's coat…and wondered if he'd made a mistake. There was something about the boy – an arrogance – that was unnerving. Mostly, Simon thought, because he got the feeling that Jake's self-confidence wasn't unwarranted – he wasn't boasting or blowing smoke. He was for real…it was hard to reconcile that with the flautist he'd listened to, less than two hours ago.

"You got subways in Glen Oak?" Jake inquired.

"Just buses," Simon felt more and more unsure with each passing moment. Then he gazed down at the azure-eyed beauty…

**Chapter Three:**

Forty minutes later they got off the subway – Jake hadn't been kidding about the neighbourhood. Burnt out buildings lined the streets – homeless people meandered by – a hooker gave them a quick second glance then went about her business, and on the few intact walls, gang graffiti was scrawled in brilliant colours. He glanced at Caroline – she didn't seem uncomfortable. He took a deep breath – ok, if a girl was ok here, he could be ok here too. Several blocks later, he lost some of his courage when they turned down an alley way – this had to be bad…except that at the end of it there was a single door way. In front of the door stood a girl. She looked like a kid, even if she was wearing a leather mini-skirt, fishnets and Doc Martin boots. A leather jacket parted to reveal milk white flesh and a black leather bustier that laced up the front – her long dark hair hung around her shoulders, and her face, though pale, was accented in dark hues of grey and maroon. But when she looked up, she smiled and her grin was genuine. "Jacob Wells – you here to cause me trouble again?"

"Nah, not tonight."

"Hey girl," she favoured Caroline with an even warmer smile. They embraced. "Who's Mr. Sunshine?"

Simon blinked, unsure of her meaning.

"Simon Camden," Jake introduced before either Simon or Caroline could speak. "He's from California."

"I don't suppose you're actually over 18?" the dark girl asked him.

"Ahh – yeah."

She waved aside his attempt to show id and took the instrument cases from Jake and Caroline. "Ok. Behave yourselves." She opened the door. A wave of solemn techno music hit them full on – Jake led the way down a flight of black iron steps; half way down a sign welcomed them to 'the bowels of Hell.'

"It's just a play on words," Caroline assured him. "The place is owned by a guy whose real name is Dante Milton – we think his parents must have had a wicked sense of humor."

Simon swallowed – he felt like he was entering the script of a really bad horror movie. Down below him, he became aware of writhing bodies – leather and lace, silk and velvet – shades of black and scarlet – they danced to music that Simon had never heard before. "You like this stuff?" He had to holler now to be heard over it.

"Sometimes," Caroline answered. The darkness was only occasionally punctuated by bright flashes of light from the dance floor – fog swirled four feet off the ground, cranked out by dozens of fog machines. People mingled – the air smelled of spilled beer, well-oiled leather, sweat, sex, and cigarette smoke.

She slipped his arm into his – and he realized that she was protecting him, not the other way around. "Can I buy you a drink?" She asked.

"Um – sure. Whatever you're having." He felt rather than saw her slip away from him – the lighting was so dark in here it was almost impossible to see anything. _Oh God – ok, just let me get out of this in one piece and I swear, I'm mend my ways! _Suddenly she was back. He took a sip of the bottle she handed him. Raspberry?

"I hope you like it," she hollered. "They were out of grape."

"What is it?"

"Seltzer. You didn't think I was getting you anything alcoholic, did you?"

"No – of course not," he lied.

"Do you dance?"

"Um – I'm not sure how – I mean to this."

"Follow my lead," Caroline led him towards the mass of squirming bodies. Somewhere out there Jake was already 'getting a groove on' – he was having entirely too much fun, abandoning her and Simon like this. As if she'd really abandon the poor boy in a place like this. The darkness didn't bother her – and the people certainly didn't frighten her. Most of them were actually harmless – the few that weren't quickly learned not to cross Kate's fury. No one messed up here, not unless they wanted the bouncer to bounce them through a wall. She found a spot that was almost clear and put one hand on Simon's hips. "Follow me," she said as she began swaying. "Keep your hands on your drink."

"Oh. Right."

"No, not that. Well – sure it happens," she explained. "But you don't want it cleared away until you're done either."

He nodded. He watched her dance, though he barely swayed himself – no one seemed to care. All eyes were on her anyway – no one seemed shocked by her outfit – well, not like they'd have any cause to talk. No few of the other patrons were dressed out of other centuries too, in top hats and long coats – half of them looked like extras from a vampire flick. The other half looked as if they belonged in a video for some guy like Marilyn Manson or something. Dad would have had his head if he saw this – Mom would be sure he'd been smoking – as it was, he knew he'd have a lot of explaining to do when he got back to Matt's apartment… Caroline had finished her drink and set it down. With nimble fingers she pulled the pins from her hair and began to truly dance – her hips swayed back and forth – it was like some combination of belly dancing and – and Simon didn't know what. He was mesmerized by her.

A hand on Simon's shoulder brought him from his trance. It was Jake. "Remember, that's my little sister you're ogling."

Simon nodded – still, this time it didn't escape him that Jake was smiling.

Simon had no idea of the time when they finally left – just he and Caroline. Jake, she assured him, had already gone home.

"Won't your parents worry, you coming in so late?"

"Yes. But Jake will tell them I was here."

"They're ok with you being in a place like this?"

She nodded. How could she explain to him that they knew Kate wouldn't ever let anything bad happen to her? That Kate wasn't at all what she appeared to be and had known them since Jake was a baby? Caroline saw the big black bird flying overhead, following them back to the subway. Father would lecture her about taking advantage of the situation – how they shouldn't depend on Kate, they should stay out of trouble on their own. Mom would look a little worried – then be quietly glad that they know enough not to go into places where they really could get hurt. "You hungry?" She asked as they got on the subway train.

"A little – why?"

"Well, if you're not in a hurry, we could go get a bite to eat. My treat."

"Ok."

"So – I know you're from California – and I know you're staying with your brother for a little while – and you've definitely never been to a goth club. What else is there?"

"Well – I'm kind of sorting through some stuff right now. A couple years ago I – I killed a kid. It was an accident," he said quickly. "I was driving – he was on his bike. He was stoned. It still hurts."

"You blame yourself."

"I keep thinking that if I hadn't been driving – if I'd been paying attention – if – I don't know." He shrugged, unsure why he was opening up to a total stranger… he didn't like to talk about it – not with the family, not with anyone.

"And you're angry at him."

"If he'd been wearing a helmet – or if he hadn't been stoned – we went to the same high school. I knew his brother. His parents still haven't really recovered."

"There is nothing so painful as loosing a child."

He looked at her – she couldn't be speaking from experience – or could she.

Caroline shook her head, once again, as if reading his mind. "My Aunt Diana – she and Uncle Fin didn't really plan on getting pregnant – but things happen. She lost the baby at six months."

"That had to be really rough."

"It was. That was a few years ago – but noting is as painful as loosing a child. That's what Mary says."

"Mary?"

"Sorry – a friend."

"I have a sister named Mary."

"It's a beautiful name."

"So's Caroline."

She smiled, "It was my grandmother's name."

"Has she been gone long – you said 'was'."

Caroline nodded, "She died when my mother was a little girl."

"So you never knew her."

"No – or my mother's father. He died a few years before I was born."

"My mother's mom died when I was a kid – her father died just a few years ago too."

"Life and Death are a never ending cycle – but sometimes it seems like death is so unfair." She thought of Kate – life after death could be even more unfair. "I – can't begin to imagine how you must feel, having taken a life, even accidentally." She knew how her father felt – she saw the haunted look in his eyes. She knew how Fin felt when he had to kill someone in the line of duty. "My Uncle Fin's had to shoot a few people – he's the guy who you saw the other day."

"Shoot people?"

"He's a police officer, silly," she said to his bug-eyed look.

"I guess – he doesn't look much like a cop. My sister's married to a cop – and we've got a good family friend who's a police officer. They're both – a little more clean cut."

"Fin used to do undercover for Narcotics. Now he's with a special unit."

"He – doesn't look much like you."

She laughed, "He's not related by blood – Grand Father says that family is more than the group of people you're born into. Your real family is the one you choose."

"Sometimes I wish I could choose a new family."

"Your brother seems nice – so does Sarah."

"They are – and don't get me wrong, I love my family. They're just a little crazy sometimes."

She laughed, "I am the second oldest of six. Crazy I understand."

"I'm in the middle of seven. Matt, Mary, Lucy, me, Ruthie and the twins. Sometimes – growing up I envied my friends who didn't have such big families."

"And I'm sure they envied you for having such a large one."

"Yeah. Everyone wants to be a Camden." He laughed, "Sorry – inside joke. Over the years we've had more people living with us – this kid Mary used to date moved in – then a guy from down the street whose dad was overseas and his aunt was moving here – then Kevin came to live with us because he wanted to marry Lucy – he finally asked and she finally said yes. Like I said, it's always pretty crazy at the Camden house."

"I think it sounds perfectly wonderful," Caroline smiled. Of course, her extended family lived around her – everyone tapped out messages on the pipes for everyone else to hear. There were no secrets, it seemed – and almost no privacy. "I still share a room with my two sisters."

"I only got my own room a few years ago – now I have the apartment over the garage that my mother made for Kevin."

"She must really have liked him to go through all that before he'd even proposed to your sister."

"She did – we all do. Now they live down the street from us."

"Most of my family is pretty close by, too – it's only my father's brother who lives in San Frisco."

"You hate it, don't you - having him so far away."

She nodded.

"Matt lives here and Mary lives in Buffalo with her husband, Carlos – I miss them."

"I hope I never move that far away from my sisters or brothers." Caroline stood up, "This is our stop coming up. The diner should be just about opening up."

"Where are we?"

"Manhattan."

Simon looked out at the lightening sky. "Your parents aren't going to skin you alive, aren't they?"

"Oh, probably." She led the way to the diner, just a few blocks from the subway station. "And after breakfast, I really do have to get home. Think you can getback to your brother'sfrom here?"

"Sure – but what about you?"

"I don't live far from here," she smiled; the diner was just across the street from the park.

"I mean about getting home so late – should I walk you?"

"I'll be fine."

"I know my dad would have my hide if I stayed up all night like this – as it is, I'm sure I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do, to my brother."

"My father will lecture me – and probably ground me. I don't usually do stuff like this – unlike Jake, I'm the responsible one. I'm not sure if he'll go easier or harder on me because of it."

"With my dad that would be a fifty-fifty toss up, too." They sat down and ordered breakfast. Afterwards, Caroline saw him safely into a cab, and then headed into the park…


	2. part two

**Chapter Four:**

"Simon? Do you know what time it is?" Matt asked when Simon came in the door. It was almost 9:30.

"Clock's right there," he replied.

Matt glowered. "You reek of cigarette smoke."

"We went dancing."

"Sarah mentioned something about that – a 'goth club'?"

"It wasn't what you think."

"Oh – and just what do I think? What do I think about places like that, where the freaks hang out? Do you realize the kinds of things that happen in places like that? Kids who think they're vampires and do drugs – or worse."

"Worse?"

"I work in a hospital emergency room – I see the kinds of things these kids do to each other – they're freaks, Simon."

"For your information, Caroline is no freak!"

"What about the rest of them?"

"Ok, maybe some of the people there were a little weird – but everything is fine, I'm back, and in one piece – and I didn't smoke or drink or have sex – and I sure didn't do drugs or run into any 'vampires' – or 'worse'. So you just get off my case, ok?"

"Simon – Mom and Dad trust me to keep an eye on you."

"I'm 20 years old – I don't need a baby sitter."

"Maybe you do."

"Look – if you don't mind, I'm just going to get some sleep, ok?"

"Yeah. You look like – something the cat dragged in." Matt only just barely refrained from swearing. "Get a shower first – you stink."

Vincent just glared. Finally, at great length, he sighed. "Even with Jacob telling us that you were all right, your mother and I were worried about you. You do realize that, don't you?"

Caroline nodded. "I didn't mean to worry you."

"We know that you would never intentionally do something to upset us – but – this is beyond excuse, Caroline. We have always trusted you – and you have never abused or betrayed that trust."

"We're both disappointed in your behavior," Catherine told her daughter – although secretly, she was happy. Jake had told her all about the boy – a nice boy, according to Jake, who had a good sense for these things. She wished her daughter hadn't stayed up all night – but there were worse reasons. "I hope you don't ever plan to do anything like this again – and I assume you realize that you're going to be punished."

"I know. And I know you're going to ground me. But since I've never done anything like this before, can you please commute the punishment for a couple of weeks. Just a couple. I'll take double grounding in exchange for a stay of a couple of weeks."

"Oh?" Catherine asked.

"There's a boy – he's who I was with. Jake had to have mentioned him."

"He did." Vincent intoned. He was not amused. He knew that Catherine did not share his displeasure at her being up all night with a boy. Well, perhaps if it had been a boy that they both knew, a boy whose parents they knew – not the child of some stranger. A child from California.

"I – he's only going to be in New York for a couple weeks."

"And you wish to see him again?" Vincent queried.

"Yes. Please."

"Perhaps you should have thought of that before you stayed out all night," he gave Catherine a sidelong glance – he didn't need their bond to know how she felt about the matter.

"I didn't really think I'd want to see him again until we'd all ready been out most of the night."

Were Vincent human, he might have turned red faced with anger – but he was not, though he was certainly angry. "You will be back home before nine o'clock at night – and once this boy has returned home, you will be grounded for four weeks."

"Thank you!" she flew into his arms.

Bemused, all Vincent could do was to hug his daughter.

"You don't completely disapprove of this boy," Vincent said at length, long after their daughter had retreated to the sanctuary of her room…such as it was, shared with her two sisters.

"How could I? You saw the lightness of her step when she came through the door."

"She should not have been out all night. She should not spend so much time at that club."

"Probably not – but we both know she only went to keep Jake from getting into another fight – and he only goes because of Kate."

Vincent growled, deep in his throat.

"There's little to be done for his infatuation with her. It will pass," Catherine told him.

"It has to."

"He knows what she is – and she knows how he feels right now. In time, it will pass."

"And so you are happy that Caroline his become enamoured of a human child."

"I am happy that she has found someone who makes her smile. She's fifteen – that's high time to have a boyfriend."

"Even given all of the circumstances."

"Those are for someday, not for a first crush. I trust our daughter – and I know that you do to."

Vincent sighed, "Catherine – how is it that we turn into our parents?"

She laughed, "That I don't know."

"Well thank you anyway."

"For what?"

"For not pointing out how much like Father I sounded just then."

She wrapped her arms around him, "I don't necessarily think it's bad thing for you to sound like Father. Even if it is something no child wants to hear."

Vincent chuckled, holding her tightly, "How I love, Catherine." He kissed the top of her head. "You make my life complete."

"Do you ever wonder if our children will find love so strong?"

"They are our children – I do not think that they could settle for anything less. They would not know how. Does that worry you?"

"A little. But I guess part of being a parent is learning to let go."

"Catherine – no matter how strongly they love, they will always be a part of us – and we a part of them."

"Even Devin came home," she smiled up at him.

"South of Shangra La and North of Timbuck Two – but home is a hole in the ground."

She chuckled, "I wonder if that's what it will be for them – half way around the world and then back again. I guess as long as they always come back I will be grateful."

"I find myself hoping they will never venture quite so far before realizing where home really is," he admitted.

"Me too."

"So?" Simon appeared at the hospital, with flowers.

"Everything is fine – Anne, can I have a minute?" she asked her supervisor, an older lady – and a Helper.

"Honey – take all the time you like." Word had spread like wild fire about Caroline staying out all night – and why. Most who knew Vincent's eldest daughter well were happy she'd found a boy who apparently made her happy. She was fifteen – and such a beautiful young woman, mature beyond her years in more than just her body – yet so far she had shown no interest at all in love. And that was just odd, considering who her parents were.

Caroline blushed under Anne's scrutiny – she knew all about how quickly word had spread about her little all night excursion. She drew Simon out of the main hall and into one of the quieter waiting rooms. "They're beautiful," she said of the flowers, a mixed bouquet of white and red roses, just like her mother's rose bush, the one that Diana still had in her apartment.

"I just figured – I owed you something. I thought your folks would skin you alive for sure."

She laughed, "My Father was pretty upset."

"Grounded or worse?"

"Grounded – but commuted until you go back to California."

"You even sound like a lawyer."

"Look – there's something I need to ask you."

"Anything."

"How old do you think I am?"

Simon frowned. Ok, so he knew she was under 18 – or at least he'd guessed it by what that door girl, Kate, had said. "Maybe 17? Why – is this some sort of pop quiz?"

"Simon – I know you're going back to California in a couple of weeks – but I'd like to see more of you before you go."

"That's kind of what I'd had in mind. So what's up?" He could tell by her expression that something was wrong.

"In December, I'll be 16. I'll understand if you'd rather not hang out with a child."

Simon blinked. Fifteen. Fifteen and the way she danced last night. The way she played the violin. The way she expressed herself. The way she danced…Ruthie was fifteen this year… he suddenly looked at Caroline in a whole new light. She was somebody's little sister. She was only just a little older than _his_ little sister. "How did you get into a bar?"

"You think Kate doesn't know how old I am? I've known her all my life."

"Well no – I mean – how old is she, anyway, she's the one who looks like a kid."

Caroline smiled, "Looks can be deceiving. I've always looked a little older than I really am. To be honest, it's always made life a little difficult – no one really wants to be friends with the earliest bloomer in the class."

Simon blushed – but yeah, he could see a bunch of girls being jealous of the first one to 'bloom.' "I'm 20, you know that, right?" He said. "It won't be that long before I'm 21."

"I know you were over 18 – I guessed 19 or 20."

"I don't suppose you mentioned that to your parents –?"

"I – didn't quite get to that part. I know my father is a few years older than my mother – but they were older when they met. A few years doesn't seem to matter when you're in you're twenties."

"No – look, it doesn't bug me that you're only 15. It might take a little getting used to – and I know my brother will freak if he finds out – does Sarah know?"

Caroline shook her head, "It's never came up. She knows where I go to school, but she probably thinks I'm a senior this year. It probably doesn't help that I'm already talking about what college I want to go to – but I never meant to deceive her or anyone. I never talked about college to make her think I'm older – I'm honestly starting to think about it – and I'm thinking about testing out of my last year of high school anyway, just to get away from all those people."

"Why?"

"They're horrible – that's not true. Most of them _act_ really horrible, most of the time. I try to tell myself that they can't help it – I'm just ready to stop playing silly popularity games – games I loose anyway – and get on with the rest of my life."

He smiled, "If I'd been half as together as you are when I was fifteen, I probably wouldn't have such a mess of the last couple of years."

"Well then perhaps I shall have to continue being a good influence. But right now, I have to get back to work," she added, flushing a deep shade of pink. "My shift ends in an hour."

"Can I buy you lunch or something?"

"That would be lovely."

He watched her walk away. Lovely. That would be lovely. He never would have guessed that she was fifteen… and fortunately, neither would Matt.

"Well what can you tell me about this girl?" Annie Camden asked her eldest son, over the phone.

"Not much – Sarah says she's been a volunteer at the hospital for about three months – and that she goes to some expensive prep school."

"Prep school?"

"You know, the kind with the gold crest and plaid skirts – the ones that cost probably more in tuition than Dad makes in a year."

"Oh my – and this girl – is going out with your brother?" It had always been Annie Camden's experience that, while judging someone based on income was wrong, those with the largest incomes didn't usually associate all that closely with those who didn't have equally large bank accounts. "Could she be there on some sort of scholarship do you think?"

Matt shook his head, "I don't think so. Sarah doesn't think so either – "

Sarah pulled the phone from her husband. "I know it's wrong to make assumptions – and she seems like a really nice girl. But she's way out of Simon's league – I love you guys – my Dad is right, you're the gentile family we never had."

"Aww," Annie smiled. She had been so happy when the reconciled; Matt and Sarah were perfect for each other.

"It's just that – Caroline is the kind of girl who should be dating a Kennedy or Rockefeller. She's nice – but – I just think she's all wrong for Simon."

"Do you know anything about her parents?"

"She doesn't talk about them much – her mother's an attorney and her father does something from home."

Matt took the phone back, "The day Simon met her, it looked like she was being picked up by some kind of body guard – Sarah says the same guy's picked her up a couple of times from the hospital."

"Body guard?!"

"A big guy – real big. Tough looking – driving an old, souped up black mustang."

"Oh. My."

"Hey sweetheart," Eric walked in, "Who's on the phone?"

"Matt – Simon's met a girl."

"In New York?"

She nodded. "A girl with a lot of money and a big, mean looking guy for a body guard."

Eric blinked, confused – there was, it seemed, never a dull moment. "I'm sure he'll be fine," Eric said, as much to quell his own unease as anything else. "He's coming home in a couple of weeks – he is still coming home in a couple of weeks -?"

"He's still coming home, isn't he?" Annie asked Matt.

"Well he's not moving in here."

"Ok. Just make sure he gets on the plane all right – and give us a call after you drop him off. Or if something else happens."

"You have my email," Simon asked her for the third time.

"Yes – just remember, I'm going to be pretty grounded for the next month. I'll be able to check my email from school – but probably won't be able to write much for a while."

"Just as long as you write something," He kissed her forehead. That was as far as he'd gotten – Dad would be proud. Not even first base – and they'd been seeing one another steadily for a little over two weeks. In that time, he'd experienced things he never would have considered doing. A Saturday afternoon symphony, in the park – a teahouse, where he discovered she spoke perfect German – an amazing afternoon with she and Bridget O'Donnell – from whom he'd learned a handful of Gaelic swear words and a ton of Irish history.

Caroline had taken him to the museum and shown him all her favourite paintings – her mother had been taking her there since she was a little girl. They visited her Aunt Jenny's gallery – and took a carriage ride in Central Park. Then she took him to China Town where he discovered that in addition to German, she also spoke two Chinese dialects. That night they went to a Loreena McKennit concert with Jake and Bridget – the next night, they watched the sun set from the balcony of her mother's apartment balcony, eating pizza topped with chicken, feta cheese and olives, her self-professed favourite food.

Caroline took him to the top of the Empire State building and to the Statue of Liberty and to endless used bookstores – a passion Caroline said must be genetic because both of her parents loved books. Although he didn't know if her parents knew how old he was, Simon had been introduced to her mother – at her mom's work, so he got to meet several other people including "Uncle" Joe Maxwell – who gave him a pretty fair third degree about his intentions – until Mrs. Wells called him off (for which Simon was grateful). She seemed to like him – that made Simon happy, although he didn't quite know why – but she had a smile a lot like his mom's. And Mrs. Wells was easy to be around – they'd had a quick lunch then she had to get back to work – but he was glad he got to meet Caroline's mother, even if he never got to meet her father. After that they went to the planetarium – and had a picnic in the park where he got to meet her sister Claudia who was nice – but a little flakey – and her Aunt Diana – who looked like the last woman he'd expect paired with her Uncle Fin. He'd pictured Fin with someone more like Cleopatra Jones.

"Have a good flight," Caroline held him for a long moment, relishing the warmth of his body and the sweet musky scent of his skin.

Simon spent half the flight staring at her picture.

**Chapter Five:**

"What are you reading?" Annie Camden asked her son – who was so engrossed in his book that he hadn't heard her come up to him in the airport lobby. She noticed the picture he was using as a bookmark – a school photo of a prim looking young woman in a crisp white blouse, red vest with some sort of gold crest on it, and a red tie to match. The red didn't quite agree with her strawberry blond hair, which was done into a loose braid hanging over one shoulder, tied with a blue velvet bow.

"_Tale of Two Cities_."

"Dickens. _Voluntarily? _Who are you and what have you done with the real Simon Camden?"

Simon laughed, "Very funny. A friend gave it to me. It's really pretty good – I wish I'd given Dickens more of a chance when I was in high school." He had _The Once and Future King_, the _Book of Merlin_ and _Oliver Twist_ in his bags.

"Would this be a certain young lady your brother mentioned but you never told me about in any of your phone calls or emails?"

Simon blushed a little, "Yeah, that would be the one," he handed his mother the picture. "Her name's Caroline Diana Chandler-Wells and she's the most amazing person I've met. Except maybe for you."

"Caroline Diana Chandler-Wells – that's quite a name."

"Caroline was her grandmother's name – Diana is her god mother. Chandler-Wells is just her mom's married name."

"Matt tells us you spent a great deal of time with your Caroline Diana Chandler-Wells," Annie sat down next to him. "Is this something we should talk about?"

"We're not committing to anything serious. She's still in high school," he admitted. "And she's probably going to go to college in New York anyway – and thinks that you guys are right about me sticking close to home for a couple of semesters. We're going to keep in touch and just see what happens." He shrugged, "Besides, with a whole country between us, you and Dad can stop worrying about me and pre-marital sex."

Annie blushed – then, more defensively, "You know your father and I are just worried about you – we don't want you to make the same mistakes that so many other young people do. We care about you."

"I know, Mom," he kissed her forehead. "And I love you too. Very much."

"You miss him, don't you?" Catherine put her arm around her daughter's shoulder – she'd found Caroline by the reflecting pool, gazing at the reflection of a half moon in its dark surface.

"More than I ever dreamed I could miss someone. I know I'm only barely a woman – a young woman," she added to her mother's wry smile, "But do you think that this could be the one?"

"Well – I think that time will tell better than I ever could."

"Do you think it's possible?"

"Oh Caroline, _anything_ is possible to the heart that has enough courage to dream. And you're right, you are becoming a woman."

"My body became a woman a long time ago," she said sourly.

Catherine pulled her close, "Maybe so – but the point I'm making is that as you become more adult, you'll experience more adult feelings – a more grown up kind of love. You'll want to do things."

"Mother – not only did I get this in school, but we had this talk two years ago."

Catherine laughed, "I know. But two years ago I didn't find you here, day dreaming about some boy."

"Believe me – I understand the things I have to think about that other girls don't.

I wouldn't care if I had a child that took after Father's side."

"I'm sure you wouldn't – but that, more than just having a child, would change your life forever. You have such dreams and plans – I wouldn't want you to find yourself in a position where you were forced to alter those plans."

Caroline ran her fingers through the cool water, making the image of the moon dance, "Simon is back in California – who knows, I may never even see him again."

"Perhaps not – but if not, there will be some other young man some day. Eventually you will want to do things – I only hope that you will do them responsibly."

Caroline smiled at her mother – any of her so-called friends from school (she didn't like any of them) would have had something snide to say. She knew the story of her parents – of Jake's conception in particular. Mom was the last person to lecture about sex – or perhaps, Caroline reflected, she was the first. She knew first hand about how a child can alter everything. "You didn't let having us change your life."

"Oh Caroline – you children changed my life immeasurably!"

"You know what I mean."

"I do. I was lucky, I had your father – someone as committed to you – and as in love with you all – as I am. Someone who could stay home and take care of you while I continued my life Above – someone who didn't mind sharing me with another world."

"And someone who already lived Below, who knew all our secrets – Simon's from California. He has no idea what lies beneath that city – the wonders of this place." She smiled, "He's a minister's son – I'm not sure he would even understand."

"He is at that. But I wouldn't sell him so short – if he truly loves you, he will understand when the time comes."

"And that's so far away – it's silly of me to even think that he could be – you know."

"Yes," Catherine smiled, "I do know. Come on – it's getting late. You should be in bed."

"So – what's the scoop?" Lucy asked – for the hundredth time.

"There is no scoop. Her name is Caroline and we spent some time together. End of story."

"Hello, this is your big sister you're talking to – you've been totally different since you came home."

"She's right you know," Kevin threw in. "There must be something about this girl."

"Maybe there is," Simon admitted – he didn't want to get into it – he was afraid someone would find out how young she was – or worse, he'd talk about her, goof up and mention how he felt about her – get everyone worked up and then have her write to him next week to say she'd met the boy of her dreams and it wasn't him. "I just don't want to talk about it, that's all. She's special – she's not like anyone I've ever met and I don't want to screw this up."

"Simon, if she really feels the same way about you, you're not going to screw it up," Kevin told him. "Trust me."

"According to Matt, you spent nearly every waking moment together," Lucy said.

"That's an exaggeration," Simon said.

"I don't know," Ruthie came down the back stair.

"Well I was there, I do know," Simon replied.

"What do you see in her?" Ruthie asked. She'd seen the picture, they all had.

Simon smiled, "I see – the moon reflecting on her skin – I hear a violin playing – I see the way she moves and I hear the sound of her voice as she laughs – I see the sun setting over New York – and I see the look in her eyes when she looks at me. I think I see the future."

The three of them exchanged glances – Simon could act pretty weird when it came to girls…but _this_ was a bit much…

"What do you think?" Annie asked her husband, as she came to bed that night.

"About?" He looked up from his book.

"Simon and this girl from New York."

"I saw her picture – she's pretty."

"She's a D."

"What?"

"The way she's built– she's huge!"

"Annie!" Eric looked at her.

"Well it's true. You saw her picture – she's more than a little well endowed."

"I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"I don't see how you can be so – _lackadaisical_ about it."

"She lives in New York City. I don't think we have that much to worry about."

"What if Simon decides to go out there, to be with her? And what if after he does, it blows up in his face? What will we do if he ends up with his heart broken again?"

"We'll just have to take it one 'what if' at a time – sweetheart, he's 20 – he's going to make his own mistakes whether we try to stop him or not. I think the others have all proven that to us."

"But it all worked out, in the end. Mary and Carlos are really good together – and Sarah and Matt – and Kevin – he's such a wonderful man. And I hate to say it, but if Ruthie grew up and married Peter – I couldn't be happier. As long as it's ten years from now and they're both out of college with good jobs."

Eric laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You are – but in a good way. I'm sure that everything will work out."

"I'd just like to meet this girl."

"Annie – we don't even know if it's going to go anywhere. Why don't we see what happens between – now and Christmas," he threw out a random date. "If they're still writing – and smitten – then we'll worry."

"All right."

**Chapter Six:**

"You were at the mall?" Annie asked Simon when he came in the backdoor. He was carrying quite a few bags. It was the day after Thanksgiving – and Simon had been out bright and early, before anyone else was even up.

"Christmas shopping."

"Oh?"

"And I'm not going to tell you what I got you and Dad," He grinned.

Annie smiled – Simon had come home from New York and gotten a job, straight away, waiting tables at an Italian restaurant. It wasn't glamorous – and sometimes he seemed to pull a lot of hours – but he was happier than Annie had seen him in a very, very long time. He'd enrolled in community college – and had already picked out his classes for the winter semester (English Literature, Early European History, and German II). His grades this semester had been two A's and a B – World Literature, German I, and Calculus. It was his highest math grade ever. "Did you get something for Matt and Sarah?"

"Yes. And I'm not showing you that, either," Simon grinned back at his mother. He'd also started growing his hair longer – which she wasn't real happy about, but his boss said it was ok, as long as he wore it back. "And I picked up something for her parents, too – even though they don't celebrate Christmas, they keep calling us their favourite Gentile relatives so I figured I'd do something nice and Gentile for them."

"That was very sweet of you. Did – did you get something for Caroline?"

Simon smiled – he knew that's what she really wanted to know. Mom asked about her about once a week. Since he only talked to her on his cell phone – which he'd gotten mostly for her calls – she didn't know how often they spoke – and since most of their correspondence was via email, she didn't know that they wrote every day. "Yes. Would you like to see?" The only snail mail he'd gotten from her had been a birthday present – his parents hated it. No, Mom hated it. The small, perfect, rainbow infused crystal hung around his neck every day – he only took it off to sleep. It was set in crystal – a friend of hers had set it for him. She'd taken digital pictures of the cave where she got it – it was utterly breath taking. It was the place some of her brother William's composition had been inspired by.

"You mean you'd show me?" Annie asked.

"Yes – and you too, Ruthie," he called. She'd been on the steps the entire time.

"Cool!"

"Ruthie Camden!" Mom scolded – the truth was she'd set Ruthie on a mission to find out what Simon had gotten – but she had to make it look good.

From the depths of his shopping booty, Simon pulled a bag. From a jewelry store. He set it on the counter so they could stare at it while he put the larger bag down. It was clear from the outline that there were two boxes in the bag. "Her birthday is December fifteenth – her mother almost ended up waddling down the aisle."

"What?" Ruthie asked.

"Mr. and Mrs. Wells got married on Christmas – they'd expected Caroline to come along a little sooner than she did."

"She wasn't – already married?" Annie blanched.

He shrugged.

"I thought she was the second oldest," Ruthie asked.

"She is."

"So they had_ two_ children and_ then_ decided to get married?" Ruthie persisted.

"Guess so," Simon just smiled. He knew the story. He took the two black boxes from the jewelry store bag; one was long and narrow, the other was a little box. He knew full well that he was being a shit. "So for Christmas," he opened the long narrow box to reveal a gold charm bracelet. There were two gold violins, a treble clef, a couple of sixteenth notes and a small gold filigree heart.

"Wow," Annie said.

"She plays the violin – she's really good, too. I had this made special."

Ruthie gave him the 'stink-eye'. Simon ignored it and opened the other box. A pair of sapphire and diamond earrings. Grand total of two karats of diamonds and six karats of sapphires, set into gold.

"Oh, Simon – those are beautiful," Annie told him.

He smiled, "I hope she likes them – I emailed her mom to find out what stones she liked – sapphire is her favourite."

"So – her parents – know about you two – the whole long distance thing – and they're ok with it?"

"I guess so. I really like Cathy."

"Cathy?" Annie asked – "Isn't that a little familiar?"

"She asked me to stop calling her Mrs. Chandler-Wells – that it was too much of a mouth full. Only a couple of people call her Catherine," he shrugged.

"So you're emailing her, too?"

Simon smiled; Claudia dropped him an email from time to time – Jake sent a few one liners – mostly stuff like 'glad you're not a jerk' – Simon got the sense that it was in good humour. "I like her mom, she's a great lady." He closed up the boxes, "Well – if you two ladies will excuse me – I have some wrapping to do –" as if on cue, his cell phone rang. "Excuse me," he said politely to his mother and sister, as he pulled it out of his jacket pocket, "Hello? Hey there – we were just talking about you," Simon couldn't hide the smile at the sound of her voice. He grabbed up his shopping bag and started out the back door, towards his apartment over the garage.

"Do you have any idea how much he just spent?" Ruthie asked her mother in a soft voice, after Simon had gone.

"I can take a good guess."

"He never bought anything so extravagant for Cecelia," Ruthie told Lucy. "You should have seen those earrings."

"He was a lot younger when he was seeing Cecelia," Kevin made the attempt to be rational.

"Not that much younger," Lucy said.

"He also has a better job," Kevin kept trying to be rational. The Camden sisters glared at him, "Ok, I'll take my sandwich into the other room," there was no winning, it was obvious.

**Chapter Seven:  
**

"Kevin, there isn't_ any_ way you can check on someone who lives in New York, is there?" Lucy asked him later that night.

"Ah – no. And I wouldn't anyway."

"But this is my baby brother – I'm really worried about him."

"Why? Because he met some girl in another state – which is pretty much what you did."

"It's not the same. He hasn't been the same since he came home. Come on, please – I really am worried about him, Kevin."

Kevin sighed. "Let me see what I can do…"

"Going back?" Annie gawked at her son.

"For New Year's Eve?" Eric queried.

"What about your job?" Annie wanted to know.

"We're not open on New Year's Eve or Day anyway," Simon explained, patiently. "And I talked to my boss about taking a few days off before and after."

"And he was all right with this?" Eric asked.

Simon smiled, "Angelo's from Sicily; when he was about my age, he fell in love with a girl from the very most northern part of Italy."

"So what happened?" Annie was clearly full of trepidation.

"They have six children and seventeen grandchildren."

"So I take it he doesn't mind," said Eric.

"When do you leave?"

"And have you called Matt?"

Simon blinked at his father for a second – then smiled, "I'm not staying with Matt and Sarah."

"So where are you staying?" Annie inquired.

"Cathy said I could use her apartment – she doesn't live in it any more, she just keeps it for emergencies."

"Where exactly in the city?" Eric wanted to know.

"Manhattan – I've been there, it's got an amazing view of the skyline."

"And Caroline is staying where?" Eric asked his son.

Simon just gave him the look, "With her parents. At their place. And I'll be leaving on the twenty sixth."

"The day after Christmas?" Annie asked.

"And coming home when?"

"The second."

"That's a long trip, Simon," Eric said.

"Seven days," he shrugged.

"Simon," Annie tried to smile, "I'm not sure this is a good idea – you barely know this girl."

"Mom, we've been writing practically every day since I got home – I talk to her once a week on the phone – and I email her mother every couple of weeks as well."

"You're in that close contact with her mother?" Annie gave her husband a worried look.

"And,"Simon went on, "Her Uncle Devin is driving up from San Francisco with his family so we can take a plane out together."

"What – why?"

"He dropped me an email saying he'd like the chance to get to know me a little better, if I didn't mind."

"Why – would he want to get to know you better?" Eric queried.

"Maybe because I'm dating his niece and he's her father's older brother," Simon was beginning to wonder at this line of questioning. They were being weirder than usual. "I thought you guys were all about getting to know people – especially the families of people you kids are dating."

"We are – it's just that we haven't met her yet," Annie said.

"There isn't much I can do about that – look, I gotta go – I have an appointment to get fitted for a tux."

"A – "

"Tux?" Eric finished his wife's sentence.

"It's a black tie thing. Elliot Burch is this big society guy – this is a big charity event in New York." And not for the first time, Simon was happy he'd kept in touch with Catherine Chandler-Wells. She had confided that her daughter was wearing a dark blue Edwardian-era dinner gown (she really had a thing for vintage clothing – and a good friend who was a seamstress). Then she'd confided that most men wear the same tux they've had for the last fifteen years, so anything less than a decade old will look sharp – and although it says black tie on the invitation, there is something 'quite extraordinarily handsome' about a white or off white tie and vest… after doing a quick web search on Edwardian men's attire (Cathy was right about men's fashion – with the notable exception of the seventies, little had changed over the years), Simon had an idea of what he wanted to go for. So with his parents gaping after him, Simon headed out the door.

"Well? You said you found something out?" Lucy asked Kevin as soon as he got home.

"I did," Kevin sat down, tired. It had been one of those days. "I'm not sure you're gonna like it, though."

"I was right, she's no good."

"I don't know about that. She comes from money – and her mother is a pillar of the community."

"What? She had two children before she got married – how could she possibly be a pillar of any community?"

"Luce – Catherine Chandler was abducted and held hostage by – this crime boss guy called Gabriel, for six months. She gave birth to Caroline's older brother while she was being held – and she was left for dead while he took off with her baby."

"Oh my God."

"The details are a little fuzzy – she went into hiding while authorities tracked him down and rescued her son. After a couple of months, she went back to work with the District Attorney's office – and shortly after that it looks like she was pregnant again, with Caroline. Just after Caroline was born, she married the father of her children – someone _not_ on the social scene or society pages."

"Someone – abducted her – and stole her baby? After leaving her for dead?" Lucy could not imagine the horror that that must have been. "What happened to him?"

Kevin shrugged, "He's in some institution – being caught must have pushed the guy over the edge. Not that any sane person behaves like this guy seems to have, anyway."

"I can't – I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like," Lucy gazed down at the little girl sleeping in the bassinette just a few feet away. "If anything ever happened to her – I'd be so lost."

"Me too," Kevin wrapped his arms around his wife's waist. "So yeah – Catherine Chandler had two children out of wedlock – but given the circumstances, it looks like everyone was willing to cut her a little slack over it."

"I guess she deserves it. But – who was this guy – why her?"

Kevin shrugged, "She was working the case against this guy when she got taken – looks like she might have gotten too close – and her boss was crooked. New York isn't Glen Oak, you know."

"And then she went back to the D.A.'s office?"

"Yes."

"So maybe that guy Matt saw really was a body guard."

"Body guard?"

"Matt said some big tough looking guy picks Caroline up from the hospital some days."

"Look – I don't know about that – all I know is that Catherine Chandler-Wells is one of the good guys, so chances are her daughter is too."

"So, what is it?" Ruthie asked.

Simon just sighed – she'd been on him since the package had come in the mail, not five minutes ago. He finished unwrapping it, and opened the box, saving the card and letter for later; the envelope just said "Happy Christmas, Simon Camden!" "Wool socks – that has to be from Cathy," he smiled. It seemed like the sort of thing a mother would give. "And a scarf."

"Her _parents_ sent you stuff for Christmas?"

"Her mother took up knitting when she was pregnant with Caroline – she says it's become a household tradition – Mom gives everyone socks or scarves for Christmas because she never learned any more complicated stitches."

_"Mom?"_

"I'm just quoting someone," he was mildly annoyed by this point. He was happy to be getting out of the house in two days. Just two more days – he glanced up at her photo – she'd sent him a new one at the start of the year.

"So – what is it?" Ruthie asked, drawing him back to the here and now. "A _book_? A big – old – book? That's your Christmas present – after you went and got her jewelry?"

"Oh – my." Simon looked at it.

"It isn't even in English!"

"I told her I was taking German – this is a first edition Rilke – a German poet. He was the reason she learned to speak the language." Simon opened the seventy year old, leather bound, gold gilt book with care. The handwritten message was in German – he was grateful. He wouldn't have wanted Ruthie reading what she wrote…

_Simon _

_Happy Christmas – and wishes for a joyous new year – one that I hope you will find filled the wonder of new possibilities, new dreams and new hopes... for with love, all things are possible, even the ones that seem impossible – even the impossible things can become real in the heart that has the courage to dare to love and the audacity to dream._

_always, Caroline_

Dare to love. Always, Caroline. He smiled.

"What does it say?" Ruthie asked.

"Nothing – just the usual wishes for a happy holiday and good new year."

Ruthie, of course, did not believe him.

**Chapter Eight:**

Annie looked over the small spread she'd set out – bagels, cream cheese, strawberries, jam and crescents. There was fresh coffee brewing and juice on the table. "I wonder if I should put it in a pitcher or something."

"Honey – they're not supposed to be staying for breakfast." Eric told her.

"I know – but Simon said they were arriving around nine – and their plane doesn't leave until twelve thirty – that's more than enough time to stop and have a bagel. I want to meet these people, Eric – not just have them swoop in and whisk my son away."

"Morning," Lucy came in through the back; in addition to the baby, she had a large box. "I hope this is the right stuff."

"What is it?" Eric took the big box – from a bakery, he noted – from his daughter.

"Scones," Annie told him. "And I have real butter."

Eric just looked at her.

"That you're not allowed to have," Annie added.

He shook his head; Ruthie came down the back stair. "What's the occasion?"

"Can't we have a little day-after-Christmas continental breakfast?" Annie asked. "Find a plate to set these out on."

Eric continued shaking his head – the doorbell rang. He hoped that no one would mind his answering the door in his robe and pajamas – because at least until there was an emergency, this was his day off.

On the other side of his door stood two humans – the man was right around his age, with long slightly greying dark hair and brown eyes. The woman was dark skinned, with long curly black hair – behind them stood three Tenctonese adults and three Tenctonesechildren – and one of the adult men was clearly, very pregnant. Wow. He hadn't quite been expecting this…Eric opened the door. "Good morning – Devin and Roberta Wells?"

Devin smiled, "Reverend Camden – nice to meet you," he extended his hand.

"Likewise," Eric accepted his friendly grasp – and then ushered the group into the living room, "Ruthie!" he called.

"Yeah – oh – hi."

"Give me a hand with coats, please," he said. "This is my youngest, Ruthie. Ah – and my wife, Annie," he said as she came in from the kitchen. "And Lucy – and Emily. Simon should be here – he has the apartment over the garage." Eric could feel his wife's shock from across the room – she of course had planned for human guests…although the fruit and juice were fine – so were the bagels and scones. It just didn't seem as fancy without the cream cheese and real butter…

"Just like a man," Roberta Wellssmiled easily. "And please, everyone calls me Robbie. This is Jonathon and Lyla Hancock – and their children, Audrey, Tessa and Marie – and pod," she smiled, "And Sam Hill."

"So – you're all flying to New York?" Eric asked, as he shook hands all around. The girls looked around eight, twelve and sixteen. And one on the way – that scene was strangely familiar…he smiled. The twins came bounding down the stairs.

"Mommy said we were getting company."

"But not Tenctonese company."

"Your mother didn't know," Eric said quickly. "Our boys, Sam and David." He flushed slightly – there were a few Tenctonese families in the neighbourhood – but honestly they didn't have as much interaction with each other as he might have liked. There had been a great deal of friction between the Tenctonese and the extreme Christian Right when the aliensfirstcrash landed in theMojave desert– the wounds were slow in healing. And no few of his neighbours had been less than welcoming when the 'Newcomers' first moved in – as always, Reverend Eric Camden wondered if there wasn't some way to turn a family of Tenctonese in his living room into some way of helping those old wounds to mend somehow…

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Simon came in.

"So this is Simon," Devin grinned.

"Can I have one cup of coffee before I get the third degree?"

Devin laughed, "Yeah, I heard Joe worked you over pretty good."

Annie recovered herself by then, "I have coffee on, if anyone's interested – and some fresh juice and bagels in the kitchen."

"Coffee, bless you," Devin sighed. "Yes, please, my lady – lead the way!"

Eric smiled – Simon laughed. Robbie just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"So – Audrey, Tessa – and Marie?" Simon said to the girls.

"Exactly right," Tessa assured him. "And you're the guy Caroline can't stop talking about."

Simon flushed. They giggled. It was going to be a long flight…

Lucy pulled her brother aside, as the others headed into the kitchen. "Why didn't you warn Mom?"

"About what?"

She gave him the look. "You knew she was going to set out breakfast."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"Luce, she never said anything to me about setting out breakfast. They were supposed to pick me up and then we were headed out."

"You knew she wanted to impress these people."

"Why?"

"Do you know anything about this guy who's party you're going to?"

"Sure – I guess. I didn't meet him – but Caroline's told me about him. What's the big deal?"

"Mom and I looked him up on line, that's what the big deal is – did you know this guy is worth like four billion dollars?"

"So?"

"So?" Lucy had to struggle to keep her voice down, "Do you know how intimidating that can be."

"No. Do you mind if I go get some coffee now?"

"You have some family," Devin said, loading Simon's bags into the back of their car; Sam was driving with the Hancocks in their mini-van.

"You have no idea," he groaned.

"They seem nice," Robbie added – she hung the boy's tux carefully next to her husband's in the back. "Even your sister."

Simon laughed, "She's crazy."

"I have one like that named Josephine," she told him.

Simon turned and waved to his parents again, before climbing into the backseat of the Wells' car. All in all, breakfast hadn't gone too badly; when Lucy asked Robbie about children, Robbie had been dignified and poised – and Lucy had gushed. Robbie couldn't have children, and Devin said that was ok, because she had him and he was really just a big kid. Dad laughed – Lucy looked mortified. Jonathon said that he was more than happy to make up for her inability by having a large family for her. Dad smiled, Lucy continued to look mortified… it was, over all, a typical first meeting of the families…


	3. part three

**Chapter Nine:**

Devin handed Simon his key to Cathy's apartment; Robbie asked, "Now you're sure you'll be ok?" The cabby was loading his things into the trunk. The Wells had their own cab, as did the Hancocks and Sam, who were on their way to a hotel.

"I'm sure. Thanks again."

"Ok – well see you soon," Devin shook the boy's hand. He was a little old – but then, Caroline was old for her years. And the boy seemed slightly young for his – Robbie would say that that was the case with all men. "So?" he asked her, as they settled into the back of their cab.

"I like him. His family is a little – strange."

Devin laughed, "And you think that poor kid has any idea what he's getting himself into with us?"

"I know I sure didn't. Think he'll be able to handle it?"

"Time'll tell."

"Caroline?"

She smiled; she'd been waiting for him in the lobby of the apartment building. "Welcome back."

"You are more beautiful than I remember," Simon held her close for a long, wonderful moment. "I wasn't expecting to see you." He kissed the top of her head.

"Mother asked me to come by and make sure you got in ok – she sent over a fruit basket and some other odds and ends," tucking her arm into his, Caroline walked him to the elevator. "How was the flight?"

"Long – but I had good company."

"Not too overwhelming?"

"Try living with my family some time."

Her laughter filled the air…

"I wish you never had to leave," Simon whispered, holding her to him. Time had flown by and the hour was late – he knew she needed to go. But he could sit up talking with her all night long. Just being in the same room made him happy – it was like the rest of the world faded away – nothing else really mattered. Cecilia had been the love of his life – he'd been so sure for so long that they'd grow up and get married – and maybe he'd been the one to screw that up – and maybe he just hadn't known what love really was. Until he met Caroline.

"I wish I could stay, too – but I'll see you tomorrow. We'll meet you at the café around nine."

"You sure you're ok to get home?"

"I'll be fine," she leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Now get some sleep – and don't forget to give your parents a call."

"I already talked to them once – I called from the cab to let them know I was fine."

"And you probably only talked for three minutes. Use the phone here – my mother said to tell you that," she added. "She said you should call and actually _talk_ to your parents, not just check in."

Simon kissed the top of her head, "All right – be safe, ok?"

"I'll be fine." Caroline turned towards the elevator – she turned and waved one last time, as the door slid shut – and hit the button for the basement. It wasn't a long walk to the park entrance – but it was a _cold_ walk. Taking the basement would add some time to her walk home – but it would be out of the wind.

She wasn't the least bit surprised to find her father waiting for her. "How long have you been waiting here?"

"Not long. I knew you would be late."

"Have I told you how much I love you, Father?"

Vincent smiled, "Yes – but I still love to hear the words."

Caroline wrapped her arms around him. "I love you, Father."

He chuckled softly, "Come – your mother is waiting up for us."

"Simon? Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine, Mom – I just wanted to call and say good night before I went to bed."

"Is – Caroline there?" She asked, carefully.

He laughed, "She just left to go home."

"Have you called your brother?"

"I left a message on his machine right after I called you earlier – he's going to meet us for breakfast tomorrow."

"Simon – you know I love you, don't you?"

"I love you too, Mom."

"Well?" Eric asked his wife when she hung up the phone.

"He's fine. He sounds happy. I'm worried."

"I'm sure everything will be fine."

"You keep saying that – and I keep getting this nagging feeling that everything is not going to be at all fine."

Unable to sleep, Simon bundled himself and went outside – the winter wind was bitter cold – it seemed colder in New York than in California, even northern California. Without any real plan, he put one foot in front of the other and began to walk, uncertain as to why. He knew he was giddy – he stopped before a jewelry store window and couldn't help but notice the diamond rings – even though it was silly to think about things like that.

"Awful cold night."

Simon jumped – then he recognized Kate, Jake's friend from the goth club. She was wearing a leather jacket, black jeans and boots – she wasn't shivering. "Yeah – it is. Can I buy you a cup of coffee or something?"

"How about we just walk."

"Ah – sure." Simon realized that she was already taking the lead. "So – you've known Caroline a long time?"

"Her whole life."

"Do you have family – ?" the ice of her glare stopped him.

"My brother was killed by the same guy who almost killed Catherine," She said after a long, dark moment.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

"You're not sorry your brother was murdered?"

"You don't know the story, Simon. No, I'm not sorry he's dead – although I used to be. I wished I'd killed him myself."

"He hurt you," Simon ventured.

"You could say that. He was supposed to be there – supposed to protect me. Instead, he ran away. He left me to die."

"I –"

She smiled then, "That's ancient history."

"But you still hurt."

"I'll always carry his betrayal around inside of me."

"Look – maybe it's time to let it go. That kind of pain will only tear you up inside."

"Believe me, you're not telling me something I don't know."

"Did Caroline tell you about the kid I killed."

"Yeah. She didn't really have to though – I have a talent for see other people's pain. I don't always know the cause – but I can always see it – feel it – almost as if it was my own. You don't have so much pain, tonight, Simon."

"It's hard to remember what it feels like to hurt, when I know she's close by."

Kate smiled, a sad, secret smile – love. The one emotion denied to her. She felt loyalty – the warmth of friendship and the joy of trust – but she would never have the kind of love Vincent and Catherine shared – or the kind of love she could see in Simon Camden right now. But it was still good to be reminded that it existed. "I'm glad I ran into you tonight."

"Me too – where were you headed, anyway?"

"No where – Dante's is closed for the holiday – boss actually has a family and decided to spend some time with them. Just don't tell anyone – he has to maintain the façade."

Simon laughed, "So this Dante is just a regular guy?"

"As regular as you are."

"What about you?"

"I'm anything but regular." They'd arrived back at Catherine's apartment building. "This, I believe is your stop."

"Do you want to come up – it really is awfully cold."

"Nah - you have a good heart Simon – I have places to go and more friends than I ever dreamed it was possible for me to have." She reached up and cupped his face in her hand.

Her fingers were so cold, their touch almost burned his skin – Simon felt something – a tingling – a lightening. He looked into the depths of her dark eyes – it was like looking into an abyss – the depth of her pain – and her fury – consumed him for a moment. And then she was gone. Simone wondered how long he'd been standing there, dazed.

From the shadows,Kate watched him; she had only touched his pain, though she'd intended to take some of it. But, she realized, his pain was a part of who he was – and there was so very much more love and hope than pain. Kate smiled, slipping off into the night.

**Chapter Ten:**

"It's a shame your wife couldn't join us, Matt," Catherine smiled easily when Simon's brother joined them.

"We're working opposite shifts right now – I got off an our ago and she went in just as I was leaving."

"That must make things difficult."

"Believe me, it makes them easier. Our rotations change so often that it won't last for more than a couple of weeks." He'd never met any of Caroline's siblings – at least he assumed that the four other children sitting with them were also Catherine Chandler-Wells' children. The girl had the same facial structure as Caroline, but had straight, shoulder length honey coloured hair. She was decidedly less well developed than Caroline. Her simple pink blouse and jeans (which only amplified her lithe figure) were a stark contrast to Caroline's well-filled Gibson-girl blouse and full skirt.

Although the sisters were night and day, the two boys seemed to have been carved from the same piece of stone; the elder (Matt already knew of Jake) had dark hair and bright blue eyes. The younger had honey coloured hair – and those same blue eyes. They all shared the same high cheekbones and fine sculpting in the face – the two boys wore dark turtleneck sweaters, black jeans and nearly identical leather jackets. They were of the same football player/wrestler build – and neither looked especially happy to be out and about. "I thought there were two more hiding somewhere," Matt asked with a smile. The blond immediately soured.

"William wasn't feeling well," Catherine lied easily, "And Jayne is still recovering from the same bug. Their father agreed to stay home with them.

"I hope it's nothing serious," Matt said.

"Nothing a little chicken soup and some rest won't cure, I don't think," Catherine continued to smile.

Simon watched – he'd asked the same question, when he arrived a few minutes ago – and gotten the same answer – and the same reaction from Charles.

Catherine went on to make the introductions – Jacob and Charles – who preferred, they pointed out, to be called Jake and Charlie – and Claudia.

"We don't meet many people with families as big as ours," the younger girl said. The waitress returned with their teas and coffees – Claudia and Caroline were drinking tea, the rest were having coffee.

Matt asked for a cup of coffee also, when the waitress inquired. Then he turned back to Claudia, "Yeah – I know what you mean. So – you guys have a good Christmas?" he asked, searching for some topic of small talk.

Claudia smiled and nodded – Caroline thanked him for asking – Jake and Charlie seemed determined to remain broody.

"And Simon tells us that you converted to Judaism when you married," Catherine gave her boys a brief – and very motherly – dour glare.

"We were going to try to get home to visit our parents for the holidays – they both live in Glen Oak – but it didn't work out. Still, it was nice to spend Hanukkah together – the truth is that I'm still 'learning the ropes' about being Jewish."

"So why'd you convert?" Charlie queried.

"It just seemed to make more sense – this way later on we wouldn't have to worry or argue about how we were going to raise our children. Are we expecting others?" He asked, noting that there were still a goodly number of empty seats.

As if on cue, Devin, Robbie, Jonathon, Lyla, their girls, and Sam came in – followed shortly thereafter by Elliot, Amy and Loren.

"The extended family," Simon said to his brother – he introduced those he knew and let Caroline introduce Elliot, Amy and Loren.

Elliot Burch wasn't quite what Matt had expected – Sarah loved to read the gossip pages. There were always rumors flying around about him – and none of them good – and he was also at the top of the list of New York's most eligible bachelors. Seeing the way he held Amy's hand – the look on his face as he pulled out her chair and kissed the top of her head – he didn't look all that eligible to Matt.

"How was Tuscany?" Catherine directed her question to Elliot and Amy.

"Oh my god, Cathy, it was so beautiful – I hated to come back to all this!" Amy said – outside, the snow had begun to really come down hard. It was greyed and turned to slush almost the instant it hit the streets.

"Tell me about it," Devin followed her gaze. "We left San Francisco for _this_."

"Oh please – you're the man who climbed the Swiss Alps," Robbie hit his arm, playfully.

Catherine laughed, and said to Amy, "I knew you'd love it there."

"Thank you, again," Elliot leaned in and kissed Catherine's cheek.

"For what?" Catherine's grin was mischievous.

"For everything," Amy gave her a big hug.

"You climbed the Swiss Alps?" Sam inquired of Devin.

"In my misspent youth," he grinned back. He looked over to Simon and Matt, "I spent the better part of my youth looking for adventure – only to realize that what I really wanted was home – the love of a family," he took his wife's hand, and gazed fondly at Jonathon and his family, "And good friends."

"It is ironic," Jonathon said, "We spent our entire lives hoping for just what you were searching for – it is good to have found it together."

"And that means you too," Lyla added, in Sam's direction.

"It is – nothing."

"Sam is the binaum for all of our children," she explained to Matt. "And despite what our culture has taught us, that makes bin very much a part of our family."

"We're just starting to cover some of that – I'm a med student," Matt said.

"So Simon has told us," said Jonathon. "You cover Tenctonese medicine?"

"It's mostly elective study – except for future gynecologists," Matt told him.

Fin and Diana arrived.

"Sorry we're late," Diana pulled off her hat to reveal her mop of orange curls. "Traffic was jammed from here to Timbuck Two – and someone _had_ to drive instead of taking the train." She glared at the tall, dark someone standing right behind her – her grin however, did a great deal to cushion the tone of her voice. "I'm Diana Bennett," she said to Matt.

"Nice to meet you."

"Odafin Tutuola – I see your wife sometimes, when I pick the Squirt up." Fin extended his hand to Matt.

Caroline turned bright red, much to Fin's amusement. He turned to Simon, "You treatin' her right?" his voice was gruff – but his grin was clearly friendly.

"Doing my best. How've you been?"

"Can't complain – even if I did, it wouldn't do no good." He turned towards Catherine and kissed her cheek, then turned to Devin and company, particularly Jonathon, "You look like you're gonna pop any minute – sure you should be traveling?"

"Which is _exactly_ what I keep telling him," Lyla smiled.

"The pod and I are both fine," Jonathon assured them both.

(The children seemed mostly bored with the adult conversation and had engaged in banter of their own – it seemed to Matt that everyone knew one another pretty well. Simon was right to call this group an extended family.)

A family came in – Dad had on a police uniform – Mom (a pretty woman in her mid thirties, with long nut-brown hair worn in a pair of pigtails – very hippy'esque) was carrying a baby carrier – a twelve year old girl with long curly blond hair walked between them. A fourteen year old, dark haired, boy in a leather jacket brought up the rear. He was greeted by Jake with a high-five and a hug – slightly odd behavior, Simon thought. Claudia introduced Simon to the girl, Piper, as her very best friend. As she made the introductions, she signed as well as spoke. Simon signed :Hello, pleased to meet you.:

Caroline smiled, "I hadn't know youcould sign."

"Only a little."

Catherine stood up, signing as she spoke, "Laura – Jerry – glad you could make it. You remember Jonathon, Lyla, Sam and their children?"

Laura nodded – Jonathon (who was in full 'nesting instinct' swing) took the baby from her and began cooing at it, much to his wife's amusement.

Fin stood also, "Officer," he said to Jerry.

(For half a second Matt expected some sort of altercation – Fin, the alleged body guard, had a rough demeanor. It was hard to tell exactly what he was thinking at any given moment.)

Jerry grinned, "Detective." The clasped hands.

"When you gonna take the test and get a gold shield of your own?"

"Never." Laura spoke – anyone listening would realize that she was deaf. "Hours are long enough as it is. Don't know how you do it, Diana."

She laughed, "I'm home less than he is. Ok, my turn – hand over that baby," she said to Jonathon.

"This is Laura and Jerry," Catherine introduced them to Matt and Simon, "And Shannon." She added, of the child.

"Our surprise child," Laura spoke.

"Nice to meet you," Matt signed as well as spoke.

:You know sign?: Laura asked him.

He nodded, :Not very well.:

Catherine smiled, :You do quite well:

"Next we'll teach you Tenctonese," Jonathon teased him. "Then you really will be all set to be a part of this family."

Matt gave his brother a look; Simon shrugged. Caroline blushed.

AfterShannon was securely in her lap, Diana looked at Elliot and Amy, "So – how was the honeymoon?"

"Wonderful," Elliot smiled.

"You guys just got married?" Matt asked – hoping it was polite.

"Shh, it's still a secret," Elliot smiled merrily, taking the young man's hand.

"It was more about escaping my family than the hordes of disappointed women in New York City," Amy added.

"Hope you guys don't mind me playing hookie and joining you," Joe Maxwell strolled into the restaurant – he pulled a chair up from an empty table after exchanging a warm greeting with Catherine – and everyone else. "Hey you two – when'd you get back?"

"Late last night," Elliot leaned in gave Joe a welcoming hug.

"Well, looks like the gang's all here," their waitress returned. "Coffee – tea - ?" she looked a little confused at the Tenctonese family – there still weren't many New Comers so far East.

"Tea would be wonderful," Lyla smiled easily at the woman.

Matt leaned over to his brother, "This is some group."

"Tell me about it."

"They make our clan look almost – boring."

Simon laughed.

After breakfast, Caroline, Charlie, Jake, Simon, Loren, Tessa, and Audrey went to a movie; Matt, having nothing else to do and wanting to satisfy more of his curiosity, asked if he could tag along. The others were happy to have him.

After the movie, they all went ice-skating in the park.

"I've never done this," Simon cautioned.

Jake grinned at him, "The only thing you can really hurt is your pride."

"Thanks." Simon watched the younger man skate away with grace and poise – it seemed that Caroline's siblings were all naturals on skates. So was Loren, who mentioned something about having played ice hockey. (Simon saw Matt – not on skates – laughing at him and gave him a look – which only made Matt laugh harder.) At least the Hancock clan was a little wobbly, which helped Simon not to feel so much like a day old calf.

Caroline guided him out onto the ice. "It's not that hard," she said gently.

"Maybe for you."

She laughed – it was a kind laugh, filled with love and mirth. "Come on – I won't let you fall."

"I don't think you could hold me up if I did."

"I could."

From the sidelines, Matt had to admit that there did seem to be a chemistry between them – and despite Caroline's brother's sour faces earlier, they were genuinely helping the younger children with them.

"Doing the big brother thing?" Loren skated up to where Matt was standing.

"Is it that obvious?"

She laughed, "You have the same look on your face my Uncle Peter did, when Mom brought Elliot home for the first time."

"Your Uncle Peter is older than your mother?"

She nodded. "Her younger brother wasn't much better. I think I was the only one who liked him. Most of her other boyfriends were real dorks."

Matt laughed.

"I had a truly amazing day," Simon told Caroline – she had walked him to the apartment building. After skating, the two of them had slipped off for a quiet lunch at a little bistro – then they went window shopping for absolutely nothing at all, for the rest of the afternoon.

"Me too. I'm so glad you could be here."

Simon smiled down at her – there was a part of him that wanted more than anything to kiss her – yet there was another part which savoured the innocence of the relationship. He didn't want to change that – so he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

After showering and changing cloths, Simon navigated the subway system to Matt'splace for dinner.

"I have to admit," Matt said – Sarah wasn't home yet, so he was cooking. "I had some reservations at first – but she seems like a nice girl."

"She's – everything."

"Everything?"

"I don't know how else to describe how I feel. When I'm with her, I'm happy – I'm filled with peace – I know I loved Cecilia – I had feelings for Georgia that were really strong – but with Caroline there's something more. Something – quieter."

"Sorry I'm late," Sarah came in the door, covered in snow. "It just won't stop coming down out there!"

Matt helped her with her coat, "Hey Simon, I think I know exactly how you feel," he kissed his wife's cheek.

"I take it you two had a good date."

Simon laughed, "More like two dozen dates."

"It was like having breakfast with half of New York," Matt told her.

"Well I'm glad you only brought one of them home to dinner," she gave Simon a welcoming hug.

"Speaking of home," said Matt, "I was thinking that after the holidays, maybe we could try to get home to see our folks."

"I would love nothing better – I just don't think it's going to happen. And don't tell me you think you can get time off any more than I can right now."

"After Easter?" He asked.

"What's that?" Sarah grinned.

"Passover," He smiled back.

"Let me see what I can do on my end. I really would like to see my parents again – you Gentiles don't have anything on a Jewish mother for guilt trips! You're not even Catholic – now _they_ can compete."

Matt and Simon both laughed.

"So tell me honestly," Matt said later – they'd gone out to shoot a little pool after dinner, not too far from Matt and Sarah's apartment. "How serious is this?"

"Honestly," Simon lined up his shot – and made it. "I don't know. I mean – I know how I feel about her – and I'm pretty sure she feels the same way."

"You haven't asked – or told her how you feel?"

Simon just shook his head – he lined up his next shot – and missed.

Matt powdered the end of his cue stick.

"She's a lot younger I am."

Matt missed his shot. "How much younger?"

"If I tell you, you'll feel like you have to tell Mom and Dad – and I don't want to put you in that position."

"Simon – how much younger is she?"

"She's old enough to go out on a date – and she knows how old I am."

"Do her parents know?"

"She hasn't told them – but I'm sure her mom must realize."

"Look – I won't tell Mom and Dad – but you have to."

"I want them to meet her first – I mean – come on, she's so together. She knows what she wants to do with her life – and what she needs to do to get there. She's got the grades – and the background – she has her pick of any Ivy League school. I'm in love with her – but I don't want to get in the way of her becoming a lawyer."

"If she loves you, she'll find a way to have you and her career."

"I know. And she's smart enough not to throw her future away over a guy – I just don't ever want her to feel like she has to choose."

"You're thinking about Lucy and Mary, aren't you?"

"I just don't get it – Lucy found a way to do it all – even if she's making us all crazy in the process. It just feels like Mary is – lost somehow."

"She'll find her way. So what about you – figured out what you're going to do when you grow up?"

"Very funny," he missed his shot.

Matt sunk the last ball into the hole and re-reacked the table. "I'm serous – I know you're back in school – and doing pretty good according to Mom – I wouldn't know, you never email me."

"I didn't think you had time."

"I have time to check email – once a week."

Simon grinned, "Ok, I'll drop you a line sometime. And honestly, I've been thinking about teaching."

"You? A teacher?"

"Why not?"

"I guess – I just never pictured it."

"I never pictured a lot of things that life has thrown at me," Simon told him, his tone becoming more solemn.

"No, I guess not."

"There's only other – thing. With Caroline."

"Oh?"

"Well – probably more than one, but there's one that I think is going to be a problem with Mom and Dad."

"Besides her obviously being a lot younger than she looks."

"Yeah, besides that." Simon watched Matt lining up his shot – he waited until his brother made it before speaking again. "She's not Christian. Or Jewish. Or – anything."

"She's an atheist?"

"No. I guess she's agnostic. She seems to believe in something, but doesn't want to give that something a name, like God – and she's never been to church. Any church."

"You're right, that's going to be a problem. You know Dad is going to try to 'bring her over' – especially if he finds out that she believes in something, but doesn't know how to identify with God."

"The scary part is that she makes sense – I'm not – I don't know, we both know I haven't exactly led the best example of a Christian life. And no, we are_ not_ having sex." Simon added. "We discussed it – briefly."

"What exactly did you discuss?"

"I told her about Georgia – and how stupid I was. She said she understood and wouldn't hold it against me."

"So she's never slept with anyone?"

"No."

"You're sure? I mean – she seems nice, and I think I like her, but sometimes girls lie about stuff like that."

"Believe me, I'm sure. She's honest and trustworthy – a virgin – she has all the Christian morals – she just isn't a Christian."

"Do you think she could be – given time?"

Simon shook his head, "Something about the way she talks about it – I just don't think so. And I don't think she should have to be."

"I'm not one to say much about that – but you remember what happened when Sarah and I got married."

"But it all worked out in the end."

"Yeah – but Dad can relate to Rabbi Glass – they're both men of God and their ideas of God are similar – _they're_ similar. If Caroline's parents have a different take on things – it could get messy."

"Thanks – you're really helping."

Matt laughed, "Just being honest."

"I appreciate that – I just wish I didn't think you're right."


	4. part four

**Chapter Eleven: **

Simon felt his jaw dropping to the floor when he saw her. It was as if Caroline had stepped out of the Grand Ballroom of the Titanic. "You look – amazing," he breathed.

"You're pretty handsome yourself," she smiled. She wore a gown of violet silk and black lace, accented by beaded trim, beads and black sequins. Her hair was done up with peacock feathers and small dark beads – her face was only lightly accented with make-up, something he'd never noticed on her before. "Shall we?" Caroline crooked her arm.

"Sure." Simon took it – he'd taken her mother's advice and wore a black tux with a white vest and bowtie. "Wow," he said again.

Outside, a limousine was waiting to take them to the party.

Simon said nothing about the noticeable absence of Caroline's father. He was beginning to suspect that there was something more than meets the eye there – but if Caroline wanted him to tell him what that was, she would.

Catherine, however, looked radiant – Simon could tell that she was completely at ease in the long ball gown of burgundy velvet. Diana, wearing emerald green, seemed as if she could fit in anywhere (and Fin cleaned up amazingly well, Simon was surprised). Joe looked as if he felt just slightly uncomfortable in his tux – Devin was used to one, Simon could tell. So were Sam and Jonathon – and the ladies looked beautiful – but none so lovely as the one on his own arm. Simon smiled down at her – she whisked them gracefully around the room saying hello's – most were to people he'd already met, a few were strangers who seemed little more than acquaintances to Caroline.

Jake and Loren were half hiding in a corner, chatting – he looked amazingly handsome in a tux – she was beautiful, Simon thought – yet still, unable to compare with the radiant beauty standing next to him. He wondered – and not for the first time – just what she saw in him. Here was her life – high society, rubbing elbows with lawyers and judges and millionaires – and a couple of odd and scruffy types that defiantly didn't fit Simon's idea of any sort of 'mold' for her life – and then there was him, the son of a preacher and stay at home mom. It just didn't make sense – but, he supposed, it didn't have to.

"You remember Kate, don't you?" Caroline said.

Simon had barely noticed the dark girl drift over to them; her dress was like black cobwebs woven together; her hair was up and silver earrings dripped from her ears. From a silver chain hung an angel – not the usual cherub type, it reminded him almost of St. George, (as in 'and the dragon' fame) the way it held a spear as if attacking something at it's feet. She smiled. "Nice to see you again."

"Wow – nice to see you too. You look great."

She chuckled – it was a bizarrely grown up laugh. "You too, Sunshine – you clean up well."

"That's an unusual necklace."

"Vincent had it made for me on the anniversary of my – meeting of he and Catherine."

"I don't think I've ever seen an angel portrayed as quite so – savage."

"I like to think of her more as being filled with fury."

"Hopefully righteous fury."

"It's a balancing act." She smiled enigmatically and with a slight nod excused herself.

"She's – different," Simon thought back to their encounter on the street.

"She has a lot to be sad about."

At 11:30, Elliot and Amy made their announcement – there was a great deal of applause – and shock – running through the room. No one seemed to believe that they'd kept it a secret so successfully. Simon was watching them – the way he looked at her – and the way she looked back, when he became aware of Caroline next to him. He looked down and smiled. "Almost midnight."

"Come with me," she whispered, handing him his coat.

"Where are we going?"

She pulled him through the crowd, wordlessly.

Up on the roof, a small crowd had gathered. There was Loren, Amy and Elliot, Fin and Diana, Joe, Devin and Robbie, Sam and Lyla and Jonathon, Jake was there – and Kate, who sat almost perched on the ledge. She was the only not wearing a coat; a large black bird sat on her shoulder. Over her shoulder, Simon could see Time Square. The ball began to lower.

"What's going on?" Simon asked.

"This is our spot," Elliot told him, handing over half-filled glasses of champagne to both he and Caroline.

The ball lowered – and fireworks began – Simon was awed as the sky lit up in a blaze of colour as shouts of joy rang in the New Year – he felt Caroline reach for his hand – he wrapped his fingers in between hers. "This is beautiful – but not half as beautiful as you are." He whispered.

Caroline snuggled closer to him, laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Not funny – just – sweet."

"I could fall in love with you," Simon whispered.

"What's stopping you?"

He looked down into her eyes – they were the blue of the sea on a stormy day. "Fear."

"Of what?"

"Of this moment coming to an end.  
"Every moment comes to an end – and each ending is nothing more than a new beginning. Tell me honestly, does the age difference bother you?"

"Maybe just a little."

"I see," she pulled away just a little.

Simon followed her over to the ledge and looked out over the crowd of celebrants, cheering and throwing confetti in the street. It was just like on tv – only grander. "It's not the number of years separating us that worries me," he said. "I'm afraid you'll grow up and decide that I'm nothing but a childhood crush – I'm afraid you'll go off to college and meet someone – in your own league."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's something Matt said – you're out of my league."

"Matt doesn't know me. Neither do you, if you think that – that I'm out of your league."

"Caroline – your mother is a big shot in the D.A.'s office – we're here, at a party – surrounded by the upper most top of New York's upper crust. I'm just a kid from a little town in northern California. My dad is a minister and other than a very brief period of teaching school, my mother has never had a job outside the house. Tell me that my life compares with yours." He was immediately aware that he'd said something horribly wrong.

"My life is not this. It never has been – I thought you'd figured that out by now."

"I know there's more to you than ball gowns, private school and high society – but – I'm afraid you'll outgrow me before you turn eighteen."

"My life has never been ball gowns, private school and high society. My life – is – in another world. My life is apart from but intertwined with this place – and if I look like I fit in it's only because I've learned to pretend that I do. Maybe I pretend too well," she turned away from him, gazing out over the skyline. This was her mother's world – and she wanted to be a part of it. She wanted to practice law and make a difference – but a part of her was happy in the stony solace of the peaceful world Below.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's not you. Not entirely," Caroline gazed back into his eyes. "It's a lot of things and it's complicated. I'm testing out of the rest of high school – not because I'm a snob or think I'm better than the rest of them." She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the hurt, "God, some days I just want to scream at them all to just go away and leave me alone. But then they'd say that I was stuck up."

"High school really is tough for you," he pulled her close, wanting desperately to ease her pain.

"My mother isn't a celebrity – but people know who she is. People know who Elliot Burch is – and that he's close to my mother. People know that we have money – and yet I don't have anything in common with the kids I go to school with. I don't take riding lessons on the weekends and I have no interest in learning how to play tennis or golf or go skiing. I play chess because my Grand Father taught me and I play the violin because music has always been a part of my life. We don't have a country house in the Hamptons – and I don't have friends over for tea after class."

Simon half stifled his chuckle.

"Something funny?"

"It's just – I can't really picture you doing all those 'rich kid' things."

"How do you picture me?"

"I see you sitting in a café reading an old book. I see you dressed in black velvet dancing the way no fifteen year old has any right to dance."

She blushed.

"I see you here – staring out over Time Square – a part, but not really a part – of New York City. I see you as a lofty star – and I'm afraid that I'm nothing more than a small earthly mortal, trying to get your attention."

"And yet you've had it since the moment we met."

"Do you think I have any hope of keeping your attention when you go off to some Ivy League university – when you're surrounded by men who truly are your equals – and by people who are hopefully wise enough to see you as you are?"

"Very few people will ever see me as I truly am," Caroline told him. "I hope that someday you'll be one of them." She touched his cheek. By then, most of the others had wandered back inside where it was warmer. "It's getting late."

"It is," Simon agreed – he opened the door for her and they went back inside. "Would you like to go home?"

"Not really – I could spend all night with you – but then what would your brother say?"

He laughed; they said a few good byes and headed back down to the street. The same limo was waiting to take them back to the apartment.

"You're a million miles from here," Caroline said softly as the elevator doors opened; they stepped into the hallway, her arm in his, and walked towards her mother's apartment door.

"Sorry – just thinking."

"About?"

"Everything and nothing. Do you think I'll get to meet your father before I have to leave? I haven't even been to your house."

"Jayne and William are still under the weather," Caroline hated how easily the lie came to her lips. "I wouldn't want you to catch anything."

"If it's just the flu, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"I'd feel horrible if we got you sick, Simon. You'd take it home and infect your entire household and then what would your mother think of me?"

He laughed – whatever it was, he wasn't going to win.

Caroline walked him as far as the apartment door, "I promised I wouldn't be out too late," she said.

"You'll be ok by yourself?"

"It's not far."

"You know, I could walk you to your door for a change."

"You could. But we're already here." She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Happy New Years."

"Happy New Year." Simon smiled. Then, "Caroline – I hope – I hope I didn't say anything so wrong that I can't make it right again." She'd been very quiet on the ride back here. She didn't seem angry – just distant. Or maybe it was him…

"And I hope that you'll conquer the fear of your feelings. But I know that only time can ease that fear – and in time I hope that you will feel for me what I already feel for you."

Simon's heart thumped in his chest. "What – are you saying?"

She smiled, "That I love you."

"Caroline – I –"

"Shhh. Don't say anything – you don't need to. I understand that you're afraid." She squeezed his hand gently. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," he whispered. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…and then home. And yet every part of him wanted to stay here, despite what he'd said to his parents before about not flying across the country just to be with a girl… Simon watched her until she'd vanished behind the elevator doors. He went inside and locked the door, wondering where she went when she left him…

Caroline hugged her father, who had come to meet her half way home.

"What was that for?" Vincent inquired of the unusually strength behind her warm welcome.

"For being the best Father in the world."

Vincent lifted her into his arms – much to her surprise. The scant ninety-odd pounds she weighed was, of course, nothing to him. "And what have I done to earn such an honour?"

"You sacrifice so much already – but you still gave up being with your friends tonight, so Simon could be with us."

"There is very little that I would not do for your happiness, Princess," he hadn't called her that in years – but he liked the way it made her smile, now. "I know this boy brings you much happiness – besides, being unable to be there myself, I had to allow your uncles to evaluate him for me."

Caroline laughed, "I should have known there was an ulterior motive in there somewhere."

Vincent hugged her tightly. "You and your brothers and sisters have brought such joy to our lives – and yet for so many years you never seemed as happy as your mother and I would have liked to have seen you."

"Simon has brought something into my life – but – how did you do it?"  
"Do what?"

"Live with the separation, when you and Mother still met."

"It was painful," Vincent admitted. "But in its way, it was perhaps easier than the separation you must endure."

"Because at least she knew your world existed."

"Perhaps in time, he will come to know of your world."

"I know it's for the best not to tell him our secrets," Caroline assured her father. "It's just hard – I feel as if I am lying."

"Your Grand Father would agree, a lie of omission is still a lie. But sometimes it is a necessary lie."

Vincent smiled – and then asked a difficult question, at least for a father. "Tell me – do you love him – and does he love you?"

"I know how I feel – that the distance, no matter how difficult, doesn't matter. That not being able to share my world with him is painful because I want no lies between us. I've shared everything else – every other part of myself. Well, you know," she blushed.

Vincent chuckled, "Yes, I know."

"And I think he feels the same way – I can see it in his eyes and the way he respects the 'proper boundaries' of courtship. He doesn't treat me the way that boys at my school treat their girlfriends – he treats me the way someone raised Below would. He opens doors, and pulls out chairs – he holds my hands and kisses my cheek. He smiles when I come into a room and no matter how many people are around, I can tell that he is always aware of my being there – and I know that he's happy in my company. We can be all alone and I don't have to worry about what he might do. And he doesn't even know how easily I could hurt him."

Vincent chuckled – one thing he would never have to fear was any boy taking liberties with his daughters. Not only had Jake taught them exactly where to hit a boy, should a boy become forward, but his girls were of his blood, just like his boys, and had far greater than average human strength. "It is good that he respects you without knowing how much in the interest of his own good health it is for him to do so."

Caroline laughed with him, holding him tightly as he carried her through the tunnels, the way he used to when she was little. It had been quite some time since they'd really spent time together. And, she realized, with her plans to test out of high school at the end of the year and start college – even NYU – she would have less and less time to spend with her father. "I love you," she whispered.

Vincent held her close, gently aware of his daughter's feelings – of her own revelations of growing up. "You will always be in my heart, Caroline, no matter how far away you travel."

"Simon?"

"I know it isn't midnight there yet – but I wanted to say Happy New Year," Simon told his father.

"Where are you?"

"I just got back to the apartment – Caroline's on her way home."

"You sound like you're having a good time," Eric began slowly. There was something about his son's voice…

"She told me she loves me. And – I think I want to be close to her."

"So much for not leaving home in haste."

"I think I have figured out what I want to do with my life – and I'm sure she's the one I want to spend it with."

"I hear a but in there."

"But I'm afraid she'll go off to school and meet someone else."

"Is that why you want to move out there?"

"No," Simon said, honestly. "I want to be near her because I love being near her. What I'm afraid of is that – she's younger than me. I don't want her to outgrow me."

"How much younger?"

Eric hung up the phone. Sixteen. Just.

"Honey – what's wrong?" Annie asked – he'd gone all pasty and pale.

"That was Simon – he's fine," Eric said quickly – fine until he and Annie got their hands on him. _What_ was Simon thinking? He told Annie about their conversation…

From her hiding spot on the stair, Ruthie heard the whole thing. Within a half an hour, she'd slipped over to Lucy's house to tell her…and wondered why Lucy was mad at Kevin.

"You should have known."

"How could I know?"

"You're the one who dug up all that stuff!"

"I didn't ask about the dates for any of it."

"What stuff?" Ruthie asked.

Lucy gave her the highlighted version, ending with, "And someone should have paid attention to _when_ this all happened."

The clock chimed twelve…

**Chapter Twelve: **

Simon tossed and turned and finally gave up on the notion of sleep all together. His father had sounded really upset. Heck, he didn't blame him – he'd been right, he should have waited until after his parents met her to tell them. But – at the same time a lie of omission was still a lie and he really hated lying to his parents – he knew he'd be found out sooner or later anyway. He always was.

"Morning," Caroline handed him a cup of coffee.

Simon opened his eyes – he'd fallen asleep on the sofa. "Caroline – hi. Thanks." He wondered how long she'd been here – he hadn't even heard her come in…

"Have a rough night?" she teased.

"I talked to my dad last night," he stretched his neck; he'd fallen asleep at an awkward angle.

"Here, let me," she slid in behind him, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Simon felt – nervous – even after she started to work on the crick in his stiff neck. Having her quite this close – it felt really good.

"So what did you talk about?" Caroline asked, sensing his tension and hoping to distract him a little with conversation. She knew that talking about her father would be a mental cold shower!

"I – told him how old you are for one thing."

"How'd that go?"

"About like I figured it would. I wouldn't be surmised if he's already on a plane out here."

"He wouldn't."

"Oh yes he would. Caroline – about last night," he turned – it hurt.

"Don't worry about last night," she told him softly, mercilessly attacking the offending knot in his neck.

Simon groaned softly as the knot began to loosen; when he could speak again, he asked her why she didn't want to talk about what had happened last night. "You're not the only one afraid, Simon. I don't want to hear that you think I'm too young – that this is just some silly infatuation that I'm going to outgrow. I don't want to know that you think I'm just a kid – or that I have my whole life ahead of me to figure out things like this. I'm not mad at you," she added. "You're just saying what anyone would."

"What your parents have said?" Simon managed to pull her around to sit in his lap – he defiantly liked having Caroline this close – and he realized just how terrified he was that she'd go off to school and decide that he was nothing more than some silly crush. The thought of loosing her was painful – physically painful.

"No – but they're not like everyone else. Grand Father, on the other hand, has reminded me that I'm young and could easily fall again many times before seriously committing my life to someone. He reminded me that my father had a crush on a girl when he was just a little younger than me – and that my mother had been engaged when she and Father met. That even after they met, she developed feelings for Uncle Elliot."

"Elliot and your mother had a thing?" Simon asked – it wasn't the relationship that surprised him – it was that they were so close now. In his experience, few people remained quite so close with ex's.

"It's long and a little complicated – he fell in love with her – according to Uncle Elliot, Mother was the first person he ever truly loved."

"Watching him with Amy, it's hard to believe that he's ever loved anyone else."

"Amy is the only other woman he's fallen in love with. She says he's not the first she's fallen for – but she's never been so comfortable or happy before – like the guys before him weren't right, she just wanted to make them right, so she pretended a lot. We talked a lot the morning of her wedding," she smiled – Amy had been so beautiful that morning – and so very happy. The Great Hall was lit up with candles – the children had practiced long and hard to play the piece William had written for them – and when Amy walked up the aisle, in a simple, elegant dress of ivory lace, Father had to help Elliot keep on his feet, he'd been so overwhelmed. Everyone could see it in his eyes – the sheer joy of the moment… "I love seeing him happy, at last – he always seemed just a little – empty inside, before Amy came into his life. And they never would have met if she hadn't had car trouble one night when he was walking home from a concert. He stopped to see if she needed help – and convinced her to have dinner with him." Caroline laid her head against Simon's chest, not quite unaware that he needed a shower – but not quite caring either. There was something oddly comforting in his musky 'male' scent – the faint remains of last night's cologne – the lingering scent of her own perfume, still in the threads of his shirt from when they'd hugged… he held her close and stroked her hair for a while.

"I guess chance really does play a big part in life," Simon said after a short, comfortable silence had passed between them. "Like you, sitting in that café, just when Matt and I were there."

"Do you really mean that?"

"What, that I know exactly how lucky I am to have met you?"

"That you're not going to tell me that I should go off and feel free to date other guys next year."

"I probably can't tell you not to," Simon said, with slow thoughtfulness. "But I can tell you that it would hurt if you did."

"I don't want to see anyone else."

He pulled her close again, and kissed the top of her head; he drank in her scent, the sweet apply scent of her shampoo – a gentle muskiness that seemed to be a part of her being. "I feel like I'm being unfair, asking you to – hold out – for me."

"I'm the one asking you to hold out – I'm the one who's still a child."

Simon laughed, just a little. "You're no child, Caroline. You're more together than I am. But if you wait while I put the pieces of my life back together, I promise I'll do whatever I have to for you."

"You're life is more together than you think. And the only thing you have to do for me is – just be."

"Being is something I'm a little too good at. I need to do something."

"Than I know you will. Can I tell you something I haven't told anyone else?"

"You can tell me anything."

"I'm terrified of next year – as much as I said I was eager for university – I realize that I don't want to go, I just want to be out of high school and away from those horrible people. But – I know I'm only going to find more horrible people – and I'll be the youngest one there – and I'm so scared. I don't know how to tell my parents I'm not ready – I know they'll understand, but they've been so supportive of this whole thing, I don't want to let them down. Even though it's always been my choice – I chose to go to the school I'm going to now and I chose to stick it out when I realized how much I didn't fit in – and I'm choosing to test out early and go to college – but I don't want to."

"You should go. Even if it's just part time."

"You don't understand," she said softly. How could he – how could anyone but someone who had grown up Below know of the beckoning sanctuary of that place.

"I can't understand exactly what you're afraid of," he told her honestly, "But I can understand being afraid to grow up. All I wanted was to get out of high school, after killing that boy. But when I did get out, all I wanted was to go back, but I didn't know how, so I kept running – and the further away I ran the more I self destructed until I had no choice but to go home. And as much as I resented my parents and hated being there – the happier I've been since I moved back home. I needed that time to recover – really recover – from what I'd done. I needed the time to figure myself out – and to do something I'd been putting off."

"Growing up and moving on with your life."

He nodded. "Don't hold yourself back just because you're afraid. You can't – in the end you have to deal with it anyway."

"You sound suddenly very much like my father, who would tell me that I can't be afraid to live my life – because fear will only hold you back – and what then does life become?"

"Empty."

"Empty," she echoed.

"I only hope that you don't have some weird Oedipus complex," Simon teased her.

Caroline laughed, "If you knew my father, you'd know that even if I did – no one could compete."

"I'd like to meet him," Simon said – he felt her grow tense in his arms. "Why is it every time the subject comes up, you get stoney?"

"I – it's hard to explain, Simon. It goes back to all those things you don't know about me. Things I can't tell you."

"Can't tell me ever, or things you can't tell me now?"

"Things I can't tell you now."

"Ok. I guess I can be patient. I'd kinda figured there was more to it than 'the flu.'"

"Oh."

"It's ok. As long as you tell me it's something you can tell me eventually – then I know there's an eventually and I'm happy. Can I ask you something, though?"

She nodded.

"How would you feel if I moved out this way?"

"There's – so much you don't know about me. I don't want you to uproot yourself for – nothing."

"I know what I need to know. I know how I feel. I'm terrified that you'll meet some other guy and forget all about me – but maybe if I at least live a little closer, I'll have half a shot at competing with the guys you'll meet in school."

"There's no competition, Simon. You've met some of my closest friends – no polo playing boy from a rich family is going to be able to compete with what I already have, right here."

Simon looked at her for a long moment – just looked – the curve of her nose, the fine lines of her bones – the high set cheeks and almond shaped eyes – the slight point of her chin. There was something wild about her – something both feral and graceful – something alluring – and innocent. Something provocative. It made his blood stir – and yet something in him desired nothing more than to protect her innocence. "I'm only afraid because I love you," he said at last. "And I never want to loose you."

"Than you have nothing to be afraid of." She pulled him to her – gently pressing her lips to his.

Her kiss was soft – sweet – it promised so much more – he could feel the desires of his body – but the needs of his mind and heart were greater, even as he began to realize the fire that burned within her – and how it called to him. His very soul felt her flame – and in a single kiss, he began to imagine what his life could be like. _Please, God,_ he prayed silently, _don't let me mess this up…_

They walked through the park holding hands – for January, the day wasn't bad. There were other people out and about, enjoying the first day of the new year and the brightly shining sun. "Did you mean what you said about moving here?" she asked.

"Yes. As long as you're ok with that."

"I'd like it very much. And – I might be able to help you find a place to live. If you don't mind my helping."

"Are you kidding – it means I don't have to beg my brother to crash on his couch. He likes you – and us – but when I told him you were younger – then wouldn't tell him how old – let's just say that I can live here without constant lecturing."

She laughed. "I should warn you that anything I help you find – it'll be with people who've known me my whole life. You've barely touched the tip of the ice burg when it comes to the extended family."

"As long as whoever it is doesn't start out hating me, I'll be fine."

"I hope so."

Simon looked at the two men standing before him. The elder – older by perhaps five or six years – was darkly handsome – the kind of handsome that Camden girls didn't really go for – the kind of handsome that Jake possessed, but without that dangerous edge. Or at least without as much of it – and given that he'd just said he taught school in the New York public school system, Simon figured a little bit of an 'air' was probably a good thing. His name was Geoffrey Carmichael.

The other man – who looked nearer Simon's age – was lithely built with light brown hair and an infectious smile. He looked like a Kipper, even if Simon couldn't quite imagine the mind set of the parents who had named him that. "What serendipitous timing, dear Caroline," he grinned. "With Erik and Sam moving out – I was afraid we'd have to post a room mate wanted at the market."

Geoffrey nodded, "Brooke'll be home soon – assuming she has no objections, you can move in as soon as you like. Between the three of us, I'm sure we can find you a job in no time." He smile was more reserved, but it was genuine.

"Terrific," Simon was astonished – he'd expected that even with Caroline's help, it would be harder than this. She'd made a phone call – they ate lunch – and then took the subway over to what was really a gorgeous old house in a nice enough subdivision off a fairly decent neighbourhood. There were three bedrooms and an attic – Brooke and Geoffrey's two children shared the attic, but Geoffrey assured Simon that they were fairly quite children. For a six and a four year old.

"You're sure you don't mind close quarters?" Geoffrey asked again.

"I grew up with in a house of nine, with one bathroom," Simon laughed – this place, built about a hundred years ago, had one full bath upstairs (with a marvelous old 'reclining' tub that sat on lion's paw feet, in the centre of the bathroom), and a half bath on both the main floor and in the basement laundry room. "I shared a room with my younger sister most of my life," he added. His room was small – Brooke and Geoffrey had the largest room, but that only made sense, as there were two of them – and even their room wasn't much bigger than the one he and Ruthie had shared as children. His room had a sunny eastern window and a little balcony – it had a radiator and two outlets – and they'd warned him about the electric. Plug in too many things and the fuse blew. The pipes rattled and clanged – his room had a slight daft and a sharply slanted ceiling – but a decent sized closet and was fully furnished.

Erik and Samantha were moving out because she was pregnant with twins – and were moving about as far as the next block over where they would rent a flat from someone that Simon inferred was also a friend, an older lady called Sue-Anne who had just lost her tenant when he graduated from NYU, which was only a short bus ride away. A woman named Juta lived just down the lane and in the other direction, barely two blocks down a couple named Brian and Tarra shared a little house with their adopted daughter, Eileen – and a menagerie of animals. That house was next door to the one where Laura and Jerry lived. Caroline was right – she had quite a network of 'family friends.'

A pair of little girls plowed into Geoffrey, yelling _Daddy, Daddy, Daddy _at the top of their lungs. He laughed and hauled them both up into his arms, "You two are not making a very good first impression," he told them. "Simon – may I present my usually angelic daughters, Aria and Kyrie – and their beautiful mother, Brooke – a wonderful woman who does me the honour of being my wife."

"All right, Mr. Carmichael, what have you done and what do you want?" She grinned at him – happily handing over the bags of groceries to the stranger offering his assistance. Caroline grabbed a couple too, as did Kipper – "Ah – you must be Simon," Brooke intuited.

He flushed – apparently Caroline was right – everyone she knew, knew who he was. "Yes – nice to meet you, Mrs. Carmichael."

"Not only meet us," Kipper said, "Move in with us – if you give your ok."

"Oh?" Brooke queried – she was a lovely woman in her upper twenties with long honey brown hair and compassionate hazel eyes.

"I'd like to move out to New York," Simon told her. "My brother and sister in law live not too far from here – and my oldest sister lives in Buffalo with her husband."

"But more to the point, Caroline lives in New York," Brooke pointed out. She case her gaze towards the girl, "Do your parents know he wants to move closer to you?"

"Not yet," she blushed.

"I think that they should. Job?" She looked at Simon.

"Not yet. I have some savings though – I can write you a check for first and last month's rent right now, if you want."

"It's the in between that concerns me – but I'm sure we can help you find a job as long as you aren't too picky. School?"

"I'm in school – but probably won't get to register in time for winter semester out here."

Brooke nodded, "All right. I know this won't make much sense to you, Simon, but _after_ we talk to Catherine and Vincent, I'm sure you can move in." She was aware of Caroline's expression, "I know we're adults, Caroline – and we no longer live – where we grew up. But we're still part of a greater community – you didn't actually think I'd say yes without talking to your father – and grandfather – first, did you?"

"Not really," Caroline admitted.


	5. part five

_**as aside from the author:**_

_I need to make a correction, it's **Amy Brennaman**, not Amy Brennen, who should be credited for Judging Amy...and if anyone recognizes a New York doctor who spent a couple of seasons in Alaska, no, I did't create him either! His appearance later is the result of my beginning to wonder what would have happened after his walk home...and since Peter Alcott isn't getting any younger and the Tunnels would need a new doctor Above to take over when he passes on, especially with propagation of Vincent's liniage... it helps that Joel Fleischman isn't the sort of man who would question Vincent's existance - after some of the things he saw in Sically, the Tunnels could seem almost a little banal by comparrison..._

_Secondly, I spent a great deal of thought over the introduction of homosexual characters, especially since I chose someone from the Tunnel community to be one of them. The decision wasn't made lightly - and in part, the 'pairing' that I made was based on some more 'what if' musings... and now, a thought for all those who watch Law and Order SVU. Fin is a close friend of the Tunnel community. As is Huang - about to be revealed...imagine the endless source of amusement it must be for the two of them when Munch starts going about his oft-times wild theories...._

_Cheers and thanks for reading so far,  
Helen_

_ps - it is purly for reading clarity that I chose to have Erik from the Tunnels spell his name with a "K" instead of a "C" - I believe in most writing his name is spelled with a "C". Hopefully this will alleviate more confusion than it creates._

**Chapter Thirteen:**

"I hope – it doesn't bother you."

"What?" Simon asked her. They were on the subway back towards Catherine's apartment.

"The way everyone – respects my parents' feelings about you moving out here. And my grandfather's."

"It doesn't bother me that your friends might worry about what your parents will think about your twenty one year old boyfriend moving to the city to be closer to you, no," he smiled. "The only thing that worries me is how I can make a good impression on them – because the rent that your friends are charging is a lot less than anything I could find anywhere else."

"I'll talk to my father tonight – although by now, I'm sure he's already heard."

"Sounds like my family. I'm sure by now even Mary knows how old you are."

"I guess that gives us something in common," she suggested. "Do you want to do anything special this afternoon?"

"I already am," Simon put his arm around her.

Caroline laughed, "I'm serious."

"So am I. But if you're asking where I'd like to go – how would you feel about going to a movie. Lady's choice."

"You could be in trouble – that new one with Kate Winslet just opened. It's a real chick flick."

"Then chick flick it is."

Eric wasn't sure it was a good idea. Annie was insistent. He didn't blame her. Simon was doing it all over again – running away. He was always running – running and hiding. Still – he was an adult – how in the world was Eric going to convince him to come back home? He smiled as he saw Sarah waving across the terminal.

"Reverend Camden!" She hollered – then hugged him as soon as they had pushed their way through the crowded airport. "I hate to rush you through – but I have to get to work – I got called in early."

"No problem – I only came with a carry on."

"Smart move," she headed towards the 'out' door, "Last time Matt flew out to see you guys, his suitcase got shipped to Hawai'i!"

"So – you work with Caroline – what's she like?" Eric asked.

"I can tell you she doesn't look sixteen. And she doesn't act sixteen."

"Just – how does she act?"

"She talks about college – I pegged her for eighteen at first, until she mentioned still being in high school. Then I guessed her at eighteen – she was only fifteen."

"Fifteen and working?"

"It's just a volunteer position – she answers phones and runs errands – sometimes she helps the orderlies with things like cleaning out bed pans."

"Not the first choice for your average fifteen year old, even if all she was looking for was something good to put on a college application."

"She never treats it like that's all it is to her – Caroline really seems to care about the patients – she always knows their names and says good morning – and I've seen her bring flowers to people who have no visitors and take money from her own wallet to buy a patient a news paper or novel to read. I was surprised when she said she was going into law – she has a real gift for making people feel – warm. She'd make a great nurse – or even a doctor. I know her grandfather was a doctor – and she's close to one of the docs on senior staff, Peter Alcott."

"Close how?"

"A couple of weeks ago one of the patients got a little out of hand – he bit Caroline. Dr. Alcott came down to take care of her personally. Six stitches. He said he was her mother's doctor," she shrugged. "The only other doctor she's ever seen on staff is Joel Fleischman – he works out of the hospital but has his own practice downtown. That man is one strange bird." she shook her head. "Dr. Fleischman signed off on her physical this year – everyone at the hospital has to have one. I was going to do Caroline's – we're encouraged to 'practice' routine things as much as possible."

"Simon hasn't really told Annie or I much about her," Eric confided. "Lucy found out some things about her family history."

"Matt told me. And I found out that 'Uncle' Fin – the one Matt thought was a body guard – is really a detective with the Special Victims Unit. He said having breakfast with Caroline's family was like dining with half the lower east side – or at the Camden house."

Eric laughed. "Well, it's good to know family is important to this girl."

"Do you really think he'll move to New York for her?" Sarah asked.

"It looks that way. Six months ago he said the last thing he wanted to do was move out here just to be with her."

"A lot can change in six months."

"Yeah – I guess it can," Eric smiled – Sarah and Matt were living proof of how big a difference six months could make. They'd hit such a rough patch – but that was behind them, it seemed. He was glad. He loved Richard and Rosina – and he adored Sarah. Most of all, he was happy because Matt was happy – and happier yet that Matt hadn't dropped out of medical school. "What do you really think about Caroline?"

"As a person – I think she's kind and caring – she's a little quirky."

"Lucy quirky?"

Sarah laughed, "Defiantly not. Did you ever see Beetlejuice – with Michael Keaton?"

"Geena Davis was in that too, wasn't she?"

Sarah nodded, "Remember the girl – Lydia I think – Wynona Ryder played the part. She's that kind of quirky. She's goth without being – 'dark'. She's hip in an unpopular girl sort of way – because she certainly doesn't seem to have any friends at school. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if her two best friends _were_ a pair of ghosts living in the attic."

"Are you sure this is wise?" Jacob inquired, giving his granddaughter a stony, inquisitive look. Vincent and Catherine hadn't said much – but he was sure they had their own feelings. Brooke stood quietly in the corner, simply observing. She had grown into a lovely, wise woman – for her part, she'd said she found the boy affable enough, but she refused to admit him into her home (for all that the three of them lived there, she ruled the roost) without Father's assent on the matter.

"He wants to move here – and I knew that Geoffrey, Brooke and Kipper could use a new house mate. Simon is used to living with a houseful – it seemed like a natural solution to everyone's problem," Caroline kept her tone carefully neutral. She knew she should have discussed it with her father first – and probably Grand Father as well.

"What of this problem of age?" Vincent queried – having only just heard the true age of this 'young' suitor of hers, he was not pleased by the number of years that separated this boy from his daughter. No matter that she was mature for her years, Caroline was only sixteen.

"I don't see why it's such a big deal. You're older than Mother."

"Not by as many years – and we didn't meet as children," Vincent told his daughter.

"Look – you can't stop him from moving here," Caroline told them. "You can only stop him from moving in with Brooke – and if he's there you can keep a much better eye on us. Unless you're going to forbid my seeing him."

"And if we did?" Vincent asked.

Caroline considered for a long while, "You know that I would never defy you outright, Father. But you have to know how I feel about Simon – and I think you would be doing a great injustice if you tried to tell me that I shouldn't see him simply because he's older than I am."

Catherine spoke for the first time. "I know you feel strongly about Simon – and I do like him," she glanced up at her husband. "But you have your whole life ahead of you. Next year you'll be going to a very big school with a lot of people."

"All of whom will be older than me," Caroline pointed out.

"That is hardly the point," Vincent told his daughter.

"I think it's a very valid point – at least if you're going to use the argument that I shouldn't make any commitments until I've been in college for a few years. The very youngest boys there are going to be eighteen – the oldest will be as old as Simon or older."

"You're still sixteen," Vincent said, beginning to feel as if he was loosing ground fast.

"There is no denying that," she replied. "And no helping it either. I'm sixteen and Simon is twenty one. Five years. I know it's a big deal now – but by the time we're actually old enough to really commit to anything life-long, five years won't be such a big deal."

"Lifelong?" Vincent wanted to know. "You've spoken of such things with this boy?"

"Not implicitly, but I believe it's what we're both thinking."

Vincent sighed heavily. "You are right, I cannot prevent this boy from moving to New York. You have told me he is not like other young men from the world Above – and I have always trusted your judgment – I hope that I am correct in doing so now – and in truth, I am not a man who would ask his daughter to follow any path but the one to which her heart directs her. All I ask is that you tread with care, Caroline, remembering that you are still young – both of you – and that life holds many adventures yet in store for you. Do not let love for one person blind you to the endless possibilities that lie ahead."

"I won't. I can promise you that."

Vincent nodded; he had every intention of holding her to that promise. "Brooke, if you are looking for my blessing on this, you have it."

When someone knocked on the door, Simon had hoped it was Caroline – she'd said she'd get in touch as soon as she spoke to her father – still, he wasn't quite surprised to see his father standing in the hallway outside of Catherine's apartment. "Dad – what a surprise. Come in."

Eric looked around the spacious Manhattan apartment – it was obvious a woman had decorated it. Before she'd had children. Everything was in shades of white and cream and peach. "You don't sound surprised."

"Nah." Simon led the way into the living room. "Here to talk some sense into me?"

"You might say that."

There was another knock at the door. Simon excused himself – it wasn't Caroline, it was Brooke.

"I won't stay long," she said, noticing that he already had company.

"That's ok – this is my dad – Dad, Brooke Carmichael – my new land lady – I hope."

She chuckled mirthfully, "As soon as you write me that check you promised."

"Already done," he handed her the check – already made out and signed.

"Simon –"

"Dad – this is what I want."

"What about a job?" Eric wanted to know.

"Depends," said Brooke, "How do you feel about Chinese food?"

"I love it."

"Good – talk to Henry Pei," she handed him a business card. "He said he could use a good waiter a couple nights a week, as long as you're willing to learn a little Chinese – and the school where Laura and I work has an opening has an opening for a part time janitor. We'll have to talk to the principal, but knowing sign puts you right at the top of the list – which wasn't all that long to begin with."

"I have some janitorial experience," Simon told her, hopefully.

"Good. Come by the school after talking to Henry tomorrow."

"Thanks, I really appreciate this."

Brooke just smiled, "Like I said, it wasn't first and last that concerned me – it was all the months in between. Now I know you won't have any excuses not to pay. On time – that means the twenty fifth. No excuses. You buy your own food – and keep it on your shelves. Pick up after yourself and leave the laundry room neat after washing your cloths. We split the bills evenly four ways. Here's your keys – front – back – deadbolt – storage shed. No copies unless you ask. No parties – I'm not worried about girls," she grinned wryly. "Vincent and his father practically raised me – and Geoffrey and Kip, by the way. Oh and a friendly piece of advice – don't get into any chess games with Kipper unless you enjoy loosing," she winked. "Good night – it was nice to meet you, Reverend." She nodded congenially and let herself out.

"Simon," Eric began. "You can't just move out here on a whim. What about your job in Glen Oak?"

"I called Angelo today and explained the situation. He said he was sorry to see me go but he'd give me a good reference. I was hoping to ask you and mom to shove my cloths in a box and ship them out – but even after paying Brooke, I should have enough for the flight."

"It's not that – what about school?"

"I cancelled my classes by phone. Full refund. It's too late to register out here – but I'll get back in, in the spring. I'll need the time to save some money anyway. I'm not giving up on school, I'm just taking a semester off."

"You mean another semester off."

"Fine. Another semester off."

There was another knock at the door.

"You seem to be a popular guy," Eric muttered.

Simon excused himself – he opened the door for Fin and Diana. "We just got the news," Diana said. "Thought we'd invite you out to dinner to celebrate."

"Hi – I – got a bit of a surprise visitor."

Eric smiled amiably at the pair. She looked like an adult version of Anne of Green Gables – he looked like he should be on the cover of a rap CD. "Eric Camden – Simon's father," he introduced himself.

"Reverend," Fin shook his hand. "Nice to meet you. Odafin Tutuola."

"And this is Diana Bennett," Simon introduced her.

"Nice to meet you," Diana smiled. "You're welcome to join us. Amy and Elliot will probably show up – I think Loren said something about a movie with Jake. But I do believe that a certain young lady will be there," she smiled mischievously at Simon.

"In that case," Eric said, "I'd love to come."

Simon groaned – he could tell that Fin was laughing. Yeah, it was time to face the music…

**Chapter Fourteen:**

They were a mixed bunch – Diana was attractive and soft spoken. Odafin had the air of street-tough – Elliot Burch was every bit the handsome billionaire (although it was clear that he and Fin shared a close bond despite the obvious social gap) – Amy reminded Eric a little of Lucy – and Caroline – well, she didn't look sixteen, that was for sure.

"What a truly a pleasant surprise," she smiled when Simon introduced her to his father. "Simon didn't tell me you were coming to New York."

"Simon didn't know," Eric told her.

"Well – we ordered plenty of appetizers," Elliot's smile was genuine. "And there's always room at the table for one more."

Eric smiled – the waitress arrived on cue with a tray full of shrimp cocktail, salmon pâté, cheese, fruit and bread and a bottle of chilled white wine. When Eric said 'just water' to her inquiry of other drink needs, Elliot told him to please order whatever he liked – he was picking up the tab. Fin ordered a beer – Caroline and Simon got sodas. Eric stuck with water – and when he saw the dinner menu was dumb struck. Fifty bucks for a steak… which was what Caroline and Simon both ordered. He ordered the grilled chicken breast – at a mere forty dollars, it was a steal…and better for his heart.

The dinner conversation ranged from politics to sports to personal matters like how Amy was adjusting to life in New York again. She'd lived her with her ex husband and had hated it – so far she and Elliot were splitting their time between her home in Hartford and his apartment here in the city, while they figured out a more reasonable solution to the problem of her truly loving her job – and his unwillingness to leave the city – for reasons Eric couldn't quite fathom, but which seemed perfectly clear – and reasonable – to just about everyone else.

"The tiramisu here is to die for," Elliot said as the dinner dishes were being cleared.

"Die being the operative word," Amy told him. "Cheese and cream – just what your heart doesn't need."

Elliot sighed, "Do you think my poor heart could stand up to a slice of fruit pie?"

"I suppose we could work something out," she smiled at him. "You were pretty good having chicken for dinner – I saw you eyeing the steak."

"You too, huh?" Eric asked.

"Five years ago. Ever since then it's been chicken, fruit, vegetables and jogging."

"I've managed to skip out on the jogging – but my wife made me sign up for water aerobics for a while."

Elliot laughed – they ordered desert.

Eric Camden, who had never really felt like a fish out of water anywhere, felt strange in the company of these people – they were from varied walks of life – a suburban Hartford juvenile court judge, a rough around the edges detective – it was hard to tell what Diana did, when Eric asked, she just labeled herself an investigator – a billionaire contractor, an amazingly soft spoken young woman who did not look her age – and his son. One of these things was not like the other…and Eric couldn't tell which thing was the most out of place…

"I'll talk to you tomorrow after I get out of school," Caroline smiled up at Simon.

"I look forward to it," aware that everyone was watching, he just squeezed her hand.

"It was nice to meet you, Reverend," Caroline added to Simon's father. She gave Fin and Diana each a big hug and blushed when Fin called her Squirt. She said her good byes to Amy and Elliot – a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek – then went her way while they went theirs.

"Is she ok walking like that?" Eric asked Fin, as they got back into his car – defiantly the souped up Mustang Matt had seen.

"Squirt's fine. She's not far from home."

Simon kept silent – she always told him that the apartment wasn't far from home – but they were not terribly near the apartment…he tucked it away for later consideration. When his father wasn't around.

"You need help moving?" Fin asked.

"So far all I have is what I brought with me."

"I've got some old dishes you're welcome to," Diana told him. "And a few pots and pans."

"I'll bet you end up with more stuff than you know what to do with," Fin warned him with a smile.

"And Simon has a bunch of stuff at home, too," Eric said. "Annie and I can bring it out – I'm sure your mother would love to see your new place."

"What about Ruthie and the twins – you can't just pull them out of school – and Martin."

"Oh, I'm sure Luce won't mind filling in."

"Thanks, Dad," Simon managed not to quite groan. He could tell by Fin's reflection in the rear view that the big man was having a heck of a time not busting a gut.

"Here we go," Fin pulled up to the curb. "Hey – you got our number?"

"No – "

He handed back one of his cards, "My cell is always on. Holler if you need anything."

"Thanks, Fin. I really appreciate it."

"Ain't nothin'," Fin smiled.

"Good night," Diana told them. "I'll bring those dishes and pans by your new place tomorrow and tuck them into your bedroom."

"Does everyone know everyone?" Eric asked, as they rode the elevator up.

"I get the feeling that they do," Simon told him. "So – what did you think of Caroline?"

Eric was quiet for a while, gathering his thoughts. They went into the apartment – it seemed odd that her mother would just let him use it – would trust a total stranger. It was the sort of thing he'd do – but that was different. He was a minister. Catherine Chandler-Wells was an attorney. "Caroline seems nice," he said cautiously. "But she's sixteen, Son. _Barely_ sixteen. That's a very young – impressionable – age."

"You talked to her – she's more together than I was – than I am – and I know it. And I'm in love."

"What about her? Do you think she's old enough to understand what love really is?"

"She's not like other girls, Dad."

"What about – the physical nature of your relationship." He was almost afraid to ask.

"We've kissed – really kissed – barely kissed, really – once."

"Barely kissed?"

"When I'm with Caroline I don't feel like I need any more than to just hold her hand, just have her near. I don't need to make out with her."

Eric stared at his son, disbelief filling him. This was the one who had engaged in pre-marital sex? "I find that hard to believe – especially with you moving out here like this."

"You don't have to believe it for it to be true. I'm happy just to be near her. I'm happy knowing she feels the same way I do. I'm more than happy to wait for – whatever comes next – and I'm totally happy to wait to get married to ever get as far as sex – and I know that at her age, marriage is a long way off."

"Have you two talked about all this?"

"Not exactly."

"What does not exactly mean?"

"It means I know she's only sixteen – I know she has at least eight or nine years of school ahead of her – and they're going to be difficult years."

"That's a long time, Simon."

"I know. So does she. Neither of us is going into this blindly. Why don't you try getting to know her before you pass judgment."

"I guess I'm wondering how well you can possibly know her."

"We talk on the phone once or twice a week – and we email almost every day."

"That's not the same thing as being face to face."

"Why do you think I want to move? I know that I'll be busy working – and she has the rest of this year in high school – but we'll find time to be together. We'll get to know each other better. We're not getting married – I'm moving. You don't have to make such a big deal out of it."

"I do – Simon, I do. Your mother is worried about you – I'm worried about you. What's going to happen when things don't work out?"

"If that happens – I just move back home – or if you won't have me, I move somewhere else. But I don't think it's going to happen – I know it isn't. Please – get to know her."

"I'd be happier getting to know her parents."

"Maybe you can have lunch with her mother – she works not too far from here."

"Or you could take me to their house tomorrow evening."

"Her little sister is just getting over the flu," Simon used the same lie Caroline did. "She's doing better – but she's pretty contagious right now."

"I see. Well – then I guess I'll have to settle for lunch."

"Great – look – why don't you take the bedroom – you can call mom, let her know things aren't going well – I'm going to crash out on the sofa."

"Tomorrow's going to be a big day, I guess." Eric said.

Henry Pei was an average looking Chinese man in his early forties; his restaurant was in the heart of China town, and had from the looks of things, he was doing quite well for himself. "I need someone Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights – Thursday six to ten, Friday and Saturday six to eleven – give or take."

"I know how it goes," Simon told him. "And that would be great."

"No problem working the 'prime date nights'?" Henry queried.

Simon laughed, "You have to know who my girlfriend is – no, no problem."

"Caroline can help you with some Chinese – I have a friend who can teach you more – no charge, but you're at the mercy of his hours. He knows to expect your call," Henry handed over a piece of paper.

"Thank you - I'll call him this afternoon to set up the first lesson."

Henry nodded, "Good. We're not open Christmas, Christmas Eve, American New Year's Eve or day, Thanksgiving, Easter or Good Friday. Chinese New Year, we're booked solid – so even if it isn't your regular day, expect to work. Sometimes I need extra help on Mothers and Father's day."

"I'm your man."

"Excellent. Can you be here this Thursday, at six to start training?"

"I will be here – what should I wear?"

"Good shoes – don't go cheap. White tux shirt, black pants – I supply red bow ties and vests. No earring," he added, "Drives my wife nuts."

"No problem. Thanks again." This had been the easiest job interview of his life.

"Thanks for taking the time to see me on short notice," Eric said to the woman who had risen from behind her desk to greet him. She was an attractive woman – probably about his own age, with slightly greying golden brown hair and twinkling brown eyes. Her hair was long; she wore it in a single neat braid – her smile was genuine and filled with great warmth. Her handshake was firm – she wore a light blue linen suit and soft silk blouse – looking at her, it was obvious that she was the woman who had decorated the apartment.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Reverend Camden."

"Please – just Eric is fine. I'm not really here in any official capacity."

"You're here as a father," Catherine stepped out from behind her desk and shut her door. "Would you like a cup of really bad coffee?"

He chuckled, "No – thanks. Can I buy you lunch?"

"We have a cafeteria – the food is decent – I have to be in court in an hour."

"Cafeteria food it is."

"So – you're aware of Simon's age?" Eric asked, as they settled into the only free blue plastic table in the loud, over crowded room.

"Oh yes. I had suspected even before Caroline told us – after meeting Simon a couple times, it was fairly obvious that he wasn't quite a teen."

"And you – don't mind?"

"I think my husband was – pensive – when she told us that Simon was twenty one."

"Pensive. I have the feeling that that word doesn't begin to do it justice."

Catherine smiled, "No, not really. But – we have always trusted her. And your son seems like a wonderful young man – you and your wife should be very proud of him."

"We're talking about the same kid here – yea tall, blond hair…?"

She laughed, "He is a wonderful young man, Eric. I can see where he gets it. Many parents wouldn't care enough to fly across the country just to try and talk some sense into their son – I'm assuming that's why you're really here."

"Yes. Not that it's done much good."

"He knows how much you love him. There's value in that."

"He's still moving," Eric stared down at his plate for a moment. "I don't know your daughter – but I know teen agers. Do you honestly believe it's possible for a sixteen year old to fall in love? Real love?"

"I do. I believe that through love all things are possible – and I believe that when you have the courage to dream that everything else is easy. Your son has that kind of courage – and so does my daughter. If they can see beyond their age – and if we can do the same – there is no reason to doubt the ability of their love to endure. You've seen them together – can you honestly tell me that you don't see something there?"

"No – I can't. And that's what scares me. Simon has been throughan awful lotthese last few years – it's like he's been – running away from everything."

"Perhaps this time he has found something to run towards."

"You really believe they have a chance."

"How can I not, when they love each other?"

"So – you actually support his decision to move out here?"

"Simon isn't my son, Eric – it's not my support he needs. Even so – my daughter loves him –and I like him very much, if only because he makes her so happy. Brooke wouldn't have let him live in her home without our blessing – and I doubt very much that Henry Pei would hire him without it, either. In those things, he has my support."

"I guess – I just don't understand where you're coming from. I have a daughter whose almost sixteen – I know how my wife and I would react if she brought home a guy five years older than she is."

She smiled, thoughtfully, "I suppose that each parent has to do what they feel is best for their child."

"And it's best for your daughter – who's about to test out of her last year of high school, so she can begin college – to go out with my son, who doesn't seem to be able to keep his act together?"

"They balance on another. I see the way he looks at her – his heart is genuine. He is kind and caring – he tells me that he's been working and going to school, paying you rent – trying to put his life back together. He has a great deal of inner strength – perhaps more than you give him credit for."

"Eric – you were supposed to bring him home," Annie said when he called her later that day.

"I know. But he's an adult – I can't force him."

"We have to do something."

"I'm not sure there's anything for us to do. Her parents support this."

"That can't be – don't they know how old he is?"

"That's what puzzles me." Actually, it wasn't the only thing that puzzled him…

Simon navigated his way through the subway system to the school for the deaf where Laura and Brooke worked. It was an old three story building in a mildly frightening neighbourhood – there were high fences and locked gates – a security guard had to let him in. But inside, the halls were clean – pictures drawn by children of all ages lined the walls – it smelled like a school – but it felt comfortable. The principal, a woman named Hilda Anderson, was waiting for him in front of the office. She invited him to take a walk with him, while they talked. A petite woman with ebony skin and a neat grey bun, she wore the bright colours of a proud African American and carried herself with dignity and poise. Her smile convinced Simon that he was going to like this woman, even if she didn't hire him.

:Brooke tells me you know sign.:

:A little.: he signed back.

:Can you tell me where you learned?:

:My brother dated a deaf woman in college – I picked up some from him.:

"You picked up quite a bit," she smiled. "My daughter was deaf – that's part of what brought me here. First as a teacher – and not as a principal. We're mostly privately funded – my teachers don't make what they should. None of the staff does."

"I understand – I'm looking at a career in teaching. It doesn't seem as if any teachers really make what they should – those in private schools do even worse, even though private schools give better educations. It really is unfair."

"Amen to that. So – you're interested in becoming a part time janitor."

"Honestly, I'm interested in making enough money to stay in New York – and get back into school. If that means sweeping floors and moping up bathrooms, I don't mind. I did some custodial work in high school."

"I'll tell you what – I need a janitor part time. I've got a couple of applicants who are all decent enough people. But none of them can sign. And none of them are interested in a career in teaching – assuming you're not having one over on me."

"No, Ma'am. I'll be happy to give you the number of my college councilor."

She smiled, "I'm sure we don't need to go through all that. I know you're applying for the janitor's job – but I'm wondering if you'd be interested in a job as a teacher's assistant."

"Are you serious?"

"Now – don't get too excited until you hear the whole deal. Its eight am to three pm, Monday through Friday. Ten bucks an hour – summers and holidays off – but we do have a summer program and could probably use you, if you're interested. There's no benefits and you wouldn't belong to the teacher's union. And you'd still end up sweeping and moping from time to time. But at least it'll look better on your resume than 'custodian."

"I would love the job."

"Then I guess we'll see you on Monday, Mr. Camden."

"Simon – that's almost fifty hours a week. When are you going to find time for school?" Eric asked.

"I'll have Monday throughWednsday after three and Saturday during the day. I stopped by NYC admissions on my way back and got an application form as well as financial aid forms."

"Financial aid?"

"Dad – I don't expect you to keep paying for my tuition."

"Look – fill out the forms. If you don't get it – I'll keep paying your tuition. I'd rather do that than loose you. And when – if – things go bad – you'll always have a place to come home to. I hope you know that."

"It's good to know."

"Simon can we talk – I mean, really talk?"

"I'd like that." He sat down on the sofa across from his father.

"Ok – so you have an apartment. You have these two jobs – and you talked to your old boss. You've dropped out of school – but I can see that you're serious about going back. And you're obviously serious about this girl. What's your plan?"

"My plan?"

"You know – your goals – what next? Marriage, a house in the country, what?"

"I thought you said you wanted to talk," Simon tried to keep his temper in. His father's tone was derisive.

"I am being serious. What next?"

Simon sighed. "She's sixteen. We haven't talked about getting married."

"Don't you think you should?"

"Dad, come on."

"I mean it – you're moving clear across the country to be with this girl, the least you could do is find out if it's what she really wants."

"I did – before I committed to moving, I asked her how she felt about that."

"And?"

"And she helped me find a place to live and a job. I'd say she likes the idea of me living here."

"But isn't she going to Harvard?"

"She's been accepted to a couple of schools. For the next couple of years she's going to go to NYU – she doesn't want to live too far from her family."

"So – not you, them – so in other words, it wouldn't really matter if you move here, she's going to be living on campus in Boston in a year."

"Why are you making this into some kind of – _thing_."

"Because I don't think you've thought this through. I think you're in love and that's great – even if I don't think it's great that she's sixteen. I think you're using this as an excuse to keep running away from the rest of your life, Son."

"And I think you're wrong. I think I've found the rest of my life."

"She's sixteen and after meeting her mother – I get the feeling that Caroline might be a little sheltered – she's going to go off to school and she's going to meet a lot of young men. She could come back from her first semester and not want the same things you do any more."

"You know, this is exactly what she's afraid of – no one taking us seriously. Fine – fine." He calmed himself. "That's fine, Dad – you don't have to take this seriously. I know you love me – I know Mom loves me. I just don't think you realize that Caroline is the best thing that has ever happened in my life."

"Just – please, hear me out. Didn't you feel that way about Cecelia? And didn't you feel so strongly about Georgia that you slept with her?"

"Yes and yes. Didn't you have girlfriends before Mom?"

"Simon –"

"Didn't you? Weren't there girls you thought you were going to marry – until you met her?"

"Of course there were women I dated – and a few that I thought I loved – but that's not my point."

"It is mine. After you met Mom, you knew, didn't you – you knew she was the one."

"Your mother wasn't sixteen at the time. Age is a huge factor in this."

"I know – believe me I know. The thought of her going off to school and meeting someone else terrifies me. I can't hover over her – but at least I can show her that I'm here – that I want to be near her. I can show her as best as I'm able that I'll always be here when she comes home."

"And if she does meet someone else?"

"Than I guess I'll have to let her go."

Eric looked at his son, "I hope you know what you're doing."

"I do, Dad. She's become everything that is bright and wonderful in my life. If I didn't honestly believe that she felt the same way I did, I wouldn't move away from everything else, just to be with her. You asked what the plan was – I don't have a plan. I'm going to take one day at a time – I'm going to treasure each moment with her. That's all any of us can really do."

"When did you turn into a romantic?"

Simon laughed, "I think that guy has always been there inside – Caroline just brought it to the surface."

"Her mother's pretty – romantic."

"Cathy – yes, she is. She's instilled a lot of those same values into her daughter."

"Just – how would you feel if it was Ruthie dating a twenty one year old?"

"Of course I'd have reservations, Dad. Caroline's brother Jake has made it clear that he has some too – but he also respects his sister's decisions."

"I wish I understood yours. But – in any case, your mother will be in this evening – we're going to stay at Matt and Sarah's – I assume you'll be moving into your new place soon."

"I'm going over there tonight – Cathy said to tell you that you were welcome to stay here as long as you like."

"I think we've imposed enough."

Caroline met Simon at the front door of his new house. From the look of things, she'd been there for a while; her homework was sprawled out over the dining room table and she'd changed from her school uniform into an over sized cable-knit sweater and long brown skirt. He leaned in and kissed the top of her head as she hugged him hello. "You have no idea how much I needed that," he whispered as she drew him into the house.

"That bad?"

"Well, I suspect you've already heard the good news."

"You start at Henry and Lin's on Thursday and the school for the deaf on Monday," she smiled up at him. "And the bad news?"

"My mom is flying in tonight with the rest of my stuff. Where's everyone else?" He looked around – the place seemed empty.

"Geoffrey usually stays after school for a few hours tutoring – Brooke gets home late on Tuesdays because the girls have ballet class – and Kipper went to visit my grandfather."

"Was this intentional?"

"They'll never admit to it. I got you a housewarming gift," she handed him

a package wrapped in plain brown paper.

"Caroline – you didn't need to get me anything."

"I know."

Simon kissed her forehead – he unwrapped the parcel. The paper pealed back to reveal a pair of CD's – Loreena McKennit's new one and a recording of classical music that included Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and Greig's piano concerto, Barber's adagio for strings, and Clair de Lune by Debussy. The play they'd seen over the summer was _Frankie and Johnny and the Clair de Lune_. He smiled, "Thank you."

"It isn't much."

"It comes from you."

**Chapter Fifteen:**

Annie looked over the house with trepidation. The lights were on – the porch needed painting – but the walk was shoveled. "I don't think I like Simon living in this neighbourhood," she told her husband; behind them, the taxi stood waiting – all of Simon's stuff was crammed into boxes in the trunk.

Eric looked around – only a few driveways had cars in them – and what cars there were, were ten or fifteen years old and held together mostly with bondo and prayer. Most first story windows had bars – most of the homes were old but looked neat and well cared for. Still, it was a long way from Glen Oak. He took his wife's hand and they walked up to the front door. He rang the bell.

"It's open!" Called a loud male voice from inside.

"Guess they're expecting us," Eric shrugged. He opened the door – there were half a dozen people in the living room, laughing at something someone had said. They froze when the two strangers came in – for a moment, Eric wondered if they had the right place – then he spotted Brooke.

"Reverend – and Mrs. Camden, I presume?" She wiped her hands off on her apron and came to greet them. "Come in, come in – you brought Simon's things?"

"In the taxi," Eric looked over the group gathered – they seemed like an ordinary bunch of folks – there was one Tenctonese amongst them, a young woman who seemed almost out of place dressed in blue silks – she looked exotic compared to the plainness of those around her.

"Zach – Brian – Erik – a hand please?" Brooke said – the three men were already on their feet.

The Tenctonese woman rose with them, "I'm twice as strong as they are," she winked at Brooke.

"And twice as organized," Brooke grinned back. "Reverend, Mrs. Camden, this is Samantha – Laura – Tarra – and Juta," Brooke introduced the woman, signing as she spoke.

Samantha – who was very pregnant – wore a dress that made her look like an extra from the set of Little _House on the Prairie_ – she had blond hair pulled up into a bun and was knitting – it looked like squares to a baby blanket. She was a pretty girl,with big blue eyes and a wide, welcoming smile.

Laura wore her long brown hair in a pair of braids – she had large brown eyes and a ready smile; her figure was waiflike.

Tarra was another waif – caramel coloured skin and big brown eyes, she had a warm handshake and bright smile; her hair was done in a million tiny braids that hung down to the middle of her back, pulled into a pony tail by a large, ornate barrette.

Juta was a stunning woman of Asian-Indian decent – her thick black hair hung in a single braid down her back and she wore a sari of rich burnt orange.

Brooke went on: "Geoffrey, Jerry and Kip are out back with the children building a snow man – dinner is almost ready. If you want to go out back, Simon's with them. Just beware of flying snowballs." Brooke herself was a very pretty woman – she had long honey brown hair and dark eyes that gave the impression of quiet wisdom. She was clearly the matriarch of the group, though she wasn't the oldest of them.

Annie sat through dinner – roast beef, new potatoes and carrots – and watched. Her first impression of Caroline had not been a good one – seeing the sixteen year old, her hair flying everywhere, on top of Simon's back, piggyback, his arms wrapped around her legs (she wore a skirt and long red and white striped socks). She was pelting snowballs at a pair of girls hiding behind a wall of snow – there was a teenaged boy, throwing snowballs at Simon's chest – of course everyone was laughing, including the three men who were putting the last touches on a snowman, with a pair of much younger girls. As soon asAnnie hadstepped out into the backyard – Eric had remained behind to help pull dinner out of the oven – the laughing had stopped. Caroline slid off of Simon's back, affording Annie with her first real look at the 'enemy' – and who could compete with that? Petite, stacked – and with a family history that was tragic enough to get to anyone's heart. And Annie did feel for the things that her mother had gone through – but it didn't change the fact that this was a colossal mistake and somehow this girl's parents were encouraging it. So she smiled – and she introduced herself and she met the children, the older girls, Piper (who was deaf, like her mother Laura) and Eileen, Brian and Tarra's adopted daughter, and the younger girls, Aria and Kyrie, who were Brooke and Geoffrey's children – the boy, Jeremy, Piper's brother. There was another child, an infant Shannon, who was awake by the time dinner started. Laura nursed her right at the table. Shannon, she said, was her surprise baby. Husband Jerry seemed just as pleased.

Everyone had impeccable table manners – they even asked if Eric would like to say a blessing before dinner. He kept it short and sweet – feeling as if she was probably sinning, Annie watched covertly. Grace, the Tenctonese woman who was apparently Zach's wife – was reverent, but probably not praying. Caroline was polite, but definitely not praying. Brooke, it seemed, was a Christian, as was her husband Geoffrey and Erik and Samantha – Jerry wore a crucifix, marking him as Catholic – Laura didn't seem to entirely share his faith, but was polite. Brian and Tarra seemed to go through the movements more than anything – likewise with Juta. The children sat quietly, even the little ones.

Half way through dinner, there came a knock at the door. There was a brief 'squabble' over who was closest – finally Tarra rose to go see who it was. "Look what the cat dragged in!"

A handsome, very well dressed Asian man followed her back into the dining room. "Good evening," he nodded, at everyone – then zeroed in on Simon, "Simon?"

"Yes –?"

"We spoke on the phone earlier. George Huang," he extended his hand.

"Dr. Huang," Simon stood and shook his hand.

"Please – just George."

"We're glad you were able to make it," Geoffrey said to George, as he got up to get an extra plate and silver from the kitchen, while others shifted around the table to make room – Tarra had already snagged the stool from Brooke's sewing machine for him to sit on.

"I didn't think we'd see you tonight," Kipper stood – he and George exchanged a warm hug and far greater than brotherly peck on the cheek.

Simon felt uncomfortable for his parents – he felt Caroline's hand on his shoulder and turned to smile at her – no, it would be fine, he thought. She smiled – and nothing else in the world mattered…

George was speaking again, "I may still have to run, if they find anything new – but right now, there's nothing useful for me to be doing. I thought I'd come by – meet Simon – and enjoy a home cooked meal," he smiled to Brooke, giving her cheek a far more brotherly peck.

"Well we're glad you could make it," Brooke said.

"These are Simon's parents," Caroline introduced. "Reverend and Mrs. Camden – George Huang is a friend of my Uncle Fin's."

"I'm not sure either of us would go that far," George smiled. "Suffice it to say Detective Tutuola and I work together from time to time." He took his seat, next to Kipper.

"So – you work with the police?" Eric Camden inquired, trying to take some of the attention away from his wife's discomfort. He had his own beliefs – but it was still a free country. (Although sitting here, he got the strangest feeling that he'd stepped into some other world – or perhaps the set of the Twilight Zone. There was no one thing that he could put his finger on – just – that there was something – different – going on.)

"I'm a psychiatrist with the FBI – what most people call a profiler. I don't really care for the term myself." George shrugged lightly, and accepted the roast beef that was being passed to him. "But I suppose my background does lend certain insight – I work frequently the Special Victims Unit in Manhattan – which is where I met Fin Tutuola."

"And – Simon called you –?" Annie asked – a psychiatrist and an FBI agent?

George smiled, "For Chinese lessons. I grew up in China Town," he offered by way of explanation.

"I got a job in a Chinese restaurant," Simon told his mother – although he was sure that Dad already had told her. "George is going to help me learn some of the language."

"That's – ambitious," Annie commented. She wasn't sure how she felt about this particular man teaching her son Chinese.

"No more ambitious than learning anything else," Grace spoke; her voice was like liquid gold.

"This is quite an eclectic group," Eric finally said – he'd been trying to figure out how exactly to ask the obvious – _how_ had this group come together. They were more closely knit than most of his congregation – but they had different religious beliefs and in some cases, wildly different backgrounds. George Huang, FBI, Kip Smith taught high school drama and English – Geoffrey taught math at the same school. Juta Coronado was a widowed social worker, Laura and Brooke both taught at a school for the deaf – and had landed Simon a job there as a teaching assistant. Erik was a nurse and Samantha a library assistant – at the school for the deaf. Jerry was a cop. Zach hadn't quite mentioned what he did, though his hands were calloused, so it might involve manual labour – Grace said had mentioned that she also taught, as well as being some sort of priestess in her faith – she followed the monotheistic Tenctonese religion, rather than the more popular Selenists, who had a Goddess alongside their God. Brian owned a hobby shop – and his wife, it seemed after just a few moments of conversation, read tarot and 'shells' at her mother's occult shop. (Eric realized that the coloured beads around her neck weren't part of a fashion statement – they part of Santaria.) Put that together with the people he'd already met...and the puzzle seemed to have very few pieces that actually fit together.

As if reading his mind, Brooke spoke, "Samanta, Erik, Kip, Geoffrey, Juta and I all grew up together."

"Most of us were orphaned," said Geoffrey. "In one way or another," he glanced at Erik, who nodded. Geoffrey went on, "I remember living in the orphanage – before finding my real family. They'd line us up in front of prospective parents like in a Dicken's novel. I never knew my birth family at all."

"I lost my parents before I could remember them – illness took my sister from me after that," said Erik. "I remember being mad at her for leaving me. If we have a girl, we're calling her Ellie."

Samantha nodded. "My parents lost everything they had," she said. "Their jobs, their home – I think it was a fire – they don't really talk about it, even so many years later. But just when they thought they'd lost all there was to loose – they found a place to call home – and friends who helped them. And I found a whole new family – some closer than others," she smiled fondly at Erik. Who would have thought, growing up together, that one day they'd look at each other with fresh eyes, seeing not a childhood friend, but a man, a woman…

"I never knew my parents," said Laura, slowly. "Deaf and alone is scary – good people taught me not to fear the silence. A good man taught me how to love."

Jerry reached over and touched her shoulder. "Love is the one thing my life was lacking when Laura came into it. I had everything else – but really, I didn't have anything until I had her."

"Love is the one thing my home lacked, growing up," said Brian. "When I needed it – I found it. And I met an extraordinary woman," he smiled over at Tarra.

"I just got lucky – my mother didn't have much, but what she did have, she gave freely to those who needed it. In return our hearts have always been warm – and we've always had enough – just exactly enough."Tarra took his hand; he pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, affectionately. "We are lucky to have Eileen, too," she glanced over at her adopted daughter. "Who is in every way brilliant and wonderful."

Eileen blushed.

"And hopefully things will go smoothly and we'll be adopting her younger sister soon," Tarra said.

"I think that we will be able to make that happen very soon," said Juta. Then, "I lost my father when I was ten. My mother had no where to turn – no where to go. Until she found shelter and friends. The same friends who helped us find Eileen, when she needed a friend."

"My father has – problems," Eileen told the Camdens. "He wanted me to be perfect – and he would hit me when I wasn't. I know it wasn't really his fault. His father did the same thing to him – I'm going to break the cycle - and hopefully my sister will be able to, too."

"My mother and sisters died in the crash that brought us here," Grace told them, "My father had already been killed, just few days before, by an overzealous overseer. An aunt and uncle adopted me and brought me here – they were killed by extremists."

"I – hope you realize that not all Christians felt that way," Eric said, feeling a little awkward.

"Of course," Grace's smile was genuine. "There are bad seeds in every religion, Reverend. Even the most beautiful teachings can be perverted to suit the needs of a twisted soul."

The others nodded, as if agreeing to something more. They had all been children – but they all remembered Paracelsus – one of the founding members of the Tunnel community, a man who had become drunk on the idea of power…

"I was left all alone," Grace went on. "Until a group of human strangers opened their hearts and home to me."

"I grew up in China Town," said George. "It's almost as much another world to the rest of New York City as Tencton would be to humans. We had everything we needed for ourselves – and like Tarra's mother, my parents gave to those who needed." He smiled at Kip, "In return – we got so much more than we ever could have asked. Even if it sometimes came in the most unexpected places." He wasn't sure who had been more surprised, they or their friends…

"I don't remember my parents at all," said Kip. "I grew up on the streets and got into a lot of trouble on my own. I knew I was going to end up dead – until a nice old man taught me to play chess."

"I don't think Father would appreciate being called old," Geoffrey grinned.

Kip laughed, "So I bet you're going to tell him." He had a puckish grin.

"Father?" Annie inquired. A priest?

"My grandfather," said Caroline. "He was – and still is – a father to many children, not just my father. He was an orphan, too." She knew, in their way, they were telling too much – and yet to paint a picture with broad strokes, to allow Simon and his parents to come away with an idea that was close to the truth, but not too close – perhaps in the long run they would just accept the idea that their own perception gave them instead of digging further for a truth they could never be privy to…

"Since most of us grew up together," Brooke continued, "It just seemed natural to stay together. For some of us, this is the only family we've ever known. And there is always room at the table," she smiled kindly at Simon.

Simon kissed Caroline's forehead - it was almost nine thirty."You're sure you'll be ok to get home?"

"George is going to drive me – I'll be fine. Talk to you tomorrow?"

He nodded, squeezing her hands for just a moment longer. "I love you," Simon whispered.

"Love you too."

"I hope you don't need a psychiatrist to tell you that you have a great deal of opposition, Caroline," George said quietly, after they'd gotten into his car – a very comfortably equipped sedan.

She smiled, "I wouldn't need to be empathic to know that either."

"I sometimes forget just how much your father's child you really are."

"You sometimes forget where my father comes from."

"No. I've never forgotten the first time I saw him. Things like that leave a lasting impression."

"I guess they would," she mused. "I've never really thought about it."

"Why would you – you grew up with him. Where can I drop you off?"

"Where are you headed?"

"I should go back to the station – just because they haven't paged me doesn't mean that nothing has happened in the last two hours."

"I can take the bus from the station to the park."

"I don't mind dropping you off at the park."

"I know. I'd like to stop in and see Fin."

"Caroline – the station is hardly a place –"

"For a young lady?" She asked with a grin.

"Essentially. Unless there's something the matter?"

"There might be. I'd really rather just talk to Fin about it."

"Of course."

John Munch noticed them first – it was hard to miss Huang – his presence always brought such joy to the squad. However, the clearly Caucasian girl with long curly red-gold hair was about as out of place as one could get. She was dressed like an extra from the set ofLittle House– and looked like little Mary Sunshine herself – other than the mildly pensive way she gazed around, as if looking for someone.

"Detective Munch," Huang steered the girl in his direction. "Is your partner around?"

"He's running an interview with Benson."

"You collered someone?"

"Yeah – we were going to page you after we figured out if we were barking up the wrong tree not. Can I help you?" he looked at the girl. There was some familiarity between them – but it was distanced.

"I'd like to look in on them anyway," Huang said. "Caroline?"

"I'll be fine," she looked to the older man, "Is there a place I can sit and wait?"

"For?" Munch asked – Huang had already begun to make his way towards the back.

"Detective Tutuola."

Munch glanced at his watch. It was almost ten o'clock. "Shouldn't you be home in bed or something?"

She laughed, "Congratulations."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Hardly anyone realizes I'm young enough to have a curfew."

"Caroline?" Fin walked towards her. "What are you doin' here?"

"Sorry to – show up like this, especially here – but I didn't want anyone else to know I'd talked to you."

"What's up, Squirt?"

Caroline took a folded piece of paper out of her book bag. "I found this in my locker at school – it might just be a prank, it's not like my family history is all a big secret."

Fin read the note. He sat down and read it again. "You show this to your parents yet?"

"Do you think I'd be here if I had? You know what my father would do."

"I know what I wanna do."

"It could be a prank."

"And it could be real."

"Something the matter?" Munch queried. He was getting that left out of the loop feeling again.

"Yeah," Fin told him. "Something is."

"Uncle Fin, please – if Father sees this – "

_Uncle Fin?_ Munch wondered.

"Yeah. I know. What about Kate?"

"I can't go see her tonight - it's a school night and I can't stay out that late. I know I'm pushing it coming here – I made an excuse," she pulled a pair oblong, plain paper wrapped packages out of her bag, "Of these." One set of Winterfest candles for him and another for Diana.

Fin chuckled, "Shame on you."

"It was the only thing I could think of."

George Huang and Olivia Benson came back into the main room - Olivia smiled at Caroline. "Nice to see you again. Is everything all right?" It sure didn't look it.

"Hello Detective. I don't know if something's really wrong or not," Caroline told her. They'd met once before, a year or so ago.

Fin handed the note over to George. "Huang – can you keep something under your hat – and give me a quick opinion on this?"

"What is it?"

"I found it in my locker today," Caroline told him. "It's why I wanted to see Uncle Fin."

"Does this sound real to you?" Fin asked.

George Huang read it. He looked at Caroline. "I take it your parents don't know."

She shook her head.

"I was young when this first happened – so I only know the story. But given the attack on Judge Gray a couple of months ago – I would assume that this is real until you find out otherwise. The men who tried to kill your parents knew where to find your father. You're not the only person at risk."

"Would someone care to clue in the fly on the wall?" Munch queried.

"It's a death threat," Fin said simply. "Against Caroline and her family. She's Cathy Chandler's kid."

"I can take you home," George told her. "Unless –?" he gazed at Fin questioningly.

"I need to go see a lady about a bird. Munch – anyone asks, something personal came up. Caroline – listen to Huang. This is bigger than you. You gotta take it seriously until we find out otherwise. Got it?"

"Got it.Please be careful– and – call Uncle Elliot?"

Benson and Munch exchanged glances - death threat? "Shouldn't you get that to the lab?" Olivia asked.

"I'll take care of that," Huang told her. He'd take care of it after Fin had gotten the opinion of someone who could really tell them if it was real.

"I'll callElliot on my way to Kate's," Fin promisedCaroline. "I know he's as much a target as anyone else,"he scooped her up into his arms. "We got through this before – we'll get through it again."

"I just – I thought these guys were all gone," honest fear was gaining hold over her now. All day Caroline had been telling herself that it was a cruel hoax on the part of her classmates. It wouldn't be the first time they'd pulled a malicious prank – although none had involved the name Gabriel. She still wouldn't put it past them. "This has to be a trick, doesn't it?"

"Kate'll know."

"Come on," Huang put an arm over her shoulders and guided her out. "Let's get you home."

Craigen poked his head out of his office. "There something going on out here?"

Munch shrugged. What could he say?

"Taking some personal time," Fin told his boss.

"There is no such thing as personal time – we are in the middle of something," Craigen was not impressed.

"There's a chance we could land in the middle of something bigger," Fin told him. "I'm gonna go find out if that's true – or if it's just a prank," he glanced at Caroline.

Craigen frowned.

"Detective," Huang said, almost thoughtfully, "It wouldn't necessarily be untoward for the FBI to step into something like this. Assuming it turns out to be more than just miscreant humour." Huang guided Caroline out of the station house – his 'threat' had silenced the captain and allowed them to make their retreat...


	6. part six

**Chapter Sixteen:**

"Well," Annie looked around her son's room. "It's – cozy." She tried to sound optimistic. The room was perhaps ten feet by ten feet – there was a double bed wedged under the window, at the lowest point of the ceiling, where it was barely five feet from the floor – across it were draped several home made looking quilts and knit blankets. The drapes were ivory lace and the window faced the street – not a very cheerful view.

Across from the bed stood a beautifully carved bureau with four large drawers. The close was across the room – it was large enough for most of Simon's wardrobe. Beside the closet stood an antique roll top desk and chair; the radiator was next to that. It whistled loudly as it came on. The floor was hard wood and probably cold. The curtains swayed slightly with a draft.

"I know it's small," Simon told her – Dad was just standing there. "But I don't need that much space – I can set a computer up on the desk and do my homework – the closet is big. And I like my housemates."

"Well – what's not to like," Annie said, just a little sarcastically. Honestly, she did like Brooke - she just didn't want Brooke to be Simon's landlady. However, she didn't like certain other aspects of the household.

"You're upset about Kip and George."

"You could say that," Annie told her son. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't know. Look – it's not the kind of thing that comes up over coffee – and it's no big deal."

"No big deal?" She wanted to know.

"Look – Mom – I'm an adult. I'll be fine. You guys should think about heading back to Matt's – it's late."

"Why didn't you tell us of this sooner?" Vincent gazed down at his daughter, amazed. Yet - she seemed so frightened now - maybe he couldn't blame her for wanting to think that it wasn't real.

"You should have come straight home from school," Catherine told her.

"I know – I'm sorry – I just – I hoped it was a prank. They're always doing mean stuff to me at that school."

Catherine frowned, "You've never mentioned that before."

"I didn't want you to pull me out."

Knowing his field of expertise, both Catherine and Vincent looked to George wondering if _he_ could make sense of that.

"Why not?" George asked her, quietly.

"I decided to go – it was up to me to stick it out – or find some way out other than just quitting. That's the real reason I want to test out – I'm not over ambitious or bored – I just hate it there."

"Caroline," Catherine put her arms around her daughter, "I wish you would have told me sooner – there's nothing wrong with quitting for the right reasons."

"It's just what people are like – I'll have to learn to live with that, if I'm going to live Above."

"Not all people Above are mean, Caroline," George told her gently. "I know you know that."

"Most of them are."

Vincent and Catherine exchanged glances - all this time - she'd been miserable, and neither of them had seen it...

"Do you think that a thing such as this could be merely a prank?" Vincent queried, getting back to the immediate matter.

"Fin took the note to Kate," said George. "I don't know her – but word spreads. As I understand it, she has some extrasensory abilities that may allow her to determine if the note was genuine. If it is a prank, I'll make a personal visit to the home of the person who wrote it. I'm sure that having an FBI agent point out the various jail terms involved in threatening the life of a public figure will discourage further miscreant behavior."

"And if it's real?" Catherine asked.

"I'll do everything I can. There are ways to involve the agency without endangering the Tunnels."

"I don't know that Father would approve," said Vincent.

"I'm sure he won't. But my suspicion is that if this is real, than Gabriel was part of something larger than just a New York area crime syndicate. If it crosses state lines, it really is the Bureau's jurisdiction. The threat was - broad. I believe that 'start by cutting off your limbs' might be metaphorical rather than literal."

"You mean they're going to go after our friends," said Catherine.

George nodded. "The Helpers should be alerted - if it's real."

"You sound as if you believe that it is," Vincent observed.

"I tend to think in terms of worst case - what to do if it is real. We won't act until we find out for sure."

"What about Simon?" Caroline asked. "You don't think anyone could connect him to us? Do you?" she looked from one adult to another.

"It's hard to say," George said at length. "But if they were determined enough to send someone into the Tunnels, even once, sixteen years ago – it's hard to imagine that they wouldn't be determined enough to see that connection and use it. Writing a note – making a threat and announcing themselves – they want you to know that they're coming for you. They want your fear."

"Then they have it," Catherine told him.

"I have to warn him somehow – but –" Caroline bit her lip, suddenly wishing that Simon was on a plane back to California, instead of sleeping in a drafty old Victorian house. What would she tell him – what could she say? "I have to go to him."

"No." Vincent said. "We will wait until we know for sure that this is a real threat – Caroline, I know your heart yearns for this man, but you should not worry him needlessly."

Then – an all quiet was issued for the pipes – and Pascal tapped out a message. The note was real. Kate was sure of it.

**Chapter Seventeen:**

"If Father finds out, he'll skin you alive!" Claudia insisted.

"I have to go toSimon – I have to warn him."

"Brooke will tell him," said Jayne. "You have to stay here – we all do."

"Besides, it's the middle of the night," said Claudia. "Not only that – but it's the middle of the night and everyone is up, trying to figure out what to do."

"Which is exactly why I have to go now when no one will notice me gone."

"You mean when Father won't notice you," Jake appeared in the doorway. Charlie and William were with him.

"You're a fine one to start lecturing on doing what I'm told," Caroline snapped at her older brother.

"I didn't tell you not to go – I just pointed out that it isn't everyone you're trying to avoid, it's Father. And Grand Father."

"You five do what you think you have to," she started pulling on her boots, "But I'm going up."

"Not alone you aren't," Jake told her. He was already dressed to go out. "I'll come with you."

"No – I'll go," William told him.

"Will – you can't."

"Nearly the whole distance can be covered underground – and we can't go Above right now anyway – Caroline can't take the subway or a cab. I'll go – you should stay incase Father needs you."

"What if someone sees you?" Jayne asked.

"Father's been going Above since he was our age and no one's seen him."

"That's not quite true. Hi."

"Uncle Devin," they all said.

"I thought you might be staging a break out. William, there is no way you're going with your sister. I'll go. We'll take the tunnels the whole way. And the rest of you – if you value my life, you won't mention this to your folks."

They all agreed.

"I feel like this is all my fault," Caroline confided in her uncle – they were almost there.

"Why? Because you didn't show anyone the note sooner?"

"That and – Simon wouldn't be here if it weren't for me."

Devin chuckled, "I don't think he'd rather be anywhere else."

"He doesn't know what this means – what my life is – where I come from. How can he?"

"Give it time – I was seeing Robbie for a long time before she met my family."

"I'm just glad that you and Robbie and Sam haven't left yet. I hope Jonathon and Lyla will be all right." They'd left yesterday afternoon – they should be fine – she didn't think that anyone could – or would – get to them.

"It's going to be fine, Caroline – we got through this once before. We'll get through it again."

"It's just – the way he wrote the note – whoever he is," she felt exasperated with not knowing who exactly it was that threatened them. " 'Cut off all your extremities,' – it just sounds so gruesome."

"George thinks it might be metaphorical. Father has sent word to all the Helpers to be extra cautious – and that they're all welcome to seek refuge in the Tunnels until this passes."

"What difference will that make – Gabriel sent someone into the Tunnels before – if this person knew him, they probably know about us. How is _here_ any safer than up there?"

"We have more defenses here. Caroline – you can't let this guy win. You can't give up hope or start being afraid of every little movement – if you do, they win."

"I feel like they've already won. Mother is scared – I'm terrified. I know Jayne and Claudia are scared too – and even if the boys are pretending not to be, they are."

"We're all scared. But we all have hope, too. Vincent and Kate protected us once before – they'll do it again. And they aren't alone – you have me and Elliot and Fin – and George Huang. He's a federal agent, they don't mess around. The feds could find the guy who wrote the note before he gets anywhere near the Tunnels."

"I guess when you put it that way, it's not quite so scary."

Devin went up top first – despite Caroline's insistence that her eyes and ears were better than his. Once he gave the all clear, she climbed up behind him – Brooke's house was just a few blocks.

George opened the door. "Caroline – what are you doing here?" He looked questioningly to Devin, even as he moved aside to let them in.

"Simon?" She asked – he was awake – it was two in the morning. He looked stricken – although his face brightened as soon as she walked in the door. He rose to greet her, practically falling into her arms. "What's wrong?" Caroline wrapped her arms around him.

"Simon's sister in law Sarah is missing," said George. "We were just – discussing 'calling' you," he looked to Caroline.

"My father doesn't know I'm here – I – oh, Simon, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault," she searched his face for some hint that maybe he didn't hate her…

"No it's not," he told her, emphatically. "George told me about this Gabriel guy – about how he had someone try to kill your parents."

"I should have said something sooner – shown someone the note – maybe – maybe Sarah would be ok."

"There is no way to have predicted that someone would go this far," said George, sensibly. "Even looking over what little there is – and talking to the people who were there the first time. No one could have known that Sarah might be a target."

Simon's gaze never left her face, "Caroline, you can't blame yourself for this – George is right, even if you'd said something earlier, there's no way anyone would have thought Sarah would be in danger. You were threatened, not her."

"But – maybe someone would have thought to warn her – tell her to be careful."

"I don't know that it would have mattered," Devin said. "Remember what we were talking about on the way here."

Simon just held her tight, "No one is blaming you – especially not me."

"You're parents –?"

"Fin and Diana went over to Matt's to be with them," Simon told her. "If they hear anything, they'll let us know. For now we're just sitting tight - and praying."

"How long has she been missing?"Caroline wanted to know.

Brooke came in carrying mugs of steaming, peppermint tea. "Matt called here looking for Sarah after her work called, because she didn't show up for her shift. That was just an hour ago."

"And there are still other possibilities," Kipper followed her into the living room with the honey a couple more mugs; he handed one to George.

"Kip's right," George agreed.

"I – I still feel like this is all my fault. I should have said something – done something."

"Caroline, there's nothing you could do," Simon told her. "You told me that your classmates have done horrible things before – there was no reason to think that this might not have been just another mean prank," he handed his mug of tea to her, and guided Caroline to the sofa to sit down.

"What about everyone else?" she asked.

"Erik and Geoffrey are taking Samantha and the children Below," said Brooke.

"But what about you – you can't stay here – what if this person comes after you, too?" Caroline demanded.

"Caroline," Brooke sat down on the other side, sliding one arm around Caroline's shoulders. "This is our home. Juta is going to stay with Laura and Jerry – their children are headed Below, so is Eileen, where they'll be safe and cared for until this storm passes. But in the mean time, we are not going to run and hide, just because some madman threatens the sanctity of our way of life. Geoffrey, Kip, Erik – me – we've all stood sentry duty. We all know how to defend ourselves. We are all vigilant – we have George – we have Jerry – we have Fin and Diana – we have your father. We have Kate. We will be fine."

"But they can't be everywhere at once."

"No one can – oh, sweetheart – we'll get through this. You have to believe that. You have to believe the way we believed when everyone feared that your mother was dead – even when the adults gave up, we still believed that Vincent would find her. And we were right. Now you have to believe – and have _faith_ in what you believe," she said, remembering the line that Kate had used, so frequently back then. Brookeover to Simon, "I'm sorry you've come into our lives just as this storm is breaking – but if anyone can find Sarah – we will. I can promise you that a whole community of people will look for her and not give up until we find her. We're not the sort of folks to ever give up on anything." She brushed the tears from Caroline's cheeks, "You should go home – so that your mother and father won't worry. Word has gone out – we know what to do."

"But everyone was looking for my mother and no one found her."

"But there are more 'everyones' now," George reminded her. "Brooke is right – you should go back to your parents. They've got to be worried by now. You know your father won't remain unaware of your absence for long."

Carolinegazed at Simon – there was no anger in his expression – there was fear. Confusion – he didn't understand half of what was being said. But he didn't look at her with resentment - only compassion. Love. He wanted her to be safe. "I'm sorry this happened," she said, despite the knowledge that he didn't blame her.

"It isn't your fault some maniac has it in for your family. Don't you even think this changes anything between us."

"Simon – you know that she could be dead already."

"I know," he wrapped his arms around her – it was more for his benefit this time than hers. Matt was sick with worry – sick and angry. Not at Caroline, except for not having said something sooner – it was just the fear talking, according to George. When people are afraid they get angry… Simon hadn't talked to his parents – but he could imagine how they were feeling. They'd probably called Rabbi and Mrs. Glass by now – his heart went out to them - so far away and nothing they could do, not even be with Matt. "I'm goingto go be with my family – you should go be with yours. They've got to be worried. Is there some way I can get in touch with you later?"

"I – I'll find a way. You're not going alone, are you?"

"We'll take him," Devin decided, then.

"Devin –?" Brooke looked at him, questioningly.

"He's become a part of this unwittingly," said Devin. "I know what Father will say – and I'm sure Vincent will say about the same. But I think it's safe to assume that we can trust some measure of our secretsto someone who's suddenly had the greatest pain of our past thrust upon he and his family."

Brooke nodded, "I'll get on the pipes – let Vincent know that Caroline is safe."

"Here," George handed Devin his 'back up' revolver.

"I – "

"I know you know how to use it," George told him. "And I know how – the community – feels about guns. But if someone was able to go Below before – you should at least be armed."

"All right," Devin took it, reluctantly. He could use a gun – and was a reasonable shot. But the thought of taking one Below, even for self defense – George was right, his prejudice against firearms ran deep.

"Call my cell when you get to Matt and Sarah's," said George. "Fin has the number."

"Safe journey," Kip clasped Devin's arm.

**Chapter Eighteen:**

"You're kidding, right?" Simon, who had remained silent since leaving the house, balked when Devin stopped before the manhole cover – the alley was dark, but by now he was used to associating Caroline with darkness and mystery. Still – the sewers? And how would they get it up anyway – those things weighed a ton.

Caroline bent and lifted it, easily. "Go on – Uncle Devin, stop arguing. I can see fifty paces better than you."

Resigned, Devin dropped down – Simon, still confused, followed – then Caroline.

"Ok, Miss Sharp-Senses – hear anything unusual?" Devin asked.

Caroline cocked her head. "Rats."

Simon made a face. "What exactly are we doing here?"

"Taking the safest route. Underground."

"Aren't there alligators down here or something?"

"There was once," she told him. "Jamie and myfather killed it."

Simon said nothing.

Devin led the way – fifty feet into the sewer, he arrived at the false panel – pressing the correct place, revealed the door.

"What the –?"

Caroline took his hand, "Remember when I said I wasn't a part of your world. I wasn't talking about economic class or social status. And when I said I had secrets – I – they're pretty big ones." A shift in the air current brought a scent to her nose – maybe if she was her father, she would have reacted in time…Simon hissed in pain as the bullet pierced his leg.

It took of allCaroline's wit andstrength not to scream when he collapsed, blood flowing in a red river from the wound. She gazed into the darkness – but there didn't seem to be anyone around – still, she knew they were still there… even if she could no longer smell anything but the blood…

Devin was already pulling off his belt, kneeling over Simon, "It went through – it's clean – but he's going to need a doctor." As he spoke, he wrapped his belt tightly above the wound. "Simon – Simon, stay with us – you're going into shock."

"Is that what it is?" Simon asked – the world was spinning, darkness closing in on him. "I don't think I've ever passed out before."

"Get him to Matt's," Caroline told Devin.

"What are you going to do?"

"Whatever I have to."

"Caroline – you're sixteen years old!"

"I can see in the dark and I can snap a man's neck with my bare hands," she told him. "And if that's what I have to do, that's what I'll do."

"This isn't the way –"

"_Devin_," she hissed, "This isn't the time to argue with me or think about what my father would and would not do. I can do things you just can't. Now go – _please_."

With a heavy sigh,Devin lifted Simon to his feet, "Some days you're just a little too much like Vincent."

Caroline watched them go – she could feel the eyes watching her – they watched Devin and Simon go – but she stood between their egress and their assailant – the panel closed behind them, securing their flight, at least for now… she wondered if the assassin had known about this entrance – or if they had just shown it to them… it might not matter, Gabriel had known where to send an assassin sixteen years ago… Adrenaline pumping, Caroline moved towards the unseen eyes – and then she became aware that they were gone. Retreated – not from her. This person didn't fear her – they were tormenting her, taunting her. Devin was right – if she became afraid of her own shadow, they'd win – and it was clear that the assassin wanted more than just to kill her family – he wanted them to suffer…if the shooter had wanted Simon dead, Caroline was sure that he would be. Exercising extreme caution, Caroline caught up with Devin and Simon...she followed behind, doing the best she could to cover their trail...

"Oh my God," Annie Camden gasped when Devin Wells brought Simon into Matt's apartment.

"What happened?" Fin wanted to know. The dark look on Caroline's face told him something had happened – but there was almost no blood on her dress – so there couldn't have been much of a conflict.

While Devin outlined what had happened, Matt got Simon into the bathroom. He came out a few minutes later, "We have to get him to the hospital – the wound is clean, but he's loosing blood. He needs medical attention."

"Call Dr. Alcott," Caroline said. "I don't want anyone but him or Joel working on Simon."

"Caroline," Fin said, "It's ok, he's not you, he can see a regular doc."

She shook her head, "I know – but I don't want a lot of questions right now."

"What kind of questions?" Eric Camden wanted to know.

"The kinds of questions we can't answer," Diana replied.

"Just – tell me where to go," said Eric. He looked to his wife – she was sick with fear – they all were – but now this? "Annie – it's ok – you stay here with Matt."

"I'll take you," Diana grabbed up her jacket.

"I don't understand, what's going on?" Annie asked, lost. It was all so unreal.

"Come on," Diana called to Eric – Simon was wrapped in a blanket, stumbling –he had gone completely pale. Eric hefted his son – despite Annie's warnings to be careful of his heart.

"Let me," Caroline said.

"Caroline –"

"She's stronger than she looks," Fin told him. _And she needs to do this_, he thought – the memory of his last partner going down – taking a bullet meant for him – yeah, she needed to do this…

"I'll stay with him," Diana assured Caroline, after they'd gotten Simon into Fin's car. "And I'll call when we get there. You have to go home. Fatherand Vincent are bothfit to be tied."

"I know. I know I have to tellthem what happened," Caroline said – she looked at Eric Camden, her heart yearning to tell him everything – but she couldn't tell him why his son had been shot, why his other son's wife was missing...she couldn't tell him all the secrets of her life. He would never understand...

"Caroline," Eric came to stand next to her, "I – thank you – whatever happened, you got Simon safely here. I want you to know – how much that means to me."

"Thank you – hearing that means a lot to me – you two go – I'll be fine," she headed back up to Matt's apartment – a flicker of black on black caught her attention – she hastened her steps.

"Open the balcony window," Caroline told Matt as she came in the door.

"What?"

"I saw Kate – she has Sarah. I'm not going home," Caroline told Fin, as he opened his mouth.

"I figured that out when you got here," Fin told her.

"Who's Kate," Annie asked, "What do you mean she has Sarah."

Matt – moving almost on automatic, afraid to hope, was opening the window, then, as Caroline directed, the screen – a huge black bird dove in the opening. It landed on Caroline's shoulder.

"You're welcome," she told it. The bird ruffled his feathers.

Moments later, Kate, carrying Sarah in a fireman's hold, came in through the balcony window; she was wearing her 'working face' of ghastly pale, accented by dark kohl around her eyes and red-black lipstick. The long leather trench swirled around her; she put Sarah on the couch – Matt was at her side, almost before her head touched the pillow. "She's alive," Kate said simply – her tone was flat. "I found her on a rooftop, left out where anyone could see."

"Anyone, or anyone?" Fin queried.

"Me. Vincent. Maybe even you or Diana, if you were looking hard enough."

"What – what happened?" Annie was having a hard time wrapping her mind around the girl in black with the death-mask face. The ease with which she had carried Sarah – and how had she gotten to the balcony…?

Kate chose to ignore the half-hysterical woman – she turned to Fin. "Lethal dose of morphine."

"Le-lethal?" Matt stammered – Sarah's breathing was so weak – she was cold – he'd started pulling a blanket over her – he thought it was exposure – morphine?

"God damn – sorry," Fin gave Annie Camden half an apology. "It was a message. A message someone meant for us to find."

"What – I don't understand," Annie finally forced her breathing to slow down. Lethal dose – but she'd said Sarah was alive – and why bring her here – wouldn't she need a doctor right away… what could they do? "Message?" She managed to get the word out.

"My mother was injected with a lethal dose of morphine," Caroline explained. "The man who did it – he had – friends. One of them is coming after my family again – attacking people we care for – people you care for. They want us to know it's revenge for what happened to Gabriel." She had always thought that Kate had visited him with a fitting punishment. Death would have been far too kind - he was a truly evil man.

"But - I don't understand," Annie said. "Why?"

"Some people are just like that, Mrs. Camden," Devin told her. He'd already started pilaging around the kitchen for tea - Matt and Simon's mother wasn't going to be able to take much more tonight.

"Your wife probably suffering from some exposure," Kate told Matt, who was still looking lost - and afraid. She really couldn't fault him for either."You should try to keep her warm – I don't think she'd been there long when I found her. I'm guessing the man or woman who did this doesn't care whether she's found dead or alive, just as long as the message gets through."

"You said lethal – you said a_ lethal_ dose," Matt stammered, holding Sarah to him, afraid to let her go. Lethal dose…_lethal_… everyone was clammouring on about a message – and his wife was going to die…

"It's gone," Kate told him. "She's going to be fine."

"Gone – how?" Gone – how could it be gone…morphine, injected into the blood didn't just 'go'…

"Kate is our personal guardian angel," Fin put his hands on her shoulders, gently. Of them all, he was the only one who had known her before - even then, she'd been on a slab when they 'met.' But he was the only one who had seen her as a murdered fourteen year old girl - he was the only one who had experienced her fear as he looked over the crime scene. He was the only one who saw her as someone who not only protected those around her, but as someone who desperately needed protection - usually from herself. He gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze - reminding her that she was truly loved. Reminding her not to let the fury inside get the best of her.

Devin returned with the tea - he pressed the mug into Annie Camden's hands, urging her to drink. He only wished that Matt had something in the house he could spike it with - he knew he needed a drink and was pretty sure that Annie and Matt could both benifit from the numbing effects of a good shot of whisky as well.

"Matt?" Sarah whispered, then– her eyes fluttered open, "Matt!"

Matt felt his heart jump when he heard her voice – when he saw her eyes – her pupils looked normal – colour was returning to her cheeks. He wasn't even aware that he was crying…"It's ok – you're ok. You're ok – you're home. You're safe." _You're alive…_

Kate used that moment of distraction to slipinto the night...they didn't need her here anymore...she had no real place amonghst the living. Caroline closed the window behind her - she understood the feeling of not belonging.

"I never saw his face – or heard his voice – just – hands grabbing me from behind,"Sarah said; Devin had given her tea - and she'd told him where shekept the brandy. "I – it was cloraphorm, I think. I passed out – when I woke up I was on a rooftop somewhere in the city – someone – in black – hovering over me – sticking a needle in my arm – and then I passed out again – and – I saw – I don't know what I saw – but it pulled me out of the darkness – it had – wings. Big – black wings – " she looked around the room - expectantly.

"Her name'sKate," Fin said. "She brought you home."

"Will you tell her thank you for me?" Matt looked to both Fin and Caroline - he didn't have to understand what was happening to be grateful. He didn't care who or what Kate was - all that mattered was that the worsefour hours of his life were over and Sarah was safe and sound - her colour had returned, her breathing and heart beat were strong - she was alive. Nothing else mattered as long as Sarah was alive.

Caroline put her hand on Matt's shoulder, "She knows."

"Who is she?" Annie still wanted to know.

"Just what you saw," said Fin.

"What Idon't understand," Devin finally put voice to the one thing that had been niggling at his brain the most relentlessly, "Is why has someone waited for sixteen years to exact their revenge?"

"The only explanation I can come up with," said Fin, "Is that whoever it is wasn't old enough or well trained enough before now."

"Someone who was a child when happened?" Caroline mused. "But – you don't mean to suggest …"

"We've always assumed that Gabriel didn't have any children of his own," said Devin, thoughtfully. "What if we've been wrong this whole time?Gabriel only said that Jake would be his heir – he neversaidhe didn't haveoffspring."

"Lotsa crime families operate on the old world principle that only a son can inherit," Fin added. "So what if after Cathy gave birth to Jake – Gabriel saw it was a boy and decided he'd hit the jack-pot. Not only Vincent's child to mold to his sick world view – but a boy, to inherit his legacy."

Annie finally got up the nerve to interrupt. "What is going on – and what does any of this have to do with _my_ family?"

Caroline gazed at her, deeply – thoughtfully – for a long moment. "Mrs. Camden, I am truly sorry. I never, ever thought that anything like this would ever happen. We allbelieved that what happened was all a part of the past – Gabriel is locked up in a mental institution – his mind has been - shattered. He will never be whole or well again. He wasn't even well enough to stand trial for killed a lot of people - for kidnapping and trying to kill my mother. Webelieved that that was it - it was over when his mind snapped. We thought we were truly free of him - we thought we were safe. We were wrong."


	7. part seven

After several false starts, here it is at last! I was trying to force the next couple of chapters into something that wasn't working – so here you have it, something that (for me) works – even if it meanders a bit from the _Seventh Heaven_ path a bit more than I had originally intended this story to go… it **does** come back on track again at the end of the next part- but there was really just no way to write this without spending some time with other characters - every time I tried, I felt like the story just came up short... so although in one respect, I apologize for the meander, I'm pleased with the way it's turned out. And we're still a ways from 'the end,' because sometimes one crisis only serves to trigger a deeper problem...

**Chapter Nineteen**

Caroline turned away so that not even Annie Camden would see her tears; she strode to the balcony window and opened it window wide, letting in the chill of the night air.

"Squirt – what d'you think you're doin'?"

"I am my father's daughter." She gave them a last glance – before jumping. Caroline only barely heard Mrs. Camden's sharp intake of air – Fin's curse – Devin's was softer, but she heard him. _Shit. Damn. What the hell are we going to tell Vincent…?_ Caroline hit the pavement – barely two floors down – and ran.

"What do you mean 'we' – I'm not the one who brought her up top." Fin glared at Devin.

"If I didn't bring her, Will was going to."

"Damn," Fin cursed again, slamming the window shut. She was long gone.

"What did she mean," Matt inquired softly, "That she is her father's daughter?"

"Less you know the better right now," Fin told him.

"Where're _you _headed?" Devin wanted to know – Fin was putting on his coat.

"Where do you think?"

"You'll never catch her – trust me, Fin – you'll never catch her."

"She's just _fifteen!"_

_"And I know what her father was like at that age!" _Devin snapped. He took a breath. "Just – let her go. He'll find her." _I'm just worried about the state she's going to be in when he does_…he thought. That period of darkness that had haunted Vincent so – he'd been just a little younger than she was now… Jake had gone through it, just a couple of years ago – not so bad – but it had happened. And Devin could see that Fin was thinking the same thing, having witnessed Jake's tumult… Devin still had to wonder – would Caroline's be as bad as Vincent's had been…? There had come a point where Father had had to restrain Vincent, physically – a time where both had been exhausted nearly to the point of death… "We can get through this," Devin said – as much to soothe his own fears as for Fin's benefit, "We just have to stick together."

Fin held out his hand – Devin clasped it, tightly. "Together," Fin agreed.

The phone rang.

>

Sights – sounds – bright lights – red and blue – sirens – it passed by in a blur as she ran – faster and further than her legs had ever carried her. Above the moon shown down – stars blazed against Heaven's height… Her heartbeat pounded in her ears – she could feel the rush of blood through her veins – every scent in the city assaulted her nose – every noise hammered at her ears… The sound of the roar coming from her own throat seemed to come from afar – it was like she was outside, looking in – only she barely recognized the thing that she saw, standing in her skin. It was a thing of feral rage – of instinct and emotion…

Up a fire escape – over an alley – across the city, or so it seemed… until Caroline came to rest on the rooftop of Elliot's apartment building. A shape sat hunkered in the darkness.

She bristled, snarling at it, even though she knew this thing's scent.

"Knew you'd come here," Jake stood up cautiously. His sister looked like a thing out of a nightmare – her form hadn't changed, she was still the petite, hour hour glass-shaped girl he used to pick on – but her demeanor was like – like their father's.

Caroline glared at him – thoughts refused to form. She knew who he was – but through the rage bubbling up from her deepest depths, everything was a threat – even her dearest friends… she snarled – then the wind shifted. Her senses, sharpened to a razor's edge by the darkness – she felt it. Something was wrong. "How did you know I would be here?"

"It's where I needed to be too," Jake told her.

**_"Where is Father?"_** Caroline demanded.

>

"Kyle – Kyle, wake up!" Amy shook his arm violently. She already had Nicole up and dressed – and Lauren was getting dressed.

"What – what is it?" he looked at the clock. Two hours. He'd gotten barely two hours. "Amy?" she looked frantic.

Right after Caroline pulled her stunt at Simon's brother's place, the phone rang – the voice on the line said only two words. _Elliot Burch._

"You and Nicole have to go somewhere – safe."

"Aim – what's going on – first Fin calls – and now – _holy mother of god,_" Kyle sat straight up in bed.

"I am sorry – I do not mean to alarm you," Vincent said softly. "Caroline is here – she was drawn by – an invisible calling. Amy – you and your family must leave – now. Please."

"Am I dreaming this?"

"No," Amy told him, "Meet Vincent – the best man at our wedding."

"I suddenly see why no one was invited…what's going on?"

"I'll explain on the way."

"Where?"

Good question, she looked up at Vincent.

"Father will have to – accept. Lauren," he said as the youngster came up. "Ready?"

"I think so – do you really think – I mean – no one's gonna come here, are they?"

He knelt down to be at her level – and the bullet hit the place where he'd been standing.

Lauren dove into Vincent's chest – Amy screamed – so did Nicole – Kyle rolled out of bed and hit the floor.

"Amy – Lauren!" Elliot ran into the room. A second shot crashed through the remains of the plate glass window.

Vincent pulled him down and pulled the three of them out of sight of the window, keeping Lauren fully sheltered with his body; she was shaking.

Amy made her way to them, still holding a petrified Nicole to her chest.

Kyle managed to pull his pants on over his boxers and grabbed a shirt. "Would someone mind telling me what's going on?"

"I'm afraid it's one of those long stories," Amy told him. Then she realized that there was blood… "Vincent – Elliot? **_Elliot!"_**

Kyle saw the blood too – it was soaked into Vincent's chest – but he wasn't the one who was bleeding… it was Elliot… his shirt was soaked through with blood. Bracing himself, Kyle sought out a pulse.

"He is still alive," Vincent said, softly. His gaze fell to Amy – to Lauren who clung to him – he held her too, as tightly as he could, wishing that it was enough – their fear was as great as his own… He had felt Elliot's sharpening apprehension – he'd come as quickly as he could – Jake had followed, saying that it was Caroline he was tracking… and here they wall were… he only prayed that they had not arrived too late… the strength was draining from Elliot's body with each passing heart beat.

Casting an uncertain glance towards his cousin, Kyle nodded – yeah, he was alive, but for how long? At the rate he was loosing blood, it wouldn't be long… Amy was hysterical, begging Elliot not to die – begging him not to let Elliot die – Lauren was sobbing. And in the middle of it all was a thing out of a nightmare, only Lauren was clinging to him as if he was her last hope in all the world… Vincent – wasn't Vincent the name of Catherine's husband…

Kyle pulled off his shirt, deciding to leave the thinking for later. "Lay him down – if I can find the wound – " it was hard to say more – Elliot had been hit in the shoulder – another couple of inches up and he'd be dead already. Kyle pushed his shirt into the bleeding, trying to put enough pressure on it to at least slow the blood loss. "We have to get him to a hospital." _Or he's not going to make it_ – he didn't say the last out loud – he was sure Amy already knew that much…

"That may be easier said than done," said a new voice. Kate stepped out from the shadows – and her gaze fell on Elliot… pain burned in her soul. "The power's been cut," she told them.

Kyle looked up – the kid was about fourteen – and he recognized her from New Year's – she'd been more dressed up then – but yeah, it was the same kid…and there was still something about her – maybe it was the way she stood up, fearlessly, as the rest of the huddled against the wall… or maybe it was the look in those dark eyes… "Anybody got a cell phone handy?" Kyle asked.

"My purse – in the other room," Amy managed to find her voice through the sobs. "But – who do I call?"

"911," Kyle suggested, acerbically.

"Call Fin," said Kate.

"How do we get out of here?" Lauren asked.

"Do you trust me?" Kate asked her.

She nodded.

"Than trust me to get you out of here…"

>

The assassin, a tall lithe figure dressed head to foot in black, pulled the crossbow bolt from her calf. If not for the distraction of the pain, at just the wrong moment, she would have nailed Burch through the left eye, a perfect, clean kill shot. As it was, he was likely to bleed out on his own bedroom room floor. Not clean – but the end result would be the same. Slowly, she turned in the direction from which she'd been shot. "So. They send a woman with a bow and arrow and two children? Is this Vincent so afraid of me that he will not face me himself?" It seemed hardly worth the bullets necessary to kill them.

Jamie smirked, "I dunno – it seemed to have slowed you down plenty." She'd been waiting to escort Amy and Elliot Below when she spotted the assassin on the roof of a neighbouring building and made her way up. Caroline and Jake had taken a more direct route over…

"Elliot Burch is still a dead man," the assassin sneered.

Caroline snarled – the pain of that loss fueled her rage – she broke free of Jake's attempt to restrain her and she lunged forward towards the woman who had shot Simon - the woman who had killed Elliot... and she howled in pain as a knife sliced her arm open – instinct took over, her hands became weapons…possessed of her father's genetics, her nails had always been strong, now they raked deeply into human flesh... The sheer brutality of her attack forced the mask off the woman under her – and Caroline realized that the woman behind the mask was hardly older than she was…

"That's right," the assassin said, seeing the shock in the girl's eyes. "I was three when your father killed mine."

"He isn't dead," Caroline told her.

"He might as well be," the assassin threw her off – she snatched a small pistol from it's hiding place in her boot and held it out – she was barely inches from Vincent's daughter's face.

They were the only two who didn't look up as Vincent leaped the expanse of alleyway to land on the roof, roaring as he flew through the air. He snarled, but still the assassin did not waver – he could get to her – but not before he shot Caroline – and it would be a perfect shot.

"Stale mate," the assassin said, without looking up. "Or should I say check mate – because even if I die – your best friend and daughter go with me."

**_"NO!" _**Father and son roared as one… Jake watched helplessly as his sister just sat there – there was nowhere for her to go – she knew it – he knew it – their father knew it… watching from the shadows, Janie knew it too…

The assassin smiled as she tightened her grip – blackness – feathers – a big black bird dove at her – the gun went off – Caroline howled in rage as the bullet pierced her shoulder.

Jamie lifted her crossbow and loosed the bolt – it hit the woman squarely in the chest. She fell backwards, lifeless.

Jake ran to his sister – relief flooding him – he stopped short of her – but the shock of the attack – and no doubt the pain of her wounds – had taken the edge from her anger. He knelt and held her – their father held them both.

"Elliot?" Caroline asked, fearfully… the woman had said that he was dead…

"It is not good," Vincent told her honestly. "There is a very good chance that he will not live."

_"No!"_ Caroline buried her face in her father's chest, sobbing.

>

"Please – let her come with us," Amy begged to the ambulance driver. "Kyle – you can take Lauren, can't you?"

He just nodded – nothing was making any sense tonight.

"Amy, I don't know if there's anything I can do for this," Kate told her, helplessly.

"You can hold my hand," Amy told her, "You can stay with me." They were helped into the back of the ambulance with Elliot – his vitals were down to next to nothing.

Kate held Amy – and Amy held Elliot – and when they got him into surgery, Kate and Amy both held Lauren, while Kyle watched – confused – exhausted – and no longer even trying to make any sense of it… Nicole fell asleep in his lap…

>

_"I have to know what's happened Up Top!"_ Caroline protested with a growl. Grand Father had stitched her arm and was seeing to the bullet wound – really, there was little to be done, but allow her to heal on her own. To that end, Mary appeared at the chamber door with tea – even from where Caroline sat, on the other side of the room, the smell was repulsive. Her stomach heaved – but nothing came up. She snarled in the old woman's direction.

Mary ignored the child. She'd lived through Vincent's darkness – twice – and through Jake's. No doubt, Lord willing, she'd live through Claudia's and Charles' and William's and Jayne's as well...

"Caroline?" Jacob asked, concerned.

"I'm ok – it's just – the smell…I'm sorry Mary – I didn't mean to – snap…"

Mary just smiled.

"The smell?" Jacob asked.

"The tea – it – what's in it?" She recoiled further as Mary handed her the mug.

"Nothing more what I usually put in it, dear."

Caroline looked to her parents.

"I smell nothing out of the ordinary," said Vincent.

Unconvinced, Caroline looked to Jake; he shook his head.

"I can't – drink that, I'm sorry," she put the mug down on the table next to her. "I – oh," she heaved again. "Sorry, Grand Father," she apologized for moving around so much. Some of the anger was finally ebbing – if only everything didn't smell so – sharp. All she could focus on was – the scents around her…

Jacob cast a concerned glance in Vincent's direction.

"Caroline – you must rest now," Vincent put his hand gently on his daughter's good shoulder. "When I went through my darkness, my senses were askew – much as yours are now. You cannot go Above in this condition."

"He's right," Catherine told her. "I'm on my way to the hospital – I'll be there for both of us. _All_ of us," she took her husband's hand.

"Listen to them," Jake said softly. "C'm on, sis – I'm even agreeing that you need to stay put."

Caroline almost laughed. "Mother– will you – I mean – find out how Simon's doing, too? I'm so scared for Uncle Elliot, so very scared – if he – but – I – Simon's wound isn't life threatening, not like Elliot's, but Simon was still hurt…"

"Shhh," Catherine said softly, leaning over to kiss her daughter's forehead. "Of course I will check in on Simon for you." She and Vincent exchanged glances – he'd told her how bad it really was, how he'd felt the life draining from Elliot even as Jamie saw them loading him into an ambulance – Vincent held her briefly – and then let her go… Catherine was almost out of the main hub when Grace caught her.

"For Elliot," she said, handing Catherine one of her potted plants. No one knew how Grace managed to grow them – Tenctonese magic some said…

Catherine gave her a quizzical look.

"We believe that the life force of nahooma – souls – gives strength to those who are sick or wounded. I hope that this will help him."

"Thank you," Catherine brushed her knuckles lightly across her friend's temple.

>

Joe met her at the park entrance. "No word," he said to her fearful expression, "I just didn't want you to drive alone."

"Thank you," Catherine held him for a moment, realizing that she was shaking… "I can't believe she almost won," she whispered.

"But she didn't," Joe assured her. He held Cathy for a long moment, "She didn't. Jamie's a damn good shot."

Catherine laughed, realizing that she was crying, too.

Still holding her, Joe led the way to where he'd parked his car – completely illegally. "Hey – it's gonna be ok. Elliot's tough. He's not going no where."

Catherine hooked her hair behind her ears and tried to tell herself that Joe was right… Elliot wouldn't leave them now – not when he'd just found happiness – he wouldn't leave Amy – that just wouldn't be fair.

>

Eric Camden poked his head into the surgical waiting room (Annie was still with Matt and Sarah.) Diana and Fin were there – most of the odd assortment he'd met at dinner were present as well (Brooke, Geoffrey, Samantha, Erik, Kip – George.) A blond man slept on the sofa, a little girl snuggled up next to him – he looked exhausted, even in sleep… And Amy and Lauren and a girl he hadn't met; she was about fourteen, with long dark hair, a black turtleneck and black jeans – he noticed her pendant… but said nothing. It was the most unusual depiction of an angel he'd ever seen… and in some ways, the most accurate… Across the room, Devin was pacing while Sam Hill looked on – Robbie smiled at Eric as he came in.

"Can I – am I intruding?" he asked.

Amy looked up, teary eyed, "No – please – feel free. This is my daughter, Lauren – and this is Kate," she introduced them. "This is – Simon Camden's father," she realized she was about to break down again and felt Diana's warm arms around her.

"Shhh, honey – it'll be ok."

"How's Simon?" Lauren asked his father.

"He's ok, thank you – they just got him into a room," he cast Diana a warm smile; she'd sat with him until she got the call that Elliot Burch was on his way in – and that it didn't lookgood. Eric sat down, "How is Elliot?"

"He lost a lot of blood," Diana explained – Amy was in no condition. "His vitals were down to next to nothing when they got here – but – his heart was still beating and he was still breathing on his own."

"It's just not fair," Amy wept. "We just got married!"

"Life doesn't always seem fair," Eric began.

"Please – Reverend – I don't mean to be rude – but – I don't think I can take a sermon right now."

"How about a cup of coffee?" he smiled.

"I'm sorry – I don't mean to be rude," she felt herself collapsing against Diana's warm support.

Fin came to sit with her – he took Amy's hands into his, "Amy – Elliot told me something once," he glanced up at Kate – she joined him – so did Lauren. "He said it's ok to believe in miracles. It's ok to believe that he's gonna be all right."

"He's going to be ok, Mom," Lauren said – although it was as much for her own benefit as her mother's. "He _has_ to be ok."

"Here," Eric Camden pressed the styrophome cup into Amy's hands.

"Thank you," she said – although she just looked at it – shock – some rational part of her brain told her that she was just in shock. A couple of hours ago she'd been asleep in bed with the man she loved and now… now he was in surgery fighting for his life… it just wasn't fair! She felt the tears coming and didn't know if she could stop them.

Catherine came in with Joe, then. She came immediately to Amy and just held her for a long while, while they both cried.

"How's your kid?" Joe asked the Reverend, quietly.

"He's fine – the shot was clean. You guys really catch the person behind all this?"

"A woman," Joe told him. "We don't really expect to be able to ID her."

Eric frowned…

"Hey, Dad – Joe."

"Simon," Eric looked up – a nurse was bringing him in a wheelchair.

"Oh, Simon," Catherine was to him almost before his father was; she knelt down to be eyelevel with the wheelchair bound boy.

"They told me – about – I mean – is Elliot going to be ok?"

"I don't know," Catherine told him honestly. "What about you?"

"I'm fine – Caroline?"

:We'll talk later: she sighed. "She'll be all right – she's worried about you – it took Jake to convince her to stay home in bed. She wouldn't listen to either Vincent or myself."

He laughed, just a little, "I guess she had to figure that if he agreed, you guys must be right."

"Son," Eric began. "You should be resting."

"I am resting."

Catherine took over for the nurse and brought him to sit with the rest of the group. Simon held her hand – Joe stood on the other side. They all took turns trying to convince Amy that she should try to nap – or get some air… Eric sat quietly – Robbie had come over to talk to him – they chatted about nothing in particular, really… Devin never stopped pacing, even when Sam tried to convince him that he was going to wear a groove in the floor…

>

The sun was coming up when the Joel Fleishmann came in to tell them that Elliot was out of surgery – but not out of the woods.

"However, he should be waking up soon," Joel said. "Amy – if you'd like to sit with him."

"Can Cathy come with me?"

"Amy – you should –"

"Please," Amy caught her hand. "I know how important he is to you – and you are to him." She looked at Joel, "We should both be there when he wakes up."

"She's right," heagreed Of course, Joel had no problem with them taking Grace's plant in, either…he'd been studying Tenctonese philosophy for several years...they had a lot of good points.

>

Peter Alcott looked up as Amy and Catherine came into the recovery area; he smiled at them. "The breather is because of surgery," he gently assured a stricken Amy Burch. "He won't need it for long."

"But – he was breathing when we came in," she said – Elliot looked so pale – he had more tubes and wires than her mother had had after the heart attack…

"He crashed – twice – during surgery," Peter told her honestly. "But he's strong, Amy – he's a fighter. He knows he has you and Lauren to come back to – he's not going anywhere."

"Are you sure?"

Peter just smiled. "As sure as I've ever been." He touched her shoulder briefly before leaving.

Amy watched him leave – then turned to the bed. Elliot was white – there were tubes and wires, the breather – she was sure she was going to start crying again – and then she felt Catherine's hands on her shoulders…

"It's going to be all right – Peter has never made any false promises to me."

Amy just nodded and took his hand – they both sat – and watched – and waited…


	8. part eight

**Chapter Twenty**

Simon felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see his father. Most of the others had dozed off – or gone to find breakfast. "Can we take a walk?" Eric asked his son.

Simon nodded – he'd known that this was coming…

Eric pushed Simon slowly – it was still early, only a few people were wandering around. He found a sunny lounge area that was otherwise empty and tried to collect his thoughts… "Simon – I – I don't know what I want to say exactly. I just feel like I have to say something."

"Dad – you don't have to approve of my choices, you just have to accept that I've made them."

"What I don't understand – and can't approve of – is the way – that it seems as if everyone - under the circumstances, I'm having a hard time saying this." Eric Camden admitted. "But I've been playing the last forty eight hours over and over in my head, and it seems to me that whatever Caroline wants, the adults around her just give in. That can't be healthy."

"I don't think it works quite like that."

"She wanted you to move out here – and you have a place and a job. Two jobs. Instead of questioning what most parents would call poor judgment, her mother seems to just support the notion of you moving here – to be with her. A girl five years younger than you. You know your mother and I would never do that with Ruthie."

"Caroline isn't Ruthie – and Cathy understands that I love her – and she loves me."

"Simon, sixteen is too young to know what love is. _You're_ too young to know what love is."

"You can't say that – I know you're my father, but – you're not_ me_. You can't know how I feel – or how she feels."

"You can't know how she feels either, son. Not really."

"Do you honestly want me to believe that you don't know how Mom feels about you?"

"Simon," Annie came into the lounge, as if on cue… "That's hardly the same. Your father and I have been married for years."

He sighed and forced a smile. "How're Matt and Sarah?"

"Sleeping. It was a rough night."

"I'm surprised you left them."

"Matt wanted me to come – he wanted me to talk to you."

"What happened wasn't her fault," Simon said, perhaps a little too defensively.

"No one thinks it was," Annie Camden sat down next to her husband. "But – Simon – your father is right – you're too young to understand what you're doing – to understand what you're getting yourself mixed up in."

"'Mixed up in'?"

"Lucy had Kevin look up – some of Caroline's family history."

"I don't believe you guys," he looked away from his parents – outside the sun was coming up over the city – it was going to be a beautiful – if cold – day… he wondered if Caroline was watching the sun rise too – if she was with her family – if she was all right… he wished that he could go to her – but he didn't even know where she was… he hated that, hated the wondering, the not knowing…hated worrying about what Cathy meant by 'we'll talk later.' Simon closed his eyes – it would be ok. It had to be ok. Whatever had really happened, it was over now – the assassin was dead… and Elliot would be all right. _Please, let him be ok – let Caroline be ok – just let it all be ok… _

"Lucy only did it because she was worried about you – we all are. The argument that you're trying to make – your father and I are much closer in age than you and Caroline are – and we weren't children when we met."

"I'm not a child."

"No," Eric said, "But she is. And none of the other adults around her seem to even look twice at you – not that I haven't questioned some of the morals of this group." Where to begin… Kip, George – Fin, Diana… even Zach and Grace raised a few questions… not the sorts of questions the Purists raised – but – were they married – did they just live together…? Even though several of the 'group' (for lack of a better word) _seemed _to be Christian, they seemed to support some very un-Christian values in their friends… Simon was right, everyone in the world wasn't Christian – and that was Ok – it had to be, God was inclusive… but there were still some basic guidelines – general moral principals that _all_ His children were supposed to live by.

"Dad –"

"I'm not going to even get into – same sex couples – but at least one man and woman who aren't married are living together – have been living together it seems for a while. What kind of example does that set?"

"It shows that two people who love each other don't need a piece of paper to prove it."

"Simon – it's not the piece of paper," Annie looked to her son in disbelief. "Marriage is a covenant between two people and God. We don't just – shack up!"

"Look – I don't know what to say. I know how I feel – and I know how she feels. I understand that you don't agree with what I'm doing – that's ok. You don't have to – you just have to accept that this is what I'm doing. I love her. I'm staying."

"You're right – we don't agree with it. We don't agree with any of it. There is something going on here – something – I can't put my finger on it. But something just isn't right," said Eric. "I'm afraid for you."

"I think you're over reacting."

"Simon – please – come home," Annie reached out for him – he pulled away.

Serendipity seemed to be working in both directions – Devin, Robbie and Sam were just coming back from the cafeteria and Simon managed to get their attention. "Can you give me a push back to the waiting room?"

"Of course," Sam was the first to speak.

Devin looked at the Camdens – he let Robbie and Sam go on without him. "May I?"

Eric shrugged. He didn't know what to do.

"You look like I imagine my father must have, when I first left home."

"I don't think it's quite the same," Eric wasn't in really in the mood for friendly conversation.

"I was seventeen."

"So young?" Annie asked him.

"I was pissed at my brother – when we were younger he'd follow me everywhere – I'm a few years older. I loved being the leader – but as we got older – Vincent's a better leader than I'll ever be. And that's ok – I figured out a long time ago that being a leader isn't about being the oldest – or even smartest, although I think he's ahead of me there too. We – we didn't grow up like most kids, Reverend. My mother died in child birth – Vincent's adopted."

"It sounds as if your father adopted a lot of children," Annie commented, remembering the conversation from yesterday – had it really been only a day ago? It seemed as if she'd lived an entire lifetime in the last twelve hours.

"Even the ones who already had families – everybody calls him Father – everyone comes to him with their troubles and for bedtime stories. Some times I resented that as a kid."

"We have a little bit of that at our house – sometimes it's hard," she said. Then, to her husband's look, Annie smiled, "It is – the kids don't want us to know – but sometimes I think they've resented the way we take in just about everyone who asks."

Devin smiled, "I know I did – my father was everybody's father – and there were times when I wanted to be the only son. I never had my father's attention – and I never thought I had his approval. Of course I did – but it took mefifteen years to figure that out – and the truth is that I hadn't actually figured it out when I finally came home to see him. I came home full of stories – adventures – things I'd done to prove myself to him… and I finally figured out that I hadn't needed to do any of it. He'd always loved me. The other funny thing is that no matter where I went or what I saw – our meager home was always in my mind. It was the place I dreamed of when I closed my eyes at night – the place my heart still calls home, even living three thousand miles away."

"Being gone for so long, didn't you ever wonder if your father was all right?" asked Annie.

"I kept in touch with a couple of people – people I could trust not to tell the old man I was asking how things were – but I spent the best part of my young adulthood not speaking to my own father – or my brother. Looking back on it, I can barely remember what we fought about. We fought again, after I came back – some things never change and my father can be very stubborn. But underneath it all, he's a great man. So is my brother. You may not understand the way Vincent thinks – but he _is_ trying to do what's best for his daughter – and your son."

"It's just difficult to believe that," Eric confessed. "Simon is twenty-one – she's only sixteen."

"Caroline is like no other sixteen year old you'll ever meet. She is her father's daughter," absently, he touched the scar on his cheek. Seeing their inquisitive looks he just smiled. "We fought once. I learned not to antagonize my brother – or at least to do it from a distance."

"Her father must be – extraordinary," Annie said. Last night – so much had happened, so quickly. It was hard to sort reality out from what must be herimagination…

"He is. We grew up in a community without fear – without hate. We grew up learning to look at people from the inside out instead of the other way around. When Caroline's parents see your son, they don't see a twenty-one year old trying to manipulate their daughter, they don't make those sorts of assumptions."

"Maybe they should,' said Eric.

Devin just smiled, "Your son is a very kind, sensitive young man. He makes my niece very happy – that's what her parents see. And – they trust _her_, too. She has always been old for her years."

"But – she's still just sixteen. It would be so easy for someone to take advantage of her," Eric began. "Not that Simon would – I trust my son – mostly. You know – he's – not led an entirely Christian life."

"We also grew up with no secrets – well, not really. That's something else you might not understand – but Father always believed in telling us the truth, even when we were children. He would never lie and there were no taboo subjects. If we wanted to know anything at all, all we had to do was ask. I think it made us more fearless – and more open to an infinite number of possibilities in the world. For better or for worse, that has shaped the way Vincent treats his children. And don't worry about Caroline – if Simon was ever dumb enough to try anything, she's more than capable of defending her virtue – and she has plenty of her own reasons for not diving headlong into a physical relationship." He stood, "I should see if there's any news on Elliot. This whole thing has been pretty – harrowing. We really thought it was behind us."

"Wait – Devin," Eric stood with him. "What – happened? Really."

"Really – sixteen years ago a very evil man tried to hurt my baby brother. Vincent is a peaceful, noble soul – but when someone threatens the people he loves, he does what he has to do, as any man would. Gabriel shattered the lives of so many innocent souls, Reverend – one of those souls came back to shatter him. Apparently, Gabriel had a child too young to see what her father was – in anger – and pain – she lashed out at us. And we did what we have always done. We brought our children to safety – warned our friends – and kept vigil as best we could until the storm passed once again."

"You – say 'we' a lot," Eric commented.

"Yes, Sir – I do. And I can promise you that if Simon and Caroline really are meant for one another that he'll have an awful lot of people looking out for him – and even if they aren't meant to be, he's made a lot of friends. One thing I can tell you about my family – we don't forget our friends. They didn't even forget me, when I went away forfifteen years."

>

"Eric," Annie held onto him for a long while after Devin had gone, "I – do you think – could we be wrong about Caroline? A lot of very strange things happened last night."

"I don't know. I don't know what to think any more. Why don't you go back to Matt and Sarah's and get some rest. You look like you could use it."

"What about you?"

"I'm going to stick around here – see if I can convince Simon to at least talk to me again."

"I don't think he's that angry."

"I'm not so sure – but I know I won't be able to get any sleep until – until I at least know our son doesn't hate us."

Annie kissed his cheek, "Please don't stay away too long."

"I love you."

"I love you too – very much."

**Chapter Twenty One: **

"Excuse me, ladies," a nurse poked her head into the curtain whereCatherine and Amysat, with Elliot, who was still unconscious.

Both women looked up.

"Some of Judge Burch's family has arrived," the nurse told them - she was a sweet faced older woman with a kind smile. "Would you like me to deliver a message."

"No - thank you,"Amy started to stand.

Catherine caught her arm. "I'll go."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am," Cathy smiled.

>

"Catherine – " Maxine Gray was an attractive, authoritative woman of portly stature with silver hair that she wore in a bob. As soon as Catherine appeared, she made a bee-line straight for the younger woman – who could hopefully give some better answers than her nephew, Kyle McCarty, was coming up with. "You remember my son, Vincent – and Bruce."

Kyle stood with them, trying to make sense of what was happening - and failing miserably–Samantha and Brooke had Nicole and were playing patty cake with her – the child was the only person there not affected by the unsettling events of last night. (Robbie and Sam had finally convinced Devin to go find food.) Kate had slipped out some time during the night - Joe had gotten a phone call and had to leave. A couple of the others had gone with him... andKyle really didn't know what to tell his aunt...

Vincent Gray nodded to Catherine and extended his hand – they'd been woken up atfour in the morning by Elliot Burch's secretary – by the time they hit the road, they also hit rush hour…

"Yes, of course, thank you so much for coming," Catherine shook hands with both he and Bruce – she was grateful to Mrs. Miller for making that call – and for everything else she must be doing, including not adding to the feeling of devastation in the waiting room by going into the office and keeping things calm there. "Elliot is stable – they should be moving him up to ICU soon. He still hasn't woken up – but the doctors say that we shouldn't be concerned about that yet."

"Oh my God – what happened?" Maxine wanted to know.

"It's a long story – but the end of it is that he was shot – and everything will be all right."

Vincent Gray just looked at her – it was hard to believe that everything would be all right, even after getting only the sketchiest of details from Kyle. "Who shot him?"

"We don't have all the details yet,"Catherine told Amy's brother, honestly. "Caroline found a note in her locker yesterday, outlining a death threat on my family," she noticed Sam and Robbie bringing Simon in – he wore a sour expression. "It's over now, though."

"Well thank heavens for that," was all Maxine could say.

"Is Judge – Burch – all right?" Bruce asked – this was the first time he'd called her that. It felt – odd.

"She's ok," Catherine told the tall, handsome dark-skinned man. He was Amy's CSO – Court Services Officer – and Amy had confided in her the sometimes strange, almost sexually charged, nature of their relationship… and the depth of their friendship.

"Can I go in now?" Lauren wanted to know. She'd been standing very quietly in her grandmother's shadow, trying to find out what was really going on with Elliot.

"Oh, I don't think so, honey," Maxine said, before Catherine could answer.

"Your grandmother is right, Lauren," Catherine agreed.

"But – you said he's ok – you and Mom have been back here for more than an hour."

"I know. But they don't let children in to see patients in critical care. You'll just have to take my word that he's all right."

Lauren seemed very unhappy about that.

Catherine sat down on the arm of a chair to be closer to eye level with the thirteen year old. She took Lauren's hands in hers, "Elliot was shot through the shoulder – his collar bone was shattered. The bullet hit a couple of big arteries – and if it had hit a few inches up and over, he wouldn't have made it. Putting it together, we think the assassin was aiming for his head," she felt more than saw Maxine and Vincent blanch – and wasn't sure if it was her brutal honesty with Lauren or that they really hadn't know what had happened. "Something distracted the shooter – and she missed. And because your cousin Kyle was there and knew what to do, Elliot is going to be all right. It's going to be a long and painful recovery – but he's going to be all right."

"How soon can I see him?"

"Probably not for a couple of days."

Brooke came up behind Catherine, touching her shoulder lightly, "Catherine – I was thinking about heading – to see Vincent – let Caroline know what's happening," she offered. "Lauren could come down with me – we can get a proper breakfast – and I'm sure William would like to see you, to know for himself that you're ok," she directed the last directly to Lauren Gray.

"William?" Vincent Gray queried. His mother didn't seem to know the name either. And Lauren was blushing.

"I'd be happy to take Nicole along," Brooke added in Kyle's direction.

"No – I'm fine with her," Kyle began. Even after a solid four hours of sleep, he still felt exhausted. Probably something about being shot at in the middle of the night… "Maybe – are you sure you wouldn't mind?" He realized that he barely knew this woman… but there was something about her warmth – the generosity of the offer didn't seem so strange. Ever since he'd moved in with Elliot and Amy he felt – a part of something. And then last night – Vincent – he blinked as things started to come back to him... Vincent – Catherine's husband Vincent – he looked at her. She winked. Crap… it hadn't been a dream… he glanced over at Simon Camden – he was the kid who was dating Cathy's daughter…

"Is that such a good idea?" Maxine wanted to know, looking to both her granddaughter and nephew – who was looking suddenly very flummoxed.

"I'll walk down with you guys," Kip offered.

"And you should get some rest," Catherine looked to Samantha - it didn't appear as if she'd slept at all.

"I'm all right," Sam lied. It was't totally a lie - she was all right - but she was tired, too.

"I'll take her home," said Erik, taking his wife's hand.

Geoffrey nodded, "I'll stay here – keep tabs on things and give you guys a call if anything changes. In either direction."

"I'll tell your mother where you've gone," Catherine said to Lauren. "Did Joe get called away?"

"He, George and Fin left a little while ago," said Kip. "Diana went with them."

Catherine just nodded. She glanced again at Simon – he was staring out the window at the rising sun. Then, back to the Grays, "Come on, I think Amy would really like to see you," she held her hands out to Maxine and Vincent. "Kyle, you coming in?"

"I don't think – they don't usually allow, more than a couple of people at once."

Catherine just smiled, "Joel agrees with the Tenctonese about nahooma – how it takes the strength of many souls to make the sick well again. Mr. Van Axel?"

"It's – a family thing. I shouldn't intrude."

"Don't be silly," Catherine dropped Maxine's hand – it was clear that she was coming no matter what – and reached for Bruce Van Axel's. "You came here to be with her, didn't you – to show some support."

"And drove most of the way," Maxine added, putting her arm around Bruce's shoulders.

Catherine guided them as far as the hall and flagged down a nurse to take them back – the woman gave her an askance look – which Catherine ignored. "Tell Amy I'll be back in a little bit," she said softly to Maxine.

Simon looked up as Catherine came towards him. "Is he really going to be all right?"

"Yes. It will be a slow and painful recovery – but Elliot isn't the sort of man to let a little difficulty slow him down."

"I'm glad – I don't know him well – but he seems like a really good guy."

"He's one of my very best friends," she reached forSimon's hand. "Are you all right?"

"Not really."

"It's not the leg, is it?"

Simon just shook his head – he told her about the conversation he'd had with his parents.

Catherine pulled up a chair and sat down. "What do you remember of last night?"

"I was – at the house – I'd just finished un-packing my cloths and trying to get things organized – I was thinking – how lucky I am. I love your daughter. Cathy – I never want to do anything – to hurt her."

"What makes you say that?"

"My father. And – I – I've done some stupid things."

Catherine just smiled, "Vincent was not the first man I slept with, Simon."

"But I'll bet you weren't seventeen."

"How about I politely refuse to answer that on the grounds that I might incriminate myself," she favoured him with a wry grin.

Simon blinked.

Catherine just chuckled, "There are a lot of things about me my father never knew – not that I think I made the best or brightest decisions when I was that age. I made the same sorts of mistakes that mostchildren make."

"Do you think – that Caroline's making a mistake?"

"In loving you? How can love be a mistake – it isn't a decision. It's a thing that over takes us and we are oft times powerless to stop it."

"But – what we do about it – that's where there _are_ decisions. And mistakes."

"Yes – that is what separates us from the beasts. We have the capacity to decide what we are going to do about the things we feel. We make the decision to be noble – or coarse. And those are decisions that we live with for the rest of our lives."

"I wish I'd never slept with Georgia – I don't think I ever loved her."

"There are things I've done that I wish I hadn't – things I'd do over if I could. But if I'd done things differently, I might not be where I am now – I might not have been where I was, when Vincent found me."

"Found you?'

"I'd been mistaken for someone else. I was attacked – left for dead. Vincent found me – he took me home, bandaged my wounds – nursed my body and my soul. Simon – Vincent isn't like other men."

"I'd begun to get that feeling."

"One of the things that sets him apart– something that could really affect you right now – when Vincent was younger he went through a period of – darkness. It occurred again when he was older, and someone pushed him to the very limits of this emotional fortitude."

"What happened?"

"Another evil man named John Pater. He – was mentally unbalanced. He had been for many, many years. His wife found Vincent, abandoned as a babe, shortly after her own miscarriage. Things in John's mind got confused – he became – obsessive over Vincent. That's when Anna gave him to Father. And that pushed John further over the edge. He killed his wife – and – went into hiding. Many years later, he resurfaced. He – told Vincent lies – horrible lies – about his birth. He claimed that Anna was the birth mother – that she'd died giving birth to him – and toldVincent that it was his fault. He mixed just enough truth into his lies to make Vincent believe him."

"The guy sounds like a sadist."

"Yes. He was."

"So what happened?"

"My husband killed him."

Simon blinked. He hadn't expected that. He didn't know what he'd expected to hear – but not – that.

"It was a moment of uncontrolled rage," Catherine went on after a moment. She paused again, allowing Simon time to digest what she was saying. "That same sort of rage that will also fill Caroline."

"Last night – what happened – you said we'd talk – is she all right?" Had something happened – but – Cathy wouldn't be so calm if something had happened to her… "Is she all right?" he asked again.

"She is home, safe, with her father and brothers and sisters."

"You haven't really answered my question."

"She was hurt – because she went after the woman who shot you."

"And you – you let her?"

"I cannot control that part of my children's nature – that part of them that comes from their father. The very things that attract me to him are the things that I fear the most – not what he _can_ do – but the way that he _is_. Protective of those he loves – fierce – courageous. Caroline – they all – have inherited those things as much as they've inherited his blue eyes and soft voice. Those are traits that are ingrained into them all. I can worry – I do worry – but there are things I cannot prevent. Things you will never be able to prevent. Caroline is not like other people, Simon. She is – vulnerable – fragile – very human in so many ways. And yet – she is also apart. But I suspect that you sensed that already."

He just nodded. "I think my father – senses – it too. He says he's afraid for me. Mom wants me to come home."

"It's up to you what you do, Simon."

Simon looked around the waiting room– Devin had re-joined them. He was holding Robbie close –they smiled at one another – he pressed his forehead to hers. Sam brushed both their temples lightly – a Tenctonese expression of affection. Brooke and Kip had taken Lauren and Nicole out of the hospital – Erik had takenSamantha home to rest – Geoffrey remained, reading a book… Simon turned back to Catherine, "I do want to go home – but home isn't Glen Oak any more."


	9. part nine

**Chapter Twenty Two**

Vincent sat, slumped over, half-asleep in his favourite chair. Though the red velvet had long ago been replaced with more contemporary upholstery, it was still comfortable. It was still the place where Elliot had rested, when he was shot, so many years ago, because he refused to betray their friendship – their trust. It was the place Catherine had sat and nursed their children – it was the place Vincent had sat on so many occasions, reading to them… it was the place where Catherine still sat on his lap, while they read together from their favourite books – Shelly, Kipling, Melville… now, it was the _Labyrinth _that lay across his chest. Jayne was curled up in his lap, snoring lightly. Claudia was at his feet, her head resting on one great knee, his hand resting lightly on her head – the other encircled Jayne, protectively. Caroline lay in bed, tangled up in the covers with William and Charles. Jake, who was awake, sat with his back against the bed, reading Anne Rice, his headphones on, with Nine Inch Nails blaring into his ears. He looked up when he noticed Lauren step into the chamber.

William stirred also, having heard her footfalls – recognizing her scent. He brushed the long hair from his face and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, "What news?" he asked quietly.

Jake pulled off the headphones – the tinny music woke Vincent and Jayne before he could turn the volume down.

"Elliot's out of surgery – but he hasn't woken up yet. They won't let me in to see him, but Mom and Aunt Cathy are with him. Joe, Fin and George got called away for something. Kate slipped out while I was asleep."

Jayne crawled from her father's lap and put her arms around Lauren's waist – Lauren hugged her back and ruffled her long, wild hair. Jayne smiled up at the older girl, "Is it really all gonna be ok now?"

"I think so – everyone keeps saying that it's going to be ok."

"And Simon?" Vincent queried. Caroline and Charles were stirring – Claudia lifted her head and smiled at Lauren.

"He got a nurse to wheel him down to be with the rest of us – he's doing ok. But his father looked liked awful – he came in to sit with us too."

"It is awful, to fear the loss of a child," Vincent gazed upon Jake lovingly… no matter how much separated them, Jake would always be his son… and he would never forget how close he'd come to loosing Jake, so many years ago… And how many things that could have gone wrong last night… his gaze fell shifted to Caroline – she seemed calm now – like herself. But he remembered respites of calm, eyes in the storms that nearly pulled him apart when he was just a little younger than she…she winced with pain. "Are you all right?" Vincent stood.

"Stitches – pulling," Caroline said. "Lauren – hi." She felt so weary – it was like every muscle ached. Worst of all, the quiet sense of Simon that she'd been enjoying for monthswas gone… she looked to her father – but he was only grateful that she was alive… she hadn't heard it yet, but there was a long, long lecture in her future, she was sure.

"You should see your Grand Father – the wound will probably need ointment."

"How's the shoulder?" Jake asked her.

"Stiff. Can I go Up Top now?"

"No," said Vincent in that very stern tone of voice that brooked no argument.

"Simon's ok," said Lauren, sitting on the bed next to her…next to William… he looked down, just slightly – she was sure he was blushing, too…Lauren was aware of the warmth creeping into her own cheeks…She smiled just slightly as she felt the soft touch of his hand next to hers – he slid his little finger over to brush against the top of her hand, almost surreptitiously.

Vincent hid his smile from them, not wanting Lauren and William to realize that others had noticed the growing affection between them... "Why don't the rest of you go and see what's to be scavenged in the kitchen – Caroline?" he held his hand out to his eldest daughter.

She just nodded – he waited until the others had gone… and noticed the way that Lauren walked next to William – not quite holding hands, just touching, lightly, shoulder to shoulder… "How do you feel?" Vincent asked his daughter.

"All right, I think. It was just – every scent was so strong last night. I'm sorry."

Vincent pulled her into his lap, "It is not your fault. I do not know what it is about my heritage that brings these things about. What Jake went through was so mild, I had hoped that – that none of the rest of you would be plagued by it."

"The period of time you and Mother call the darkness."

He nodded.

"Do you really think that's what that was?"

"It appeared so – do you even remember what you were like, on the roof top?"

Caroline searched her memory. "I – remember – Kate brought Sarah home. I could – smell – everything. So sharp. Mrs. Camden's fear – Matt's relief – the cloying scent of – death. It hung around Sarah – even though Kate brought her back, it was still there… I just felt like I had to get out of there – I didn't go out looking for the person who had shot Simon and taken Sarah – I just had to get out of there – do something – just run it off." She felt the moisture on her cheeks and didn't know why she was crying. "I just wanted to run – I let the night guide me. It's a blur. Father –" she looked up to him – and saw – love. Compassion – somehow, she would rather have his anger. If he was angry, it would mean that she was ok – there was nothing wrong with her. But his compassion meant that he was worried – and that meant that something was wrong… "I remember the moon," she said at last. "It hung in the night sky – it was so bright – it illuminated everything!" she sniffled – he held her close. "The city – I could smell every thing – people, animals – everything."

"For me it was a distortion," Vincent told her. "Music that I loved so much sounded twisted – your Mother, always so radiantly beautiful – I could hardly see her through the haze that surrounded my senses. I didn't recognize your Grand Father when he came to me – I lashed out and hurt Nigel, when he tried to stop me from going Above."

Caroline buried her face in her father's chest, uncontrollably weeping – she was afraid – but it was more – she didn't want to cry – she wanted to run – to hide – to flee – if she just ran fast enough, maybe she could out run it…

Vincent held her, "It passed," he assured his daughter. "It was not an easy time – but it passed."

"But until it does, it isn't safe for me to go Above – or for anyone to be around me," it felt as if the world was crumbling down around her.

"Your mother and I will be here – Jake will stand by your side as Devin stood by mine when I was young. And Devin will stand with us. Your Grand Father will be here, and Mary. You won't be alone."

"But – I am alone. I – I've lost my sense of him."

"Him – Simon? You – sense him?"

"I've had a sense of him since that first night. It's – it's not quite the same sense I have of you and mother or my brothers and sisters – but it's there. Or at least it was. It grew weaker when he went home – but I always felt him – and when he got back to New York, it grew stronger. Only now – I don't feel it. I don't feel anything. Not even you."

"I lost sense of your mother during each pregnancy."

"But I'm not pregnant – and Simon surely isn't!"

Vincent chuckled, "No, I should hope not – poor Peter has a hard enough time keeping up with our medical peculiarities."

She laughed, despite the sadness – and fear – that so overwhelmed her... Then, "What if – what if I never feel him again? What if I never feel anyone again – what if – that part of me is – dead?"

"I do not believe that it is dead, Caroline. It will pass when the darkness passes." Vincent gazed onto the face of his eldest daughter – her eyes, so like his own– her hair tangled from sleep – her high cheek bones and the curve of her lips, so like her mother's… "We are not who you truly want, are we?"

"I know it cannot be. You and Mother – Uncle Devin – Jake – you'll sit with me in the dark. I could never ask Simon to take that risk."

Gently, Vincent smoothed her hair, "Not now. He needs time to heal physically – and you both need time to heal the pain that this woman has caused."

"Do you really believe that Elliot will be all right?"

"I do not believe that he would leave Amy so soon after meeting her."

Caroline buried her face in her father's chest and wept until there were no more tears…

>

"Knock, knock," Eric Camden stood in the doorway of his son's room.

"Oh – hey Dad," Simon turned the volume down on the television. Dr. Fleishmann had finally ushered him back to his own bed, after Catherine went back to sit with Amy and her family – he was supposed to be resting, but he just wasn't sleepy – every channel was reporting the shooting…

"Wow," Eric said, noticing Joe Maxwell on TV, talking to a reporter about what had happened.

"Yeah. I don't think it'll last long. I do have some good news, though."

"Oh?" Eric ventured in a few steps.

"Joel says I can be out of here as soon as tomorrow. I just have to promise to take it easy. Kyle said I could stay with him for a couple of days – as long as I don't mind helping out with Nicole. I think he doesn't want to be alone after what happened last night."

"No – probably not. What about your house mates?" Eric kept his thoughts to himself; it was Joel, not Dr. Fleishmann- what happened to the children he'd raised to use surnames and titles...?

Simon laughed, "Geoffrey said something about Brooke coming over to make sure we've 'eaten properly' – apparently she doesn't have much faith in a couple of guys' ability to cook for themselves. We figure Amy's going to be camped out here most of the time. It'll be a couple of weeks before Elliot can come home." Though he was smiling – and his father was smiling, Simon could feel the tension between them; so Simon said what he knew they were both thinking. "I know you probably came here to try and talk me into coming back to Glen Oak with you and Mom."

"It had crossed my mind," Eric admitted. He finally sat down in the chair next to his son's bed. "You're sure you wont' reconsider?"

"Dad – I want to try and make a life for myself here. I know you don't understand that," he added, "But – I feel like – _this_ is home now."

"Simon – you just got here. Here isn't even a 'here' – it's a hospital room."

"I meant New York."

"It's a pretty rough town, Simon."

"Matt and Sarah live here."

"Matt is eight years older than you are."

"And more mature and more responsible – which aren't things you were saying when he first brought Sarah home – and when he said he was going to convert to Judaism."

"I know – I do. I guess – I worry more about you than I do about your brother. He's older – more responsible. And – I like Sarah's parents. I question Caroline's mother on a lot levels – and I know, it's your life, I can't change your mind. I just don't want you to forget who you are – or where you come from."

"I could never forget that. But right now, I want to concentrate on where I'm going."

"What about money – I mean – you're still on my insurance, so this is covered, but – you won't be working any time soon, how are you going to pay rent?"

"Joel said I could start the assistant teaching job next week. I already talked to the principal of the school and she understands. So does Henry Pei – he said to give him a call when I was up to waiting tables and he'd see what we could do. And Brooke told me not to worry about next month's rent – they hadn't actually expected to rent the room out so soon anyway, so they're ok."

"Simon – I – " flummoxed by the entire thing, Eric just shook his head. While he'd always tried to believe the best of people – sometimes they still surprised him. "Would – would you like our mother and I to stick around for a couple of days?"

"Only if you want to. Look – Dad – I – things are changing. But it's what I want. Caroline is what I want."

"Hello," said a soft, familiar voice from the door. "May I come in?"

"Cathy – yeah, please," Simon smiled at the sight of Caroline's mother. He reached out to her and she took his hand and came to stand by the side of the bed. "How's Elliot?"

"Awake – in a lot of pain, but doing well. He wanted me to tell you hello and say you'd better be out of here soon."

Simon laughed, "Or what, he'll kick my butt?"

She chuckled.

"Joel says I can get out of here tomorrow," Simon told her.

"Good," she gave him a gentle hug, "That's from everyone." Then Catherine turned her serene smile to Eric, "Reverend."

"Catherine," he nodded back to her, "Simon was just telling me that there's no talking him out of staying."

"I can't imagine what it's like – having a child decide to move so far from what has always been home. My husband and I are both secretly hoping our children never move," her smile deepened. "I know my father hated it when I traveled."

"It's rough – we're a big family – our oldest daughter is in Buffalo – Matt's here. But – it's hard. Annie and I hate having them scattered. Are you an only child?"

Catherine nodded, "My mother died when I was young – Dad never re-married. I think that's part of why Vincent and I ended up with such a large family of our own. And we're lucky – they all get along. For the most part."

Eric chuckled, "I hear you. I remember Simon and Ruthie going at it when they were younger – she's going to miss you, you know," he said to his son.

"I'll miss her too – but come on, look at how many times Matt's made the time to come home – and he's a med student. I'm only a plane ride away."

"Well – I won't stay long," Catherine said. "But – I brought you something." She handed a plain brown bag to Simon. It was distinctly book shaped.

"Cathy – you – didn't have to –"

"I know. We have sort of a 'silent' tradition in our family. It seemed appropriate to include you."

He slid the book out of the bag –– it's cover was soft, blue leather, textured into geometric patterns. Simon opened it – there were hundreds of blank, pages of thick linen paper. There was a pen tucked into the bottom of the bag – one of those expensive ones you can only find in office supply or stationary stores. "A journal and pen?"

"A new journal for a new phase of life – a place to write your thoughts – hopes – dreams – even favourite quotes or bits of poetry."

"I don't think I've ever kept a journal before – thank you," he pulled herin close for a hug.

"You're welcome," Catherine kissed his cheek. She smiled again at his father and took her leave of them – the tension in the room was thick enough to be cut with a knife…

"I should go too – you should be sleeping."

"I know – Joel keeps telling me to rest – I just – feel so restless right now."

"Is there anything I can bring you?"

"No – I'll be out of here tomorrow."

"You sure?"

Simon nodded.

"Well – try to get some rest, anyway."

"Thanks, Dad – for everything."

Eric nodded – and left. Reluctantly…

Simon watched his father go – he opened the cover of the journal – several hundred blank pages lay inside. Large, blank, pages. He picked up the pen and began his first entry, entitling it 'A new phase in life.'

>

"You're kidding – he can't stay!" Lucy practically screamed into the receiver.

Kevin took it away from her, "Hello?"

"Hi, Kevin," Annie Camden smiled on her end. "You heard the news?"

"I heard Lucy yelling – and I saw what happened last night, on TV. What's going on over there? Is Simon all right?"

Annie wasn't sure she could answer that – finally, "He'll be out of the hospital tomorrow – we're coming home the day after."

"But – is he all right?"

"I don't know. He says he is."

Lucy pulled the phone from her husband's hands, "Give me that back! Mom – Mom, what's going on? How can Simon be staying in New York? It's been all over the news – some guy almost killed that friend of his – Elliot whatever – we've been trying to get through to you for two hours!"

"I'm sorry we didn't call sooner – but – it's been – a lot's happened." Annie told her daughter. "How's the baby?"

"Savannah's fine – what I want to know about is Simon!"

"I can give you his number at the hospital – after that he's going to be staying with some guy – in the apartment where Elliot Burch was shot."

"I thought he had a place!"

"I don't know," Annie admitted, honestly. "Your father's the one who talked to him."Annie was not happy about that. She wasn't happy about anything going on right now - but she was helpless to stop it. Simon was an adult - he could do what he wanted... and as thoughts of the other night - Kate - drifted through her mind... she really just wished both of her sons would come home. There were medical schools in California...

"What – Mom, you have to talk some sense into him! I mean – this is Simon, he's done some pretty stupid things before but – staying in the apartment that guy was almost killed in?"

"What?" Kevin asked.

Lucy waved at him to be quiet.

"Luce – I really don't know what's going on with your brother. It's – it's like Mary all over again," she sighed. It had been so long since she'd heard from her eldest daughter… Carlos had Charlie – Mary was off 'exploring herself.' They weren't divorced – but it didn't seem as if they were married, either.

"Oh Mom – don't say that."

"What?" Kevin demanded.

"SHHH! When is your flight coming in – do you need a ride home from the air port?"

"No – we'll just take a cab. How are the boys – can I talk to them?"

"Sure – Kevin – go get Sam and David, Mom wants to say hi."

"Fine – but then you're going to tell me what's going on!"

"All right, all right – you don't need to be a Mr. Crabby-pants."

Kevin rolled his eyes – and kissed the top of her head.

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

_Darkness rolled on darkness – fire and water – black water – filled with unspeakable things – unnamable things… things that slithered and churned in the darkness…_

_down…_

_down…_

_down…_

_pulled by the current and the churning swarm…_

_Caroline gasped for air, but only icy water filled her lungs, burning her… no air came – no breath – no life giving breath… only water… only darkness…_

>

The pipes tapped softly – their message was simple. Caroline was very ill…Vincent was requesting no visitors come to see them for a while…

"Vincent?" Catherine said softly as she came into their chamber – in bed, Caroline writhed, held hostage in the grips of a nightmare. The sheets were soaked with sweat – and blood. "_Vincent?_"

"She tore open the stitches," he put his arm around Catherine's shoulders. "She will not wake – and her fever is very high."

"She was fine when I left you."

"It came upon her suddenly. Father is worried. This is so much worse than what Jake went through."

"But it is exactly what you went through," she said softly.

He merely nodded…he had hoped that his children would be spared the darkness...

>

"What're you doing up here, it's freezing!" Diana pressed a mug of hot chocolate into Fin's frozen hands – he wasn't even wearing gloves.

"Just thinkin'." From the roof of their building, he could so much of the city – the sun had just set – the remains of it's crimson glory still streaked the western sky. In the east, Nox was already spreading her cloak of stars. It was going to be another clear, cold, moonless night.

"It's a good night for star gazing – you want me to bring the telescope up?"

He smiled down at her – the soft curls of her red hair – the gentle point of her chin and the hazel eyes set deep into an ivory face – the most beautiful woman in the world. "I love you. I don't think I say that often enough."

Diana put her arms around his waist – and felt the warm comfort of his arms around her. "She'll be ok. Elliot will be ok. We'll all be ok."

"Is that your gut talkin' or just wishful thinking?"

Diana chuckled softly, "A little of both, I think. I want it to be ok – and I know that Elliot will be all right because Joel and Peter say he will. I trust that Caroline will be all right, because Vincent believes she will. And as long as everyone is ok than everything is ok. That's the way it's supposed to work."

He chuckled, "I like your logic, pretty lady. They collared the guy we've been chasin'," he told her. "Craigen wants my ass in a sling."

"I bet. What's going to happen?"

He shrugged, "Huang is covering for me with him – which is pissing off the captain more. George starts flashing that FBI badge and Craigen really bristles. Truth is, I think he knows there's more to it than meets the eye – and now he knows George is a part of 'it'."

"It?"

"He's startin' to get as bad as Munch, thinkin' there's some big conspiracy at work here."

"You mean there isn't?" Diana smiled mirthfully at him.

Fin laughed, "Yeah – maybe you call what we got a conspiracy – or at least a damned big secret."

"I sometimes feel a little sorry for your partner – well, other than having to put up with you."

"Very funny."

"I'm serious – imagine what he wouldn't give to know what we do about this city."

Fin chuckled, pulling her closer – holding her tight.

John Munch had transferred in from Baltimore Homicide almost five years back. He was a good guy – a stand up guy. A guy with four failed marriages, and Fin had to wonder if the former Mrs. Munches hadn't left as much because of his endless quest for 'the Truth' as they had for his job dedication… the same reason Fin's wife had left him, sixteen years ago. John saw a government cover up around every corner and a conspiracy to hide it under ever rock – Elvis was still alive and living in Kalamazoo, Michigan. He'd been a CIA or FDA or FBI informant – and Kennedy had been shot by the feds – who had killed Marilyn… hell, maybe Morrison was still alive in John Munch's world… and in Fin's world, the restless dead roamed the streets, below which lay a world that few would even know how to dream, let alone experience… and it was ok to believe in miracles.

"I'm gonna go drop in on Kate – feel like takin' a drive?"

"Sure. Is she still beating herself up over Elliot?"

"Prob'ly."

"Come on," Diana led him into the warmth of the building – she handed him his gloves as they walked through their loft…

Kate had come back to the realm of the living sixteen years ago to 'set the wrong things right' – to avenge her own brutal murder. The only problem was that the person responsible, at the heart of it, was her brother and he'd been murdered in prison (although to this day it was on the books as a suicide) long before she came back… she could find no peace. No justice.

She wasn't alive – she didn't eat or sleep or age and although Diana had seen her drink copiously, she never became intoxicated. And she couldn't cry when she felt pain. Kate had saved Catherine's life, selflessly – for though it had cost Kate nothing to do it, it hadn't directly benefited her own cause, either. And Vincent, being Vincent, took her home – took her in. The same way he'd taken so many other lost souls – although most of them perfectly, normally mortal...

>

Vincent sat with his arms wrapped securely around his eldest daughter – Catherine sat in the chair – Jayne was on her lap, fast asleep. Jake stood against the wall, keeping vigil – Charles and Devin stood with him. Claudia was curled up at her mother's feet, snuggly wrapped in one of Mary's quilts. Lauren Gray, steadfast and brave, refusing to leave, was asleep across the room, with William hovering protectively over her… and perhaps, Vincent thought – although it wasn't fair that she had to witness such pain – it was good that she was here…William – and Charles, Claudia and Jayne – were every bit as likely to battle their own demons in time – the demons of their very existence…

>

_A never ending stair led down – down into the Abyss – deeper… deeper… always down – always dark… cold… she tore at the darkness, trying to claw it from her eyes – but something held her fast – Caroline screamed into the night… she saw the bullet hit Elliot's chest – he fell back. Dead._

>

"Perhaps you should go," William said softly to Lauren, who had been wakened by Caroline's fit of screaming.

"No. Mom's still at the hospital. Cousin Kyle has Grandma and Uncle Vincent staying with him – they don't need me," she reached for his hand – it seemed almost silly now, how afraid of him she'd been at first. Now, he was one of her very best friends – he put his arms around her and held her tight. He smelled of apples and sweet musk – and a little bit of oiled leather – he was strong and his body warm against hers. It felt good to have him near...

"She'll be ok," William said softly into Lauren's ear.

"I wish there was more I could do."

"You're here – somewhere in her nightmare, maybe she knows that."

"I hope so."

Catherine left Jayne sitting in the chair and went to her husband and Caroline, who writhed and howled under his grip, "What is it?"

"A nightmare."

"Isn't there anything to be done?"

"Wait. Keep her from injuring herself. And pray."

Catherine put her arms around his strong shoulders – in her dreams, Caroline clawed at her own flesh – only Vincent's strength kept her from rending it – and yet she howled in frustration and anger that she could not… what images must her mind be conjuring, Catherine wondered… what must it be to go through such pain…

_The red of Elliot's blood covered Caroline's senses, blanketing her in hot crimson warmth – the stench of it gagged her – it clogged her nose and mouth and she could not breath – the pounding of his last heart beats deafened her – a thousand pounds pressed down upon her, the weight of a sea of red… and no matter how hard she tried to tear it away – she couldn't move – she couldn't stop it… In the distance, on another rooftop, the assassin laughed at her… another voice laughed too… out of the Abyss rose a Shadow – her Shadow… it rose from somewhere beneath the city streets – it's face became the assassin's face – so young. So very young – barely a woman… the Shadow taunted her – snarled at her…with savage fury, Caroline dove at it – hurtling herself into the moonless night… She fell to the ground – through the ground – through the cement of the street and into the Aybss…_

Jake walked over to Jayne and scooped her up into his lap, whispering to her that it would be all right… in time, everything would be all right… he cast a glance in William's direction – in Lauren's. This could be her burden, too – William was thirteen, the age their father had been when he went through this same darkness… the age he'd been when the nightmares first came to him… Jake closed his eyes on the memory of that dark time… though what Caroline's mind was foisting upon her seemed worse, he remembered his nightmares vividly… Jake held Jayne close to him, while Caroline screamed at the dark.

>

Still unable to sleep, Simon found himself staring out into the dark of the night… something overtook him… fear – anger – pain – everything and nothing, all at once… _Caroline._ He felt – cold.

>

Mary handed another quilt to Vincent, "I'm afraid I don't have any mor blankets," she said. Poor Caroline was still shivering…

"Thank you, Mary," he said, tucking the blanket around his daughter – she was awake now but in an almost catatonic state. All she could do was shiver and say how cold she was. "Father, Peter," he nodded as they came in…

"This is so much worse than you went through as a boy," Peter said at length. At last, Caroline had quieted and gone into what seemed like peaceful sleep. "I wish I knew what to do for her – there are still too many unknowns."

Catherine put her arms aroundher husband; Devin stood with them, watching. Praying. Mary had taken Jayne and Claudia off to bed – Lauren had persuaded William to go for a walk – and Father had persuaded Charlie to take a nap. Only Jake remained present and awake, unwilling to leave his sister's side.

"I feel as if this is somehow my fault – it is my blood that causes this."

"Oh, no – Vincent – don't even think that," Catherine told him.

"Mom's right – you can't blame yourself for your half the gene pool – it's not like you've got any control over it."

Devin pulled his brother close – implied trust. Friendship… the wounds that they had caused one another long healed over – nearly forgotten…

"I just wish I knew why it is so difficult on Caroline," Father said softly.

"One possibility," said Peter,"Is that it is because she is a she."

"What do you mean?" asked Vincent.

"We don't know anything about – your half of the gene pool," he favoured young Jacob with a wry smile, "It could be that this is – whatever brought it on – has to do with gender – or the particular hormones related to gender and that because she is female, whatever this is, it is more difficult." He shrugged, "Of course that's just a guess."

"All we can do is guess," Vincent said in frustration. "Guess and wait and hope."

"That is all we have ever been able to do," Jacob placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "It is what I did with you – and what you must now do with your children."

Vincent heaved a heavy sigh – Father was right. It didn't make it any easier – but Father was right…

In her dreams, Caroline floated on a sea of black water – although the surface was calm, she was aware of what lay waiting, just a few feet below her…

_Rest_, said the old woman's voice, _rest and regain your strength – you will need it, Vincent's daughter… you will need it… _


	10. part ten

**Chapter Twenty Four**

_Darkness. Strange dreams that I don't understand.I stand on the shore and look out over a black sea – the sky is black. The night is black – no stars shine. No moon hangs in the night sky. Even the sand is black. The darkness swallows me up whole. Frozen – cold – falling into some sort of Abyss. And then I land here, on this strange and foreboding beach – and I see her, Caroline. She's floating on the waves, on her back, staring up into the night. Her hair floats around her, like a halo or a lion's mane. The water churns – it boils – it isn't boiling, there's something in it – something terrible and she doesn't see it – or if she does see it, she doesn't react to it – it's as if she's trapped somehow and cannot move. I try to warn her – I scream out her name and tell her to get out of the water – but she doesn't hear me... and then the water swallows her up whole. She's just – gone. Gone as if she was never there at all. And I wake, shaking. Cold. Terrified that I'm loosing her somehow... I've never had nightmares that felt so real before. I've never been so afraid of anything as I am of loosing her. _

_>_

"Simon, this is a difficult time for everyone – but especially Caroline," Elliot told him. "Because of her age – and her heritage – she's going through something – something that no one else can really understand, not even those of us who love her." He'd been moved from ICU into a sunny private room. He wore a cast over much of his upper body – and Peter was reluctant to have him go home any time soon. Reconstruction – and replacement – of his collarbone had gone well, and mostly Elliot was feeling inconvenienced by being laid up like this. "There are things that only Caroline can share with you – and she will, but only when she's ready."

"I don't understand." For eight days, Simon had hardly slept – hardly eaten. He'd phoned Cathy at work – only to have Joe tell him that she wasn't in – and then rush him off the phone, leaving him with an even greater sense of dread. "I can't even get Cathy to talk to me."

"It's not that she doesn't want to talk to you – she's with Caroline right now – her daughter needs her. I know Catherine cares for you very much – but what's going on is taking all her time – and all of her strength." He knew through the 'grapevine' that Diana and Fin were standing watch with Catherine and Vincent, trying to take some of the strain off of them – much as he, Joe and Laura had stood watch with them over Jake. They had decided, without really talking about it, that it was just part of the duty of a godparent to be there through the darkness.

"Can't you tell me something that will make me feel – feel like I'm not being shut out of everything? I'm in love with her, Elliot. Please – give me something to hang on to."

"You're in love with her. Hang on to that. Simon – the secrets about Caroline's life are hers and hers alone. Not even her mother has the right to tell you what you want to know – because only Caroline can decide when she's ready to have you hear it," Elliot said, though it hurt him not to be able to say more – he could see that Simon's heart was breaking under the weight of all the secrets. "Be patient. Right now she needs space."

"I just want to be there for her – I love her – I love her more than I thought it was possible to love. Some nights – some nights I have these terrible dreams that she's slipping away from me into this sea of black water and no matter how hard I try, I can't reach her. I call her name – I scream it at the top of my lungs – but she can't hear me. I'm standing on the shore, just watching, as she's pulled under the water and I can't get to her."

Black water – the same things Caroline was dreaming; he almost smiled. "Even if she can't hear you – you're there for her. That alone gives her strength. Believe me – hang on to that love – let it be the beacon that brings her back to the shore."

"I'm afraid she'll never come back to shore," Simon admitted. "Last night I dreamed that she was – just swallowed up whole. That she vanished underneath the black waves and never came back up again. I was just left standing there – alone on the shore." In his dreams, he'd fallen to his knees in the sand – black sand – sobbing out her name, aching inside; he was still crying when he awoke, calling for her, feeling as if she was a thousand miles away… And though dawn had come and the sun's light had chased away the darkness – he still ached inside…he still felt the cold chill of fear. "I've never felt so alone in my life." He still ached with the pain of her loss – even though he knew she was still out there – somewhere. He couldn't get to her – she couldn't hear him…

"You're not alone," Amy said softly from the door. "Hope I'm not interrupting."

Simon shook his head, "I'm just – just trying to make sense out of everything and nothing is making any sense."

Amy favoured him with a kind smile; she set down her brief case – and Elliot's, along with his laptop and planner, compliments of Mrs. Miller, then leaned over and kissed her husband. "How are you doing?"

"Better now," he smiled into her eyes, holding her tight with his good arm...then, "And better now that I'll be able to get some work done."

"Just take it easy," Amy warned him. "Or your laptop comes home with me."

"Yes, Ma'am," he grinned; then Elliot returned his attention to Simon. "Through love, all things are possible, Simon – even the things that seem impossible."

"Caroline said that once – she wrote it in a book she gave me."

"It's something Cathy told Vincent a long time ago – and it has never been more true," he allowed his gaze to linger on the beautiful woman who did him the honour of being his wife. She just smiled back at him – she'd brought some work of her own to the hospital – he recognized the books of case law. She knew that he'd be anxious to see what had been going on in his absence… she knew him. And yet she still loved him… "Simon – some day I hope you'll hear these words in the proper context – but I want you to hear something now – something that maybe you can hold on to in the dark. You have to remember that even the darkness is nothing, so long as we share the light- as long as we have each other, everything will be all right." Seventeen Winterfests – this would be the first one he'd missed in the seventeen years he'd learned of the secrets below the city streets… even so, yesterday Laura brought him a candle – and one for Amy as well. Lauren would be Below – he and Amy would be Above - he would tell her the story – share with her his light. They would be all together in spirit… and perhaps the strength of their light would help Caroline through her darkness… "You can be her beacon – your love can bring her back to shore. Believe in that. Hang on to it."

"I'll try – thanks," he gave Elliot a careful hug and kissed Amy's cheek, then departed…

"Do you think they'll be all right?" Amy asked, after Simon had gone.

"I think so. He's having the same dreams she is – only he's standing on the shore, calling out to her. She can't hear him."

"But he's there – that has to count for something, doesn't it?"

"I hope so," Elliot reached across to her – she took his hand and kissed it lightly.

>

Simon found himself walking aimlessly – hobbling aimlessly. He wasn't supposed to put pressure on the leg, so he used a cane - he still shouldn't be walking this much. But he felt so restless - it was impossible to just sit still... Eventually, his meanderings brought him to the park…

_I found myself at the park today – walking the path we walked the first time she brought me there... a peaceful, beautiful path that winds through the trees... for a moment, I almost thought I felt her with me. God, how I miss her laugh – the feel of her hand's warmth in mine – the way the sun shines on her hair. What's happened to me? It's like this amazing woman was swept into my life and changed it forever. I don't know what I would do without her – Elliot says to remember that the darkness is nothing. To hang on to love. _

The ringing phone brought Simon from his thoughts; he set down his journal and reached over for the receiver. "Burch – McCarty residents."

"Hey, Simon."

"Ruthie," he smiled at the sound of his little sister's voice. Simon glanced at the clock – it was eight o'clock his time… "What are you doing home so early?"

"Half day. I called earlier and talked to some guy named Kyle?"

"Kyle McCarty – he probably left me a note somewhere. I just got in a little bit ago."

"So what gives – I thought you had a place of your own – but when I called there, this guy told me to call you at this number."

"I'm hanging out with Kyle for a while – mostly helping him keep an eye on his daughter – she's not quite two. Thankfully, his aunt took her for the weekend. I think we both need a break. Nicole has defiantly hit the terrible twos."

"At least there's just one of her – remember when Sam and David hit that stage?"

Simon laughed, "Do I ever. So – what's up?"

"Nothing – I just called because I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"I talked to Matt – he says he saw you more when you lived here. You're practically neighbours, you know. You should go see him. He misses you too."

"His apartment isn't exactly close to here."

"There's still no reason you can't go over there once in a while."

"I do have a job – and I'm supposed to be taking it easy still."

"So – how's the job? Do you like it?"

"I love it. I love working with kids – I can't wait to get back into school and get my teaching degree. What about you – how's school – I heard you had a new boyfriend."

"Vincent."

Simon almost laughed, "For a name that isn't real popular, there seem to be an awful lot of Vincents around."

"Who else is there?"

"Caroline's father is a Vincent – so is Elliot's brother in law. What's your Vincent like?"

She smiled – and told him all about everything…

It wasn't until Amy walked in the door that Simon realized how late it must be and got his sister off the phone… Mom and Dad were going to have a fit when they saw the bill…

"You're still up," Amy smiled. "Kyle around?"

"Work. You'rein New Yorkthis weekend?"

"Lauren's father and I swapped weekends so he could take her to some family thing with his folks. So I guess it's just you and me – have you eaten?"

"I'm not real hungry."

"Well you still have to eat something – shall I cook or order in?"

"Would you be offended if I said order in?"

Amy laughed and threw a pillow at him. "Then, You have the phone – order whatever – just no pizza. I had a slice of pizza today in the cafeteria at work," she made a face.

Simon chuckled and hit the speed dial for the Chinese place down the street – it was obvious by some of the little things, like several restaurants on speed dial, that Elliot had been a bachelor for a long time…"You know, you never really told me how you and Elliot met," Simon ventured.

Amy smiled and came to sit on the chair across from him, "It was a cold November night - and I was having the worst week of my life..."

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Simon crawled into bed and stared up at the ceiling for a long while, unable to sleep… unable to face the fear his dreams brought…

_Water lapped up on the shore. Black water. Black sand. A starless, black, black sky… he looked out over the water, trying to find her – but she wasn't there…_

"Simon."

He jumped at the sound of his name – the voice was old – ancient – it was little more than a whisper on the wind, crackling like dry autumn leaves. There was no one around.

"Simon."

"Whose there?"

She chuckled softly – it was an eerie sound – her laugh wasn't menacing – or mocking, but he still felt shivers run up and down his spine at the sound of it. It was like she was everywhere – she was on the wind – in the sky – a part of the darkness.

"You darkness that I come from, I love you more than all the fires that fence in the world," she began. Her accent was Jamaican or Caribbean.

"For the fire forms a circle of light for everyone – and then no one outside learns of you," Simon replied. It was from a Rainer Rilke poem.

"But the darkness pulls in everything."

"Shapes, fires, animals and myself."

They spoke together: "How easily it gathers them, powers and people. And it is possible that a great energy is moving near me. I have faith in nights."

"Very good, Simon. There may be hope for you yet," the old woman stepped out of the darkness. She was short. Her skin was dark and her features betrayed great age – her eyes shone like a pair of white moons – sightless. Yet – he got the feeling that she could _see_ just fine… her dress was odd – layers of coloured scarves and sweaters and a skirt that touchedthe ground– a bandanna encircled her head. It was orange and yellow – the colours of her attire seemed at odds with everything around them.

"Who are you?" he asked; she wore necklaces of cowry shells and coloured beads – the beads were like the ones Tarra wore – only this woman wore far more than Tarra did. And though she was old, Simon felt from her such strength – and power. And – great benevolence. "How can I get to her?" he asked, sure that she would be able to tell him. "Why can't she hear me?"

"You must come below."

"What?"

"You must come below. Below the catacombs. Further than anyone has ever gone before. That is where she will find herself. That is where you will find her. You are her beacon, Simon."

"What?" That's what Elliot had said.

The old woman just chuckled. "You are her beacon – and she is your anchor. And together you can do great things – but this is a fragile time for her. Without your light, her – essence – could shatter. She could find herself lost to the darkness forever."

"No – no that can't happen! I can't loose her."

"Than you must go to her. And you must be braver – braver than you have ever been before."

He swallowed the lump in his throat – brave had never been something he'd been particularly good at… "How do I find her?"

"When the time comes – you will know the way. In the mean time you must be strong – and you must forget."

"Forget?"

"Yes. When it is right, the memory will come back – but for now – you must allow her what she needs."

"What does she need?"

"To find her path – to find her feet. And to make mistakes. For the children, it seems, are doomed to repeat the errors of the parents – and what silly parents she has." She began to fade back into the darkness.

"Just – wait – please!"

"Such impatience, child. Be still," with transparent fingers, she touched his heart.

Her hands brought a chill to Simon.

"Be still – in here. Be still. Learn to listen."

"Please – just tell me that she's all right!"

The old woman chuckled, "Oh how like her father you are! – asking questions to which you already know the answers." And with that, she was gone…

>

Caroline's fever broke the night of Winterfest… but she still felt at odds with herself, as if someone else had crawled into her skin and wouldn't leave. She had no sense of Simon – she couldn't hear his heart beating when she closed her eyes – she didn't feel him in her dreams, even though they had calmed… she felt hollow, as if a great, empty nothingness had settled into her soul. It drove her from the main hub – it drove her to put up walls around herself – protection from the people she loved because she could no longer their love and not feeling, she doubted the honesty of that love… The emptiness drove her to seek out solitude in the farthest-reaching passage ways – it drove her to stay away for days at a time… yet she was unable to find what it was she sought… she only knew that she was looking for something – endlessly searching… day after day, week after week…

>

_The dark waters lie still against the shore. There is no wind to drive them to land. I saw a star in the sky tonight – one single shooting star. It felt like a warning. The dreams have not stopped for me – but I feel – lost, somehow. It's like I'm searching for something that I can't find – I feel walls coming up, out of no where – invisible, intangible walls... it's like the summer after I killed that boy... only... the walls aren't mine and I don't understand where they're coming from. No. I do. Caroline. The walls are hers. I'm afraid for her. For us. And still, no word. No letter. No call. Nothing – and the nothingness is expanding..._

'_Come to me in my dreams and then by day I shall be well again, for sure the night shall more than pay the hopeless longing of the day come as thou camest a thousand times...'_

_Even in my dreams she is not there – there is only calm black water, black sand, black skies... _

_>_

Caroline bristled as she felt Kate draw near. Around her, the huge cavern was dark and still – she had brought a torch and lighter – but she didn't really need it. Her eyes had grown sharper – her other sense also. That, it seemed was what she got in return for the loss of her empathy.

Of all the places she'd discovered, she loved this room the best - it would be even more lovely than the Great Hall, if the way here was more safe... and if the room itself weren't in such disrepair – half of it had been buried by a cave in, many, many years ago it seemed.

Rather than tapestries, Byzantine era stained glass dotted the remaining walls, creating 'windows' into the past. Knights and roses – damsels and castles – beautifully elaborate Spanish and Turkish patterns… and at intervals of roughly twelve feet, balconies – with doors. And the stair that connected them spiraled, with recesses containing suits of armour and other statuary – a few even held hidden passages into secret rooms…

She hadn't discovered where each door and passage led yet – some led to more tunnels – some to chambers filled with stuff, all kinds of things, books and treasures – she had even found an old sitar in a long forgotten corner – she'd taken it back to her chamber – she no longer shared a room with her sisters. The company of others was intolerable – females especially… which is why she was annoyed to find Kate here, in her private refuge.

"Your father would have a fit if he knew where you were."

"I found a safe enough passage."

"Caroline – there are no safe passages into this area of the tunnels."

"I said I found a safe enough way!"

"Look – I am not going to go toe to toe with you because we both know I'd win."

Caroline just glowered at her. Kate was right. She didn't like it – but – Kate was right. "What do you want, anyway?"

"Elliot's coming home tomorrow. It's been almost a month."

"I'm – glad. How's he doing?"

"Why don't you go see for yourself?"

"I can't go Above."

"You can't hide Below forever, either."

"Why not?"

"In case you've forgotten, there's a guy up there who loves you."

"He only loves who he thinks I am. He has no idea what the truth is."

"Don't you think it's time you told him."

"He couldn't handle it."

"Caroline – don't be an idiot. He loves you. You know how precious that is."

"Just – stay out of it."

"Caroline –"

"**Stay out of it!" **she roared. It wasn't quite as menacing as her father's roar – but she got the point across.

Kate stood for a moment. "On one condition. You stay out of here – and I'll stay out of your love life."

"I know how to be careful."

"I'm sure you do."

"Fine. Whatever. Just stay away from Simon."


	11. part eleven

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

_Three weeks have passed and still there is nothing – no word - no call – not even a letter. Not even a dream. I saw Catherine today – she seemed – drained. Exhausted to the very core. I asked about Caroline – she was – reluctant. Evasive. She told me to be patient. I keep remembering Elliot's words – hang on to love... how do I hang on to something that isn't there?_

_There is so much I wish I would have said to her when I had the chance. So much I wish I could tell her now. Not a day goes past that I don't think about her – hear her laugh, echoing through my memory – see her face in the crowd only to realize that she isn't really there. Her friends are still my friends – but I can't help the feeling that they know so much more than they're saying – but I can't press for the answers, because they won't give them. Even without being told, I know they won't give them. Her secrets are her own – that's only fair...but it doesn't make the hurt any less painful._

_Maybe my father was right – I should have had a plan. One day at time – yet, what a difference twenty four hours can make. In twenty four hours Sarah was taken, almost killed, I was shot, Elliot almost killed – and Caroline gone. In twenty four hours the world ended..._

_>_

Caroline found herself in the whispering gallery – she stood and listened – children laughed – men argued – a couple whispered sweet nothings – she'd found herself here many times in the last couple of weeks – every once in a while she was sure she heard Simon's voice, carried through the chamber… her heart ached with the need of his touch… but she could not feel him. She couldn't feel anything – it was like that part of her was lost forever. Father and Grand Father kept saying to give it time – it would return. Be patient… But she knew it was gone – gone forever…

_Come below…_

Caroline looked around, sure she'd heard someone standing right next to her. But no one was there – it was just one more voice amongst the hundreds that echoed through the gallery.

_Caroline – come below. Come to where your dreams lead you. Come and find this thing you think you have lost._

Caroline whirled around – the voice, an ancient voice with a strange accent, had been right behind her! But there was no one...

_Follow the path in your dream. Come below. _

_>_

"Caroline?" Jacob looked up from the book he'd been reading as his granddaughter burst into his chamber. She had lost so much weight during her ordeal – she still hadn't put it back on. She was so – reclusive… "What is the matter?" he peeled off his glasses. She looked – agitated. She came to stand before him – and then, so like her father, began to pace. "Caroline?"

"What lies below?" she asked, curtly.

"Below?"

"Below!"

"Below what?"

"Below."

Jacob took a deep breath. "There are catacombs below the Tunnels – we have buried our dead there."

"Lower."

"Lower?"

"Lower!"

"Caroline –"

"Grandfather – please – what lies below!"

"Child – nothing lies below."

"No."

"There are caves – natural chambers below the catacombs – but – it isn't the sort of place for a child."

"I'm not a child."

"You are still a child."

She sighed, angrily – reigned it in – and faced him. "I have to go away."

"Below the catacombs?"

"Below that. Further down than anyone's gone before. That's where I'll find it."

"Find what?"

"I wish I knew."

"Caroline, you're not making any sense. There isn't anything down there."

"There is. I know it. I feel it." She felt something – for the first time in over a month, she _felt_ something! "Don't you understand what that means – I _feel_ it!"

Jacob stared at his granddaughter, bewildered. There was no arguing with her – not in her current state. Not at all, lately. They'd let her be, given her space – given her more latitude than they would give anyone else… and now – now she wanted to go exploring below the catacombs? "Caroline, listen to me – it isn't safe to go that far down. There are a million places you could get hurt."

"Life is risk."

"Caroline – you cannot go there."

"I must!"

"Than I will go with you," said a new voice. Vincent.

She shook her head. "No – Father. Notyou – I have to do this on my own."

"You cannot go alone," he told his daughter firmly.

She snarled

He snarled back: **"I am still your father!"**

"**YOU CANNOT COME!"**

"Fine," Devin was just behind him – they'd both heard the pipes saying that Caroline was running this way. "_I'll_ go."

Vincent looked to his brother – Robbie and Sam had returned to California – she had a recording to finish and Devin had made Sam swear to watch out for her. He refused to leave until Caroline was truly well again. "Devin – they way is not safe. Even with two of you together – there are – many dangers that far down."."

"Believe it or not, little brother, I have a little experience with danger."

Caroline continued to glower.

Devin met her gaze squarely, "You will not go alone. If you go, I'll go with you."

"Fine. Two days. No more. I leave – if you're coming with me, be ready." She stomped out of the chamber…

"Devin," Jacob began – but his son's expression silenced him.

"I haven't always been around when I should have," Devin said softly. "I haven't always been useful when I was around. This is something I can do. It's something I want to do."

"The way is dangerous," Vincent told him softly. "I have been below the catacombs – the journey is long."

"What's there?"

"Caverns – caves. I do not know what she seeks – or what she hopes to find. Once Paracelsus dwelt far below – far away, across the sea."

"But he's been dead for years," said Devin.

Vincent merely shrugged – it was too hard to say where Caroline's dreams may lead her…

"I would still feel better about this if it was more than just the two of you going so far below."

"She's right about one thing – you can't go – you can't leave."

"That does not change how I feel, Devin."

"Maybe not – but I know who I can ask to come with us…"

>

Fin looked up at the sound of his name across the room – he saw Lauren Gray speaking to a uniformedofficer – he stood. "Lauren?"

The officer let her go – apparently the child really did have business here…

Olivia looked up too.

"Hi, Detective Benson," Lauren stopped briefly at her destk.

"Hi – how's your – I guess he's your step father now."

Lauren just smiled, "Coming home in a couple of days, thanks." She was aware of the looks from the other two men, an older guy in a dark suit and the younger, hot looking guy – well, hot looking for balding and middle aged.

"What's up?" Fin queried.

"Just this," she handed him the note.

Fin unfolded the slip of paper and recognized Devin's handwriting immediately. It was obvious that the same man had taught both he and Vincent to read and write…

_Fin – Caroline is going below the catacombs to 'find herself' – whatever that really means". She leaves tomorrow. I'm going with her – there's a lot of unexplored territory down there. Will you come? _

_Devin_

"Tell him I'll be there," Fin said simply.

"Thanks."

"You know what's going on?"

"William told me."

"Is there something goin' on there?"

She blushed. "I promised Mom I wouldn't be out long."

"Uh-huh," Fin watched her leave… then, ignoring everyone's inquisitive glances, headed in to see his captain…

Don Craigen looked up – Fin's expression was unreadable… it had been a long month, it seemed, since Burch was shot. They still didn't have an ID on the shooter – or any clue as to what it was really all about. It wasn't an SVU matter – the Major Case squad was handling it – but Craigen didn't like mysteries. Especially when one of his guys seemed to be in the middle of it… "Need something, Detective?" he asked – Fin had been more absent than present lately; even when he was here, he wasn't really here… it wasn't quite affecting job performance. Yet.

"Yeah." Fin came into his captain's office and shut the door. "I got some vacation time, don't I?"

"Probably. I don't think you've really ever taken one."

"Good. I need it all. Now."

Craigen blinked, startled. They had eight open cases, three just closed and in trial – and – all of his vacation time? Now? "Something going on you wanna tell me about?"

"No."

"No there's nothing or no you don't want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't want to talk about it."

Craigen considered – then nodded. "Things going to be better when you get back?"

"I sure as hell hope so," Fin turned to leave.

"Hey – I – heard Cathy Chandler's been out most of the month – something about a sick kid?"

Cautiously, Fin nodded, "Caroline. Yeah, she's been under the weather."

"If you talk to Chandler, tell her I said I hope her daughter's better – nothing worse on a parent than a sick kid."

"Thanks. I'll relay the message." An olive branch – curious.

"Catherine?" Vincent asked, finding her at the mirror pool; Above, the sky was darkly over cast – the sun was setting, but it was impossible to see more than evening's gloom reflected in the pool's still waters. Gloom was a good word to describe the feeling he was getting from her, as well, despite the fact that Caroline's mood had been markedly improved the last day and a half – it gave him confidence that she would find what it was she sought and return to them whole again. (Although it didn't hurt his optimism to know that not only was Fin joining Caroline and Devin, but so was Joel Fleishmann – a strange man who seemed to know as much about the spirit as he did about the body.) Vincent knelt next to her; she leaned against him and he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. It was hard to imagine that this beautiful, slender woman, had borne him six children… "Are you all right?" he asked her softly.

"Just – thinking."

"I felt your thoughts across the tunnels. What is the matter?"

"What do you really think, Vincent? Why is it so much worse on Caroline than it was on Jake – or even you?"

"Perhaps Peter is correct – perhaps it is because she is a girl."

"Which would mean we'll go through this again in a couple of years with Claudia – and then again, later with Jayne."

He nodded, pulling her more tightly against his body, taking comfort and such happiness in the feel of her warmth against him. "It could also be that Caroline is by far the most empathic of our children – her sense of other people's feelings has always been great."

"And loosing it has been devastating. Even when having it had once been devastating."

He chuckled, "I remember when she first realized she could feel her brothers' and sisters' pain so acutely – when Claudia scraped her knee, Caroline cried for her."

"And the first time Jake got into a fight with some boys Above – Caroline felt his rage." Catherine listened to his heart beating – Caroline's gift wasn't limited to her siblings – when Pascal's son Luke started asking questions about his mother, Caroline picked up on his pain… "It just seems as if she's always picked up on the worst emotions the most."

"Sorrow and anger are often more acutely felt than the quiet joy of the day to day."

"I just – it always brought her such pain – and now without it, she's lost without it and I feel so helpless."

"That is because only she can find what she has lost, Catherine. Our daughter has somehow lost touch with something deep inside. She has become disconnected."

"Is that what happened to you?'

"No – for me it was more – a cleaving of myself – I battled my own darkness. And you brought me back."

"The second time. The first time you had Father."

"And Caroline rejects us both in this."

"I don't understand that."

"I think I do. No matter how – disjointed her thinking has become, she still knows that – I cannot leave this community. Too many people here need me – or at least they believe that they do."

"They need you, Vincent."

He smiled and held her for a long moment – they both knew why _he_ could not accompany Caroline – and they both knew why Caroline would not have her mother, despite the closeness that they had always shared… "Whatever it is that afflicts her – she has become more – aggressive towards women – in that I believe that Peter is correct. It is because she is female – and there is something in my – genetic ancestry – that affects her. She cannot help the way she is reacting towards you, Catherine. She still loves you, very much – you must know that. It pains her as much as it does you to have this distance between you."

"Every mother expects her little girls to grow up – to become women, to fall in love and have families of their own. But – to have lost her so young – it hurts, Vincent. She's still my baby – and – I haven't even been able to be in the same room with her since Winterfest. I know she's reacting this way to every woman past adolescence – even Mary has felt the brunt of her anger – and even Kate's presence seems to set her on edge. But knowing that it isn't just me, that it's everyone – that doesn't make it hurt any less. I always had hoped that we'd be best friends when she grew up – that I could be for her what my mother was unable to be for me. I love our sons – but a mother's relationship with her daughters is – so very special. Am I being selfish?"

"No. You are reacting as any mother would – as I would if I suddenly feared that I had lost my connection with Jacob, or William or Charles. But it is only temporary, Catherine. This shall pass – you will be there for your daughters as they grow up – as they fall in love – and have daughters of their own."

"Caroline is going up to see Simon tonight. She doesn't seem as convinced as you are that she'll be back in one – recognizable – piece."

"And you believe she is going to do something foolish, don't you?"

"Vincent – he loves her. I saw him a couple of days ago – he's in such turmoil over her absence. It's tearing him up, to not know why she won't come to him – or how to come to her. I came so close to telling him the truth."

"She must forge her own path, Catherine. We must allow our daughter to make her own mistakes."

"I just remember how painful those mistakes were, when we made them."

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

The evening air swirled around her – snow falling down. Snow… Snow had invaded the tunnels once… freezing, biting snow… a man called Snow with white hair had come to kill her father… Caroline hugged her cloak closer to her body – for the first time in her memory, she was freezing. She had felt the cold – but she had never felt _so_ cold… looking up at the grey clouds she tried to find something – some trace of him – some sense of his whereabouts… but there was nothing, only an empty void where Simon once had been.

She knew that he lived – the he missed her and wanted to see her – but she knew these things because her mother told. Lauren told her. Even her father, who had never met him, told her the things that she already knew. But she knew because she_ knew_, not because she _felt_… her heart ached with cold emptiness.

"Give it time."

"No one said you could follow me, Jake."

"I'm your brother. I don't need your permission to follow you."

She gave him a sour look.

"I brought your coat."

"I'm fine in this."

"Maybe you're fine – but you can't walk around like that."

"Why not?"

"Because you look like an extra from the set of Dracula."

"So what!" Caroline snarled. "Who cares what I look like!"

Jake stood his ground, holding out the long wool coat to her.

"How do you even know I'm thinking about going somewhere?"

"Because I know you won't leave without telling him good bye."

With a last defiant growl, Caroline snatched the coat from his hands, nearly drawing blood as she did. She exchanged it quickly for the leather cloak. "I suppose you're coming with me?"

"You suppose correctly."

"Fine. But what I have to say, I have to say alone. And I don't want to hear one word from you about it."

"Not a one," Jake swore.

Around Simon, candles flickered, illuminating the room with soft light, their sweet scent filling the air with the warm smells of amber and cinnamon. Samuel Barber's Adagio for strings played on the CD player, set on endless repeat…

_How shall I hold my soul, that it may not be touching yours – how shall I lift then it above you, to where other things lie waiting – ah gladly would I launch it all forgot, with some dark thing the dark is isolating on some remote and silent spot, that when your depths vibrate is not itself vibrating. You and me all that lights upon us though, brings us together like a fiddle bow – drawing one voice from two strings, it glides along. Across what instrument have we been spanned and what violinist holds us in his hand? – oh, sweetest song._

_Rilke._

_Thirty four days since I saw her last – thirty four days, almost to the hour. I don't know what's kept her away. I don't know where she went – I only know that there is so much I wish I had told her when I had her here – so much that I'll tell her if I ever get the chance._

_For two nights my dreams have been absolutely still – no black water, no dark sky – nothing. I've slept soundly – and yet – I still feel this – foreboding. Sword of Damocles, I think is the expression._

_And yet – when I think about her – when my mind conjures her image – and I feel the warmth that over takes my soul – she's still here. In my mind – in my memory. She's in my heart – and in my hopes for the future... it can't be too late._

_'You darkness that I come from…_

"Simon," Geoffrey poked his head into Simon's room, "You have a visitor."

Simon put down the pen and looked up. He couldn't quite make himself believe what he saw in the doorway… "Caroline? Come in – please." He felt as if he'd forgotten how to breathe…

"Don't stand – I know you still should be taking it easy," she took only half a step into his room.

"I'm fine," Simon stood despite her protests and moved to take her into his arms; his whole being ached for the warmth of her touch… she hung back. "What's wrong?" Simon looked at her more closely – her face was unreadable – she stood with one arm crossed over her body, holding onto the other. Her coat was still on. She wouldn't meet his gaze. "Caroline?"

"I can't stay long – Jake's waiting for me down stairs."

He continued to look at her – her skin was sallow – her coat hung around her, ill fitting. "What's wrong?"

"I haven't been well. I asked my mother not to tell you," she added. "I didn't want you worrying about me," she glanced up at him for the first time, almost smiling. He was even more handsome than she'd remembered – the memory of that first day flitted through her mind, unbidden. He'd looked so – dumbstruck. She'd felt his heart skip a beat that day – she hadn't fully realized that hers had too… but that was a lifetime ago. Less than a year and yet a lifetime… she let her gaze fall just behind his shoulder – she couldn't quite meet his eyes – there was too much pain there.

"What's going on? – Caroline – I have so much I want to tell you – I've missed you so much – I think about you every day I –" her cool, thin fingers on his lips silenced him.

"Shhhh. Simon, just listen."

"What is it?"

"Maybe you should go back home – to California."

"What?"

"Everything you know is there. Your parents – most of your family. Your friends. Maybe – that's a better place for you."

Simon struggled with his emotions for several long moments. "I want to be here. With you. I love you," he reached for her, but she drew further away. "Caroline – please – just – hear me out. I've thought about everything I've said – and everything I haven't said. Everything I should have said – everything I took for granted that you just knew –and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that – I shouldn't have assumed you knew what I was thinking – or how I felt. I know I've said that I love you – and I do, so much – but – there's more. A lot more. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Simon, _stop_. Listen to me. Go home. Go back to Glen Oak. Go back and have a happy life."

He felt his world bottom out. Go – back… to Glen Oak… "What – what are you saying?"

"I'm saying good-bye."

_This couldn't be happening…_ "Look – if it's about what's happened – the shooting –"

"That's over. That woman is dead."

"Then what is it – what's wrong?"

"Go have a happy life, Simon. You deserve one," she turned to leave.

"Caroline – please don't do this! How can I have a happy life without you in it?"

The pain in his voice was heartbreaking – and herheart already ached with longing - with cold emptiness. With fear... He was afraid too...But she couldn't feel his fear or pain – only her own. The only thing she _felt_ was the invisible pull, drawing her below – below the catacombs, further than anyone had ever gone before… there, in that dark solitude, she might find herself… or she might become lost to the darkness forever… Caroline forced herself to face Simon, now, still not quite looking him in the eye. She made her voice sound rational – calm. She kept her face carefully schooled, that it might not betray her feelings. She smiled, just a little, a careful, neutral smile that could mean anything at all. "You're four and a half years older than me. You had to know this wouldn't work out."

"What do you mean – of course I thought it would work out! I moved here to be close to you – I thought – I thought you wanted that."

"Moving was your idea. I just helped because – I though you wanted a change," she hated lying – but if he went away now he would stop hurting. He would stop waiting. He could go and have a life with someone _normal, _not some freak of nature for which there was no explanation...

"Caroline –" her face was so – impassive… had he dreamed the last ten months?

"We never made any plans – or any promises to each other."

"When you told me you loved me – I took that as a promise. I took it to mean you'd – be here. I took it to mean that you wanted to be with me as much as I want to be with you."

"You knew I'd be going to Boston to go to school. You can't _possibly_ have expected to follow me."

"I just thought we'd cross that bridge when we came to it."

"Well now we don't have to."

Simon turned away from her – beyond the bedroom window, the street lay, silent. It was a quiet neighbourhood full of mostly working class families… happy families… cold pain lancing through his body – it was like the wind had been knocked out of him, but someone kept punching him anyway, even though he was down for the count… "Just – tell me why you're doing this. Please, Caroline – help me understand why you suddenly want me out of your life."

"I just did."

"Yeah – but one thing you haven't said – you haven't told me that you don't love any more. You haven't said that you never loved me. It feels like you're making excuses instead of giving me a real reason."

"Look, Jake's waiting. I have to go."

Simon caught her arm, "Please don't go. Please don't do this."

"Let go of me," she growled, almost loosing control of herself… and painfully aware of what she could do to him if she lost her temper. He seemed to feel it too – he stepped back – afraid, she could hear his quickening heartbeat. He should be afraid… for all that she looked normal, she wasn't normal… she was something removed – something different. Something not human.

"I'm sorry – I – I just _need_ an explanation. Please, Caroline. I deserve that much, don't I? After moving out here – after uprooting everything – don't you at least owe me one_ real_ reason? Just something I can hang onto in the middle of the night when I'm pounding my head against the wall trying to figure out what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry you uprooted your whole life. You're young – you can have a life anywhere. With anyone."

"But you're the person I want to have that life with."

"Simon – I'm sixteen!" she didn't quite face him. "How can you want _anything_ with me?"

"Because I want _everything_ with you. You _are_ my life – you are everything I've ever wanted, even before I knew what I wanted. Caroline, I love you. With everything that I am, I love you. For a month I've sat here, waiting – hoping – to get the chance to tell you that, to tell you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'll do anything you want me to – anything you need me to, to prove that to you."

"Simon – please – just go. Go home. Go away. Stop waiting for me."

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me and I'll pack my stuff and be on a plane by morning."

She met his gaze. Her expression was icy. "I don't _feel _anything. Not for you – not for anyone – **_now GO!_"**

Simon stood – stunned, watching her walk away – it was like the whole world just stopped… she was gone. He shook himself and hobbled down the stairs after her, just in time to see Jake's back out the door – Jake turned then – and gave him the most pitying look… and then they were gone. She was gone.

"Simon," Brooke tried to reach for him. "Please – try to understand –"

"What exactly is there to understand?" he didn't even care that he was crying. "She – I'm – " She never loved him. He was an idiot. Only he couldn't make his throat say the words.

"Caroline isn't like other people," Geoffrey told him, very softly. "She's like her father – in so many ways that we could never appreciate as children – she's like her father."

Simon felt his body sit – but he couldn't really feel anything. The whole world felt cold – black. Bleak. _You darkness that I come from… _"What is that supposed to mean – different?

Kip pressed a cup of tea into Simon's shaking hands.

"I don't want tea," he pushed it aside. …_I love you more than all the fires that fence in the world… _"I want to know – to understand." _…for the fire forms a circle of light for everyone and then no one outside learns of you…_ three pairs of sympathetic eyes gazed down at him. They held secrets – he could see it. They held the answers to the million and one questions buzzing around in his mind. "Catherine talked to me about darkness and anger – and stuff that didn't make any sense – Elliot went on about secrets – and you guys have been walking on eggshells around me for two days. What do you know that I don't?" … everything around him was crumbling away into darkness… _But the darkness pulls in everything, shapes, fires, animals and myself… it is time… _"Below," he said the word without really realizing he was speaking.

Geoffrey, Kip and Brooke exchanged startled glances.

"That means something to you!"

Brooke sat down next to him. "It means a lot of things. To a lot of people."

"No – it means something. Something specific. Below the catacombs – that's where she's going. That's what the old woman said."

"What old woman?" Geoffrey wanted to know.

"It was – a dream – like the rest of my nightmares – black water – black sand – only – this time there was this blind old woman with – she's Jamaican or Caribbean or something – she wore the same beads Tarra does –"

The teacup in Brook's hand crashed against the hardwood floor, sending porcelain shards and hot tea splattering everywhere. "That's impossible – she's been dead for years," Brooke's voice was barely a whisper.

"We only assumed she was dead," Geoffrey offered tentatively. Kip got the broom and dustpan.

"Who is she?"

"She tended the dead," Kip said as he swept up the shattered porcelain. "She kept to herself – but once in a while someone would go down to the catacombs to seek her council. She read the bones – interoperated dreams. The last time anyone saw her was two days before 9-11. We think she knew something was going to happen – something that would affect us all – she couldn't have known what or she would have told us. We – everyone – lost people that day."

"Elizabeth," Geoffrey said softly. "Sharona – Julia. Erika." He looked to Simon; his expression had deepened – softened. If Narcissa had come to Simon, it had to mean something. Something that even Vincent and Catherine couldn't see. "What did she tell you?"

"He never knew her – he couldn't have dreamed her!" Brooke insisted. Simon, though she liked him, was an outsider. Narcissa was a part of her childhood – a part of her world, not his…

"Why not?" Kip asked. "She told me that she was leaving – I know you've always wondered about our last conversation," he took Brook's hand, tears forming as he remembered that day and the horrible tragedy that had followed in its wake. "She said that she was leaving but that she would always be there. That I could hear her in the whispering gallery, if I just listened. And – she told me not to be afraid. She told me to follow my heart – and to help others follow theirs. She knew I was different – and that it would be hard for me – that I was scared because of the things I'd been feeling, about myself – about men. She told me not to worry about what my friends thought – because true friends would always be there. She gave me the courage to come out to you."

"Simon?" Geoffrey prompted, "What did she say to you?"

"A poem," Simon said. "Rilke – 'You darkness that I come from –"

"I love you more than all the fires that fence in the world," said Kip.

"For the fire forms a circle of light for everyone and then no one outside learns of you," Geoffrey continued.

Brooke picked up the next line, "But the darkness pulls in everything, shapes, fires, animals and myself. "

"How easily it gathers them, powers and people. And it is possible that a great energy is moving near me," said Kip, wiping the remains of memory's sadness from his cheeks.

They finished it all together, "I have faith in nights."

"It's one of Vincent's favourites," Brooke told Simon, very soflty. "One of Caroline's too. She really is more like her father than even William or Jayne."

"What makes him so different?" Simon asked.

"You – need to find that out for yourself," said Geoffrey. "It isn't for us to say. But – if you really _are _seeing Narcissa in your dreams – it has to mean something. If she's telling you where Caroline's gone – you have to go after her. No one believes that she doesn't love you – especially not you."

"I don't know what to believe," Simon confided. "She said – that she didn't feel anything."

"She doesn't," Brooke told him. "But – that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It means she's lost something. Inside. Something intangible – but integral. Something that makes her, _her_."

"It's the same as if you or I had lost our hearing or our sight," Geoffrey tried to explain – but how did you explain something like this to an outsider? They'd grown up with the extraordinary – to them these things were just a part of life, Vincent, Kate – all the miracles of their existence.

"But – what is it?" Simon wanted to know. "What has she lost?"

"It's not something we understand – but we accept," Kip told him. "It's her sense of being – herself. Her – empathy. It makes her who she is – in her own mind and heart. But she lost her ability to feel others when she was consumed by the dark – even after she got better, she wasn't really better. Maybe that's why she's going so far away to try and find what she's lost. Vincent went below the catacombs to find himself. Maybe there really is something down there."

"You're right," said Brooke, "We have been on eggshells for two days because we knew she was going away and no one knows when she's coming back."

"You mean if she's coming back," said Simon.

"Vincent believes that she'll be all right," Kip said. "Although I suppose that could just be a father's optimism."

Simon looked at the three of them - even hearing all this, nothing seemed any clearer. "The old woman – Narcissa – she said that Caroline was going below the catacombs – that she was going further down than anyone had gone before to 'find herself.' Then she told me the same thing Elliot did – that I was some sort of a 'beacon' for Caroline. Only – it was different when she said it than when Elliot said it. It was – I can't explain." He shook his head – it had sounded like a metaphor when Elliot referred to him as Caroline's beacon – when the old woman said it, it sounded – real. Literal.

Geoffrey nodded, "That's Narcissa. Her words have always carried weight even when they didn't make any sense at the time. And – believe me – she's very good at not making any sense, but we always listened to her anyway – as well as we could, because she only spoke when she had something to say."

"Come on," Kip stood up, "They already have a huge head start on you – and we'd better use the closest way in. If she's still in range of the pipes, I don't think Caroline should hear that you're following her. Not the way her temper's been."

"What?" Simon looked up at him, confused.

"You want to follow her, don't you?" Kip asked.

"But I don't know where – or how – "

"I'll take you as far as the catacombs - beyond that - you'll have to trust yourself to find her."

"If you think you're up to it," Geoffrey warned. "The way is difficult – and dangerous. Most of us have never even been as far as the catacombs."

"I love her." AndSimon was sure that the old woman was right...without a beacon go guide her back,Caroline could get lost in the dark forever…


	12. part twelve

**Chapter Twenty Four**

_Follow me… follow me down… what is this place? I used to come here as a child, with my father – he told me it was a secret place – a forgotten place… but, darling, who built it? Silence. She knew the answer, but she could not tell him. She had promised. Come, she said simply, come and follow me – you won't believe it!_

_Why – it's a while city down here – and it's filled with treasure – gold, jewels – what marvelous tapestries! Where did they come from – Anna, you must tell me!_

_I cannot, I promised… I promised…_

_Their voices finally separated… he was tall and handsome and so very young – she doesn't know what the woman looked like…_

_So much wealth – we could live like kings!_

"_No, John, we mustn't take it from this place."_

"_Why in the world not?"_

"_Because – it doesn't belong to us…" have I made a mistake showing him my secret place? _

_A place to hide… so much… the war… everything is so frightening these days… yes, a place to hide… a place of safety. Friends. Peter. Jacob. William. Winslow. Martha. Robert. Timothy and his young son, Pascal… they're calling Jacob a communist – he's been arrested…. This is ridiculous! We cannot sit by and watch this happen! We must tell them of our secret place…_

_But we cannot risk that they will tell others, Anna…_

_I know Jacob – he would not tell anyone._

_You are blinded by your altruism, darling…_

_So much riches… riches beyond imagining… hiding in the dark like rats… oh I should have known… but how could I? Love can be so blind… and the days draw on, become weeks and months… others join us… Mary, Andrew, Pamela, Luke, Elizabeth, Narcissa… so many looking for a home… we have enough room… we can have a place of peace in this war torn world… that's what this place was always meant to be… that's why they built it… I never meant to stay here… but the man I love will not leave his precious gold... so I must stay. Love is the tie that binds… _

_Who built it?_

_I cannot say. I have promised…_

_Of course – of course – Jacob understands… he understands my silence… he understands my pain… thesorrow of a barren woman… _

_Darkness rolls on darkness…the sky boils red and yellow…blood and sulfur… oil and dust… death… everywhere… _

_So much changes… _

_A lone figure crept out of the night – a woman – she was so beautiful, so alive… It was freezing out, but she didn't mind… she loved to come Above – she loved to talk to the people. The war was over – but there was no peace – not Above and not Below… _

_She hadn't left this world voluntarily – she had, but not because she wanted to. She'd left it because she loved a man – a brilliant man – her husband. She loved him more than anything else… and the day she conceived their child, after many long years of trying …it had been a happy day for them both – the first time she had seen him happy in oh so long! They began making plans – if it was a boy, they would name him after his father – if it was a girl, after her mother, Emiline. They built a crib – she made a blanket – their friends all came to help… there was such joy in the community… for three months, there was such joy… he even forgot about his gold…_

_Then she lost the baby… she hadn't done anything wrong, she'd just been walking home when she felt this pain – oh, this great pain! She doubled over – there was blood, everywhere – blood and water – she ran to Jacob, but there was nothing he could do. She'd miscarried… she could see that the child had been a boy – he'd been perfect… yet her body had rejected him… she wept… but that was weeks ago. She was better now. Not whole – not happy – but better. Her life would go on. It always had… And she had decided that there would be no more pregnancies. Her husband didn't know it, but she'd had Peter write her a prescription for oral contraceptives. There would be no more babies… not for her. She couldn't endure another miscarriage… and both Jacob and Peter agreed – she had almost died from the loss of so much blood… but it was the pain in her soul she couldn't bear – the pain on the face of her husband when he finally got to Jacob's and saw with his own eyes that his son was dead… his heart broke that day. It never mended… _

_Her wanderings took her behind the hospital – it was a favourite haunt. So many useful things discarded! Blankets that only needed a good washing – slippers and socks – so much stuff just wasted… that was what the world Above was – wasteful._

_But wait – what was this – a baby's cry? How could that be? Who would leave a child untended in the middle of the night – in the middle of winter! _

_The cries grew stronger, as if the child was aware of her presence – aware that she was searching for it… through the garbage bins…oh! … swaddled… half frozen – starving – but strong – so strong… he was no ordinary child… no ordinary child at all… _

Caroline traced the letters of the woman's name. A N N A P A T E R _Anna Pater_. _Beloved wife of John._ John Pater. Paracelsus. Mad man. Murderer. She laid her head against the cool, smooth gave stone and shut her eyes, dreaming…

Darkness rolled on darkness… the sky was black…sky? No – she felt herself, below the waves, looking up… and perhaps the sky was black, but she couldn't see it… the water churned around her… knives sliced through her flesh – she cried out – but no sound came from her throat… icy cold water and her own hot blood burned her lungs…filling her… weighing her down… down… down… until there was no where left to go…except into the abyss…

>

Devin and Fin looked on helplessly – she had said nothing to them since they began their journey. She just walked – and when they got here, she just stopped. She stretched out on the grave… and closed her eyes… and there was no way of knowing if she slept or if she dreamt or if she just lay there…

Then without warning, Caroline rose from her respite at Anna Pater's grave and began to walk. Her stride was purposeful – even more purposeful than it had been when they'd first started out, almost twelve hours ago… as if oblivious to her companions, Caroline continued forward… down… ever downwards, into the very bowels of the earth… and neither Fin nor Devin knew what she hoped to find when she got to wherever it was she was going…

>

"Excuse me –?"

"Matt, come in, please," Catherine stood and extended her hand.

Matt Camden accepted – the dark circles under Catherine Chandler Wells' eyes weren't lost on him – neither was the weakness of her smile. "I – hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Catherine continued to smile as she shut her office door. "No, not at all – I was just catching up on some work." Truthfully, Joe had been surprised to see her today. Everyone Below and every Helper Above knew that Caroline had gone below the catacombs… gone to find herself… and everyone was worried about whether or not she'd ever come home again... But for Catherine, it was either come into work and try to get her mind off everything at home – or stay Below and watch Vincent wear a groove in their chamber's floor from pacing. At least up here, Catherine felt she could do something useful.

"Yeah – I heard Caroline's been – under the weather – lately." Under the weather – that's what Simon had said… somehow, when Simon said it, it sounded a lot worse than just under the weather.

"She's been ill," Catherine confirmed. "Please – have a seat – can I do something for you?"

"I – won't stay long," Matt remained standing.

"Matt – what's the matter?"

"I – haven't seen Simon in almost two weeks. So this morning I stopped by the school to just check in – make sure he's ok. Only his principal told me that he wasn't in – he had some sort of family emergency last night. And – I know it wasn't with our family. So I figured it had to be with yours. Only by the look on your face, you don't know anything about it, either, do you?"

"I – I don't know what to tell you."

"You can start by telling me what's going on."

"I wish I could – but – " she just shook her head. Could Simon really have found a way to go after Caroline? Brooke and Geoffrey and Kip – they wouldn't be irresponsible enough to help him go Below… would they? "I have to go," Catherine grabbed her coat and was out the door before Matt could form his next thought…

"Radcliff?" Joe asked as she tore past him.

"I think Simon's gone to find Caroline," she told him.

Joe blinked – then he noticed Matt Camden coming out of Cathy's office. "I'll play interference – you go do what you need to."

>

Vincent met her at the tunnel entrance under Janet's shop. "Catherine? I felt – your sudden – apprehension. What is it?"

"Matt Camden came to see me at work," she began…

>

"This is as far as I can take you," Kip said to Simon as they reached the stair that led down into the catacombs. "Are you sure you really want to do this?"

"I've come this far," Simon shrugged. They'd traveled all night – Simon's injured leg was throbbing. The uneven, sandy ground was hell on it; even with the cane, he couldn't keep enough weight off his wounded leg to keep it fromaching – slowing him down – and compensating for it had only served to make the rest of him hurt all the more.

"It only gets harder from here," Kip warned. As they'd walked, coming in a round about way to avoid the sentries, Kip told Simon the story of this world. Caroline's world.

So much made sense to Simon now – and yet so much remained a mystery. Kip was very closed-mouthed when it came to Vincentand for his part, Simon refrained from asking. "I'll be ok on my own – I have to, right?" Simon forced a smile.

"You're not alone. Caroline's down there somewhere."

Without another word, Simon started down the stairs, his way illuminated only by the small battery powered camping light… the steps were narrow – ancient – carved out of stone… below him lay the catacombs. And beyond that… no one knew. Kip had spoken of a sea he'd visited once, as a youth, with Geoffrey and some other children – a sea that Vincent had crossed to rescue Catherine from a man called Paracelsus…

At the bottom of the stair, Simon took a moment to rest. He sipped some of the water he'd brought – and munched a hand full of the trail mix Brooke had packed for him. This was the place Caroline had grown up – maybe not here – but in this world. In this place a part from the rest of the world… what had her childhood been, he wondered… What had brought Catherine Chandler to a place like this – he knew enough to know that she was a wealthy woman in her own right. What about the others – Elliot surly knew – how had he come by that knowledge…? What about Joe Maxwell? What other wonders lay down here - right under the feet of millions of New Yorkers...?

Simon closed his eyes – sleep overtook him, although he hadn't meant for it too… uneasy dreams of darkness filled his light slumber…ice-cold water filled his lungs...he woke with a start – where – what –? Slowly, Simon got his bearings – remembered – the trip down – his leg ached and he knew had a long trek ahead of him… With great difficulty, he heaved himself to his feet. Somehow, he had to find her…

The air grew cold – and dry. Sweet… a sweetness lingered in the air, it was like nothing he'd ever smelled before – almost – sickly sweet… with only a single electric torch to guide his way, Simon followed the path that twisted and turned; when he came to a fork or a T, he had only his own instinct to guide him through the labyrinth of sand and stone… Another stair led down… he followed into a room where the dead lay resting… Mummified... each lay on a stone couch, carved out of the wall – there were several dozen… the sick sweet scent was at its strongest here… the room was chilled – dry…

A shadow moved.

Simon jumped…

A dry chuckle rang out in the stillness, "Never mind them – they have not had anything to say for a long, long time."

"Are – you real?" Simon shone the beam of light in the direction of the voice – she was the same old woman from his dream.

"Are _you_ real?" she queried, sharply.

"I – suppose so."

"Well then we are both real. Come. Let us leave the dead to their slumber."

Uncertain, Simon followed her – it meant walking through the burial chamber… still, the dead remained absolutely still… as he supposed, he should have expected them to… "Where are we?"

"Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers?"

"I – we're below."

"Below." When she said it, it sounded different. "Come," she said again.

Simon held the lantern high – she guided the way through a long arched passage way – the arches were carved – exquisitely so. "What is this place?"

The old woman was silent.

Simon fell silent, too – the air grew more chilled. A fog swirled up as if out of nowhere – there was moss on the walls – a new smell. Wet. Green.

"Watch your step," said the old woman, as she started down another old stone stair. "It is sometimes slippery."

Simon decided to heed her warning and watched carefully the placement of his feet and the cane he needed for support… and then, he looked up and she was gone. Simon blinked. He'd reached the bottom of the stair – the fog lifted… though he could see it, lingering eerilyup above him…

Simon shook his head, questioning his own sanity (and not really for the first time in the last twenty four hours) and turned his attention to the dank sandy chamber, feeling the weight of decades long past lingering around him… the light of his torch fell upon a gravestone… Anna Pater… Pater… Cathy had talked about Anna Pater – and her husband, John… a man Caroline's father had killed… "So why are you buried way down here?" He asked aloud – there wasn't an answer. But there were foot prints… three sets… Two men and a girl – Fin, Devin and Caroline… he followed them… through the dark…

Simon trudged through caves and caverns, resting only when he had no choice and only for as long as absolutely necessary… Eventually, all sign of man's interference vanished and only the Hand of God could be seen at work in the natural beauty of the rock and stone… quartz glistened in a dozen hues – phosphorescent streaks caught the light of his lantern – strange formations loomed in the dark… Simon lost all track of the passage of time…

He came to another stair. It wound down in a tight spiral as if it had been carved into a natural stone pillar…down and down and down… and the further down he went, the greater his sense of urgency…

Simon's knees gave way when he finally hit the sandy loam of the cavern floor… he could hear water dripping…a steady, almost musical,plunk, plunk, plunk... Sitting up, heheld the lamp up to try and see…anything… but the cavern was too huge. Too dark. And filled with huge dark shapes, grotesquely formed in the near silence of the earth…

Simon swallowed back his fear. There was something about this place – something – looming… He picked himself up from the dirt – the air was damp and cool. It smelled of moisture and darkness – dirt – mineral rich dirt… he wondered how far down he was. This certainly felt like further down than anyone had gone before… a sudden, foul wind blew, scattering sand – he coughed and covered his mouth – wind? Down here? It seemed impossible. Everything about this place seemed impossible!

"Nothing is impossible," Narcissa told him. "What is it they say now – you must think 'outside the box' – think outside of your box, Simon."

"Where is she? Is she all right -?"

"Only _you _can find her."

"So why do you keep appearing?"

"Perhaps I am only a figment of your imagination. Perhaps you are really going slowly insane… perhaps all of this is in your mind, Simon. Perhaps you are not here at all. And neither am I."

"No. It's real. You're real. I don't know who or what you are – but you're real."

She chuckled, "Very good. There really is hope for you yet. Follow your heart, child. She is very near and time is very short. But you must remember, Simon," she said as he started to move off.

Simon turned back to the old woman. "Remember what?"

"Remember that appearances can be deceiving and that sometimes the mind does play tricks on itself – and on the heart. Follow your _heart_, Simon. Remember love."

"Remember love," he repeated…

>

"We gotta get her outa here."

"There is no way we can climb that last stair carrying her," Devin shook his head.

"Like hell there ain't – hey – what's that?" Fin looked up – there was a pin prick of light – coming their way.

"Maybe Vincent sent out a search party."

"I doubt that. Hey!"

>

Simon almost laughed, "Hey!" He hollered back, forcing his legs to carry him more quickly across the soft sandy floor, though every step brought with it stabbing pain. He'd heard Fin – and he thought he could hear another male voice, Devin… but not Caroline's voice…

>

Fin and Devin exchanged puzzled glances. Simon? What the hell…?

>

By the time Simon got to them, his heart was pounding as much with fear as with exhaustion… Devin was sitting, holding her – Fin stood over them, waiting. She wasn't moving. Simon froze.

"She's slipped into unconsciousness," Devin said, by way of greeting. "At first we thought she was just taking a nap – she hasn't really stopped since Anna's grave – but then – she wouldn't wake up."

"How long?" Simon drew ragged, pain-filledbreaths.

"Hard to say – an hour maybe?" Devin looked up to Fin for confirmation or rebuttal.

The big man just shrugged, "I still say we gotta get her outa here. Get her back to Father – hell, get her to Peter and Joel, maybe. I don't know."

"Here – let me sit with her for a while," Simon slid to the ground aware of his body's gratitude.

Fin and Devin exchanged glances – but at this point…?

Simon propped his back up against one of the huge stone shapes – it was hard but smooth. He helped Devin ease Caroline into his own lap – she was warped snug in her cloak – her breathing was frighteningly shallow and she was very cold… Simon eased back her hood to see her face more clearly – her cheeks were sunken in – dark circles shrouded her eyes – she seemed so light. So thin. So terribly, terribly pale… his heart ached…

"How long you been walking on that bum leg without a break?" Fin queried softly.

"A lot longer than I should have. I'll catch a nap – then we'll figure out how to get her out of here. You two should probably rest too – if the last time you stopped was that grave – was an awful long way up," Simon didn't really look at either of them. He traced the lines of her mouth – her curved, once pink lips, praying that it was only some trick of the light that made them look so blue now…

"What are you doing here?" Devin finally asked. "Does Vincent know you've come?"

"I doubt it. Kip showed me the way, as far as the catacombs. He said something about taking a back way in, so no one would see us," he rearranged himself – and Caroline – into a more comfortable position. She seemed hardly more than skin and bone…

"But how did you get this far?" Devin still wanted to know.

"I – just did. The old woman helped – I think." He didn't really know what to make of her… he didn't really care… remember love. It was hard to remember anything but fear right now…

"What old woman?" asked Fin.

"Geoffrey, Kip and Brooke seem to thinkshe's someone called Narcissa," Simon pulled Caroline closer to him, wrapping his arms around her, trying to bring warmth to her.

"No one's seen her – five – six years," Devin began.

"I don't know – she never introduced herself – it's just what the others said," Simon laid his head against Caroline's, listening to her slow, shallow breath. It was steady – at least it was steady… weariness began to overtake him. The weight of his own eyelids was too much to bear…

"But – you said Kip took you as far as the catacombs – !" Devin continued to protest.

Fin put his hand on his arm, "Come on – let's take a look around – see if maybe there's an easier way outa here."

"Maybe we should stay close by – we don't know if there's anything down here."

"Like what – monsters? You watch too many old movies," Fin scoffed good naturedly. "Come on – you're the great explorer – let's explore."

Devin heaved a sigh – Fin was right. There were no monsters in the dark – the only monsters who had ever lived down here had walked on two legs… and he didn't even think that Paracelsus had come this way. It seemed to – isolated. "Simon – you need us – holler – sound seems to carry pretty well down here – and it looks solid enough I'm not real worried about a cave in."

"Ok." Holding Caroline tight, he drifted off towards sleep, only vaguely aware that Fin and Devin were moving off to explore the cavern…and apparently they'd thought to bring along glow sticks – about ever fifty feet they dropped a glowing neon stick to the sandy floor… brilliant… Simon wished he'd thought of that… the sand… it was… black… remember… love…

Darkness… black water… black sand… he looked up… black sky… remember love… he called out Caroline's name – but only the sound of his own voice echoed back to him…

Simon walked along the seashore listening to the water lap against the sand – it seemed almost peaceful now. It was hard to imagine how terrible he'd found this place before… in the distance, the waves washed something up to land – it was black – no… her cloak fell back to reveal her red-gold hair – Simon ran towards her – _Caroline!_ The sea had finally released her from it's icy depths – she was bleeding from deep cuts in her arms and legs – he rolled her over – lifeless sapphire eyes stared up at him… **NO!** He couldn't be too late! He was here! He was here to bring her back – helplessness surged up in his heart and soul… _though lovers be lost… love shall not… _"And death shall have no dominion…" tears trickled down his cold cheeks… Dylan Thomas… she'd read that poem aloud to him once, over the phone… she said it was one of her favourites… "Caroline – Caroline!" Desperately, Simon shook her – she remained lifeless… unmoving. Cold. **"CAROLINE! **I love you – I love you so much…I need you," he held her close, refusing to let go – refusing to believe… but she never moved. She drew no breath. There was no warmth… no heart beating against his chest… he had no idea how long he sat, in stunned silence, weeping cold and bitter tears… helpless…

Narcissa… she should be here… but the old woman was nowhere to be found. Simon called her name – but there came no reply, just the water, lapping against the sand… washing Caroline's blood back out to sea… "You said to remember love – how can I remember love!" he screamed into the night. There was no answer but the deafening silence of the darkness… "You said I could save her – you said… you said…" Simon clung Caroline's lifeless form… it wasn't fair, he was here, he'd come for her… he'd come all this way – only to be too late… He let his gaze fall to her once beautiful face… the face of a girl so full of life…he remembered the sound of her music, the skill she had over the strings of her violin – she commanded it to life, breathing life into the music her brother had written… Simon remembered how she'd danced that first night… danced in a way fourteen year old should know how to dance… "There's so much I wanted to say to you – so much I wanted you to hear – don't you know how much I love you? Don't you know you're my life?" But there was no answer. She was cold – her body grew ridged in his arms… a cold emptiness filled him… loss. Loss was so small a word to describe the pain inside… his whole body shook with the pain of loss, caving in on itself as a cold ache fell over him… it was like the sun would never shine again…

_What though the radiance which was once so bright  
Be now for ever taken from my sight,  
Though nothing can bring back the hour  
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;  
We will grieve not, rather find  
Strength in what remains behind;  
In the primal sympathy  
Which having been must ever be;  
In the soothing thoughts that spring  
Out of human suffering;  
In the faith that looks through death,  
In years that bring the philosophic mind.  
And O, ye Fountains, Meadows, Hills, and Groves,  
Forebode not any severing of our loves!  
Yet in my heart of hearts I feel your might;  
I only have relinquished one delight  
To live beneath your more habitual sway.  
I love the brooks which down their channels fret,  
Even more than when I tripped lightly as they;  
The innocent brightness of a new-born Day  
Is lovely yet;  
The Clouds that gather round the setting sun  
Do take a sober colouring from an eye  
That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality;  
Another race hath been, and other palms are won.  
Thanks to the human heart by which we live,  
Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears,  
To me the meanest flower that blows can give  
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears._

_(William Wordsworth)_

A sound drew his attention – it was a cough… the voice was so familiar – he had to turn – to turn away from her lifelessness… a shrouded figure huddled on the sand not ten feet away… it kept itself closed off from him, hidden in the folds of the dark leather cloak.

Somehow, Simon found his feet – and his voice. With a last look – a last good bye, he laid Caroline down on the sand – she was gone. There was nothing he could do… "Are you all right?" he forced himself to ask the stranger.

"Don't come any closer," warned a voice – it was a harsh whisper. The speaker turned its back to him, further obscuring itself from his view.

"Who are you?"

"No one. _Go away!"_ She snarled then, in warning.

Simon stopped where he was. "I – only want to help… there's nothing I can do for – her." He couldn't even say her name any more…

"Nothing you can do for me either. Just – go away. Go home. Go back to Glen Oak."

Glen Oak. How did she know about that? Simon looked back at Caroline's lifeless form – her perfect milk white skin – her sapphire eyes staring out into the darkness… no more blood spilled from her wounds… it was all gone, all washed back into he ocean… he forced himself away from her – the stranger was ambling down the beach. Her gait was odd – as if she was badly injured. He ran to catch up – she kept herself tightly wrapped in her shroud of black leather. "Wait – please – let me at least give you a hand – are you hurt?"

"I'm fine – **_now go away!"_** she roared at him.

Simon didn't stop – he reached out – she was solid. She was real – he pulled her towards him, spun her around – still, her face remained hidden in shadow. "Let me see your face," he insisted.

"No!"

"Let me see your face!" Simon reached for her hood – sharp clawed hands grabbed his – cut deep into his flesh – he hissed in pain. Blood began to flow from the wounds – and he started when he realized that her hands were furry…

"I warned you!" She screamed – he wouldn't let go. "Damn it – _I don't want to hurt you any more!" _Her voice was ragged with pain…

"Then let me see your face!"

"**No!"** she roared back definitely.

They struggled – finally – he pulled her hood down. The strangest face peered out at him – soft golden fur – high cheekbones – a cleft lip – and feline nose… a long mane of red-gold hair. Sapphire eyes. "Caroline?"

"No."

"Prove it."

"What do you mean – prove it –" but before she could say another word, she found his mouth on hers – she tried to push him off – but he held her firm – his kiss was urgent – soft – frightened… hopeful. Something in her wouldn't allow her to ignore the soft pleading of his kiss… finally, when he pulled away, she turned, "Please – don't ever do that again."

"Caroline – wait – where are you going – why are you going?"

"Look at me!" she wept. "Look at what I've become – at what I was all along." She gazed back up the beach to her other self – her outer self. Then she gazed down at her hands. Fur covered. Clawed. "This is what's inside. This is why I have to go away. Don't you understand?"

"No, I don't. I love you."

"You're either mad or daft. **LOOK** at me!"

He smiled and with gentle fingers brushed the hair from her face – she tried to turn away – he held her face, cupping it lightly, in his hands – she reached up for his hands – but he didn't pull away. He smiled; his voice was calm: "I am looking at you. And do you want to know what I see? I see the most beautiful woman I've ever known – I see the person I fell in love with – I see the face of the person I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"The person you fell in love with is dead on the beach. I killed her." She held her bloodied hands out to him.

"You _are_ her."

"She's who you want – not me. Look at me!"

"What makes you think I care what you look like?"

"You'd care. You'd care if this was what I looked like on the outside. You should care that it's what I am on the inside."

"You're wrong. It's your inside I fell in love with – I'd love you no matter what you looked like on the outside."

"You can't mean that."

"I do."

"Well – it's too late. It doesn't matter." She tried to pull away.

"If you won't come back to me – then – I guess I'll just have to follow you."

"You don't know where I'm going!"

"I don't care where you're going."

"Simon, you can't. You can't follow me into the dark. You can't be a part of my world."

"And I can't live in my world without you. So – either you come back to me – or I'll stay here, with you. It's up to you."

She was shaking, tears trickling through the golden fur of her cheeks… "I can't – I don't know how. Please – please let me go."

"I don't know how to let you go," he smiled down at her, gently brushing away the tears, ignoring the pleading in her eyes… he wouldn't let go, no matter what, he wouldn't let go…

"No – please no – you have to live – you have to have a happy life – you have to!"

"I can't do that – not without you. Don't you get it yet, _I'm in love with you_."

"Don't say those words!"

"Why not?"

"Look at me – just look at me! For one minute take off those rose coloured glasses of yours and see me for what I am! I'm a monster a freak of nature – I'm strong enough to break your bones without any great effort – I could hurt you."

"You already have hurt me, Caroline, when you said good bye. That hurt more than being shot."

"No – I didn't mean to – I only wanted you to go away. To be happy. To leave me – to never have to see me like this – please – just go away and pretend we never met!" She buried her face in her hands, sobbing – why had he followed her – why did he have to see her like this – why did he have to pretend that it didn't matter…! Why did he have to pull her close and hold her while she cried… and why did being next to him have to feel so damned good! "You said – you said you'd go back home if I told you I didn't love you. Ok – fine – I don't love you – I never loved you – _now go away!" _she shoved away from him, turning her back on him.

"I guess I lied," Simon pulled her back around so that she faced him once more. "I'm not leaving."

"Simon – I can't love you – I don't know how. I don't_ feel_ – I lost something – in the dark. Myself – my ability to feel – I – you have to leave. I'm still – disconnected from – myself." She gazed up the beach at the lifeless husk. "That part of me is dead – this is all that's left – and this isn't real. This is just an illusion."

He leaned forward, and kissed her – gently at first – she resisted – but for only a moment – then she surrendered to him – or maybe he surrendered to her – it was impossible to tell… Fire rose in her – in him – passion – warmth… her kiss held everything he remembered…she wrapped her arms around him, crying while he held her. He felt her heart beating – her breath strong and steady… he stroked her silken hair. "You can't tell me that this wasn't real, Care," he whispered at last, tilting her chin lightly upwards with his knuckles so that he could see her eyes, "And you can't convince me that you didn't feel exactly what I did. I've been seeing this place too, in my dreams – I've been calling to you but you haven't been able to hear me. You've built up walls because you're afraid. I don't blame you – having this – beautiful thing inside you – it must be a little frightening. But you shouldn't be afraid of me. I love you."

"I'm not beautiful."

"Oh yes you are," he cupped her face in both of his hands. "If you could see yourself through my eyes, you'd know just how beautiful you are, Caroline – you'd know how much I love you – and I think you do know. I think you _can_ feel. Now," he kissed her again, savouring the sweet warmth of her mouth against his – the softness of her lips – the caress of her tongue… when they parted once more, he smiled down at her. "Tell me you don't feel what I do."

"I feel – here. Now. But – I'm still – disconnected from myself – from the rest of me."

"You're the only one who can re-connect you with – you. You have to try – please. You have to try."

"Simon – I don't know how!"

"Out there – in the water," he told her. "That's where you got disconnected – that's where you can go to get reconnected."

"No – no – you don't know what's out there –" she began backing away from him – but he held her tight.

"Sure I do – it's you. Your hopes. Your fears – your nightmares."

"Than you know why I can't go back – I can't face that again!"

Simon smiled, almost laughing, "Caroline, you went flying out my brother's window – you went after the woman who shot Elliot – who shot me – she was armed – she hurt you. But you weren't afraid of her. What is there to be afraid of now?"

"You have no idea," she looked away from him, unable to meet his gaze … rejection… hurting him… hurting the girls at school, the ones she wanted desperately to hurt… but she couldn't do it, even though they deserved it… worst of all was fear of loosing him… fear of being alone… fear of the people she loved turning on her, rejecting her… hating her… "I'm afraid of everything. Please – please don't ask me to do this. Just stay here. With me."

"We can't stay here forever. You know that – you have to face yourself. You have to reconnect with yourself."

"I can't. I can't…"

"Shhh… you can. I have faith in you, Caroline. I'll be right here, waiting for you when you come back."

"If I come back."

"_When_ you come back. I'll guide you back to shore – I promise."

She searched his face for some sign of deception… "You'll really – be here?"

"I'll really be here," Simon kissed her forehead, gently – he'd never realized how fragile she really was inside – how truly childlike in her innocence… in her fear. "I'll always be right here, waiting. Remember – I love you. I'll never leave you."

"I don't know how long I'll be."

"It doesn't matter. I'll be here."

Slowly – fearfully – she turned from him and moved towards the waves – they lapped up across the lifeless body – as she walked into the waves, the water dragged it along as well, until they were both lost to the darkness…

Simon sat down to wait…

In his arms, she stirred – the movement woke him from dreams he couldn't quite remember. Simon smiled, "Hey, beautiful. You gave Devin and Fin quite a scare, you know."

"Simon? What – what are you doing here?" Caroline sat up in his lap and looked around – everything felt – disjointed. Where was she…? The dark cavern… the long stair… the caves… catacombs… Anna's grave… "Why are you here?" she asked him again. She remembered – her long walk. The darkness… the water… her own lifeless body on the shore… and then… going back in… finding herself in the dark… a war between all that she was… and through it all… a light shining, guiding her back to shore… guiding her back to herself…

"I followed you," Simon resisted the urge to hold her any tighter, though he longed to have her closer. He longed to feel her heart beating – longed to tell her how much he loved her… but despite her seeming more like herself, he could feel that the walls were still there… a barrier had been erected between them… it was her defense – and he understood now. She wasn't some impossibly brave girl – she was scared of all the things that everyone was afraid of… deep inside, she was just like everybody else…

"You said you would go – if I told you I didn't love you, you said you would go."

"I lied. Sue me."

Caroline laughed, despite herself, "I would – but I don't really think I want to go into law."

"Any chance that means you're not going to Boston in two years?"

"Maybe – but – how did you find me?"

"I just – kept walking until got here," he helped as she scooted off his lap – it hurt to feel her warmth retreating… but he let her go. At least she didn't go far – she sat with her shoulder up against his…he kept talking: "I had some help – Kip got me as far as the catacombs. After that," he shrugged. "I just knew where you were."

Caroline searched his face for some clue… she felt… _him_. Felt his heart beating – felt his love – it was overwhelming. But it was overshadowed by a great pain – a cold ache in his heart. An ache she'd caused… she'd hurt him so badly when she told him to go away – Caroline looked away, ashamed… "Why did you follow me?" her voice was barely a whisper – would he ever forgive her… did he even know how…?

"Because I can't live without you in my life. Even if it's just as friends – I need to have you around, Caroline," he leaned over and gave the top of her head a gentle kiss – dear God, it felt so good to hear her voice again… it hurt… but it was a sweet pain… "I missed you so much this past month," Simon whispered. "I missed you more than I thought I could miss anyone."

"I – I'm sorry."

"Shhh – I know."

Aware that Fin and Devin were moving towards them, Caroline stood – her whole body felt stiff. "How long did I sleep?" She asked.

"I don't know."

"Caroline – !" Devin stopped short seeing her standing up.

"Squirt – welcome back," Fin greeted her with a warm hug. "We thought we might've lost you there for a minute." He held her tightly.

Simon watched – envious of Fin's ease with her – aware that Devin was regarding him as if he knew something… which he probably did… "We didn't have any luck finding another way out," Devin began. "We should probably all get some sleep before starting back – assuming you're ready?" He glanced at Caroline.

"I think so," she smiled, shyly. "I still feel – strange. But – not like before. I don't feel like – like I've got this stranger living inside of me – I just don't feel like I quite fit into my own skin."

"Give it time," Devin advised. "You should eat something – you haven't touched anything in your pack since we started out."

"Food?" Caroline said, as if it had only just occurred to her to be hungry. "How long have we been down here?"

"Couple days, I think," Fin sat down and handed Caroline her pack – she tore into it, discovering the smoked meat and dried food. "Take it easy – you'll hurt yourself eating too much after an extended fast," he warned.

"Sorry," Caroline said through a mouth full of beef and dried apricots. She swallowed. "I didn't even realize I was hungry – or that trail ration could taste so good!"

Simon watched – smiling inwardly. She would be all right. She would really, truly be all right…

"When was the last time you ate anything?" queried Devin.

"Me – I've been munching as I walked – Brooke makes a good trail mix," Simon told him.

Devin tossed him some dried meat anyway. "Protein – good for you."

"Don't even think about arguing," added Fin.

"Yes, Sir," Simon smiled at him and pushed a chunk of smoked salmon into his mouth – it was amazingly good…

They spread their blankets in the darkness – Devin slept on one side and Fin on the other – although there was no sign of any life, Devin still had trepidations. Both men fell easily into light sleep…

Caroline settled herself comfortably – the ground was soft, the blankets warm… she noticed Simon was still sitting, staring into the darkness. "Simon?"

"Just – thinking," he said softly. He was still aware of the barrier between them – he wondered if it had always been there and he'd just never noticed it before… or was it truly something new? Simon wondered if she'd ever let him back in – if she even knew how… so much had changed in thirty some odd days…

"Any thoughts you want to share?"

"I was thinking about the snow war in Brooke's back yard – remember?"

She laughed, softly, "I do. I don't think I made a very good first impression on your mother."

"Probably not."

"You should sleep," Caroline told him, "You've got to be exhausted."

"I am. But – I can't quite sleep, either."

"Will you – at least lay with me?"

"Sure," he crawled over and curled up around her, offering her the warmth of his body – the comfort of human touch. "I still love you," he whispered.

"I know."


	13. part thirteen

_I just wanted to take a second to thank again the folks who have been following this story - your feedback is really what keeps me going (because this one has surprised the heck out of me with its twists and turns...)__ Thank you so much for sticking with me on the roller coaster - and happy reading!_

**Chatper Twenty Five:**

"This is some place, Care," Simon said to her as they at last reached the catacombs – an awkwardness had settled over them on the long walk back. She was trying to pretend nothing was wrong … but he knew something was – he knew she knew it too… He would say that he loved her – and she would just smile.

Friends, Simon told himself. He could be her friend – though he longed to be more – he would have to understand if she no longer wanted more…because something was so much better than nothing at all, and so much had changed so quickly for her… she'd lost and found everything that she was… and he wondered if she'd ever really feel whole or complete again.

Devin and Fin were givingthem botha wide berth – Simon couldn't begin to imagine what it must be for them – to have known her all her life and suddenly have her change – become a different person… she looked the same. She sounded the same. The colour had come back to her cheeks – she smiled – she even laughed. But – she was different somehow. They all knew it. Something deep inside had shifted…

"Simon," Caroline looked up at him. He'd been quiet most of the walk back – he'd held her hand, sat with her when they stopped to rest or eat – even slept right next to her – but he had said very little… she could feel his love – and his pain… pain she had caused when she told him to go away… and she didn't know how to begin fixing that… if it could be fixed at all… And now they were almost home… he would be returning to his world of sunlight. She would remain in the shadow…she feared that she'd never see him again. "I – I'm sorry. So very, very sorry."

"For what?"

"Hurting you. I – I lost my ability to feel – I wasn't sure – I didn't know what I'd find down here, just that I needed to get away from everything and everyone to try and find myself again."

"I know."

"No – you don't. You can't."

"But I do," he brushed the hair from her face; he cheeks didn't seem so sunken now, her eyes were no longer ringed with dark circles. "I understand."

"That doesn't mean you forgive me."

Simon smiled, just a little, gazing down into her sapphire eyes, "No – I suppose understanding and forgiving are two different things." He looked up – Fin and Devin had just caught up with them – he was sure they were trying to give he and Caroline space so they could talk.Unfortunately talking didn't seem to be something that either he or Caroline was very good at right now... "So who was she?"Simon asked of the grave, easing himself to the sandy ground beside the headstone to rest his leg. He felt ready to sleep for a week…

"Anna Pater was one of the founders of our community – I think – I think she had more of a role than anyone knows – but I don't know how I know that. Or maybe it was all just a dream brought on by the darkness. My father went through – a lot – when he was my age. It's a family thing," she glanced away from him. There was so much left unsaid – so much she wanted to say but didn't know how…

"Would this be a good time for me to go?" Simon asked, although he wasn't sure he actually knew the way. He glanced up at Fin and Devin, hoping for some help… maybe if he gave her more space – maybe that's what she still needed. Space… God it hurt to think of not seeing her again for another month… or more…

"I can show you the way," Devin offered kindly – he eased himself to the ground. "Man, I'm getting old in my old age."

Fin laughed, "You just speak for yourself."

"I don't see you complaining any about taking a break."

"Kids need it – so do you, old man," he grinned.

Caroline smiled at their banter – it was like everything was all right. But – "Simon," she reached out for him, and was grateful when he didn't pull away, but rather drew her down into his lap, "I – I'd like you to meet my father. If – you want to."

"Yeah – sure – I'd love to," he had to work not to sound too excited. "If you're ready – I mean – I know there's stuff I don't know. It's up to you – I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me everything all at once. Take whatever you need – however much time – or space." Saying the words out loud hurt even more than thinking them…

Caroline gave her uncles a pleading look – Devin nodded and forced himself to his feet – they headed further up the path.

"Simon – I – there's so much – I don't know where to start."

"Don't worry about it. I'll always be here." _Always love you…_

"Please – I have to know – do you think you'll ever forgive me for what I said? For trying to make you go away?"

"I love you too much not to."

"Do you really mean that?"

"You're the one who can feel other people's emotions," he smiled, "What do you think?"

"That I'm too close to you to know for sure. How did you find me – really?"

"I had a dream – in it an old woman came to me. She told me that you were my anchor – and I was your beacon. I've never heard anything that sounded so right. When I told Brooke, Geoffrey and Kip about the dream – and the woman in it – they said that it must mean something. I think they were right. I just wish I understood who she was – and why she came to me. I wish I could make it make sense."

"Not everything makes sense, Simon," Caroline told him. "I don't know why I dreamed about Anna Pater – I never knew her – I never even knew her husband – I just know that he hurt my father. He hurt a lot of people."

"Your mother told me about the Paters – and your father," he said, and felt her bristle. "She was – trying to help me understand what was happening to you, when you wouldn't come see me."

"I couldn't come to you."

"I know." Simon stared at the lonely grave for a long moment. "Cathy told me he killed her – her own husband killed her."

"Poison," said Caroline. "Paracelsus – John – he liked to call himself that – went mad, I think. He killed a lot of good people. He – impersonated my grandfather at a time when my father's senses were askew already – a time when my father was vulnerable. He wanted Father to kill him – he wanted to drive Father over the edge."

"Why?"

"He wanted my father to be like him, not like Grand Father."

Simon took her hand. "He's dead now."

"But sometimes I feel like his ghost is still with us. An evil thing, hiding in the dark."

"There's no such thing as ghosts."

"What about Narcissa?'

Simon shrugged, "I don't think she's a ghost. I – don't know what to think about her – but I don't think she's a ghost. When we die, we either go to Heaven or Hell – there isn't some in between when we get to haunt the earth."

"Who decides where we go?"

"God does – that's what my dad says. I think _we_ decide – by the way we live. If we're good – do the right stuff, at least most of the time – we go to Heaven. If not," he shrugged.

"That's it – it's that simple?"

"It's probably a little more complicated in practice," admitted Simon - Caroline was very - prickly about the whole subject, it seemed.

"And the innocent? A fourteen year old, brutally murdered, who never did anything wrong but be born poor – and have moron for a brother who thought he could cheat a major crime boss? What about her – where does she go?"

"Ouch," said Simon. Her tone was sharp.

"Sorry. Someone I know. I guess – that one's personal."

"I'm sure – if she died – she went to Heaven."

Caroline scoffed quietly, "You can ask her yourself, the next time we go dancing."

Simon studied her features for a long moment, unsure what to say. Finally, he gave up on the whole Heaven and Hell conversation… it was more his dad's thing than his anyway. "So you think your dream about Anna means something?"

"I know it does. I just – don't know what. I know it'll take a while for me to figure it out. Anna drew me here for something. Her ghost – or her memory – brought me to her grave – the same way Narcissa drew me down below the catacombs to the darkest place there was. I needed the darkness to find myself. I needed you," she cast a sidelong glance up at him; hervoice became barely a whisper."I still need you."

Simon closed his eyes – needed him… it wasn't the same as loving him… but it was a step.

"Did I say something wrong?" she asked, fearfully – it was like nothing she could say would ever be right… or maybe she'd just hurt him so badly… he'd come to find her… and maybe he did love her. But that didn't mean he was in love with her…and how could she blame him, now that he'd seen what she was, inside...that she wasn't like him – wasn't even human..

"You didn't say anything wrong," Simon said softly, daring to wrap his arms just a little more tightly around her… daring to dream… to remember what it had been like before, between them… They'd be home soon… his bed would feel so cold… so empty… he took in her scent – that light musk that was a part of her… "But – does – does this mean that you don't want me to go away any more?"

Caroline laid her head on his shoulder. "I am sorry. I just thought if you went away, it would hurt less. I didn't want you to see me like that – I didn't want you to see me – for who and what I really am."

"Why?"

"I was afraid. I thought – I thought you wouldn't be able to love me if you knew," she tilted her head up, and searching his face – the depths of his eyes – she wondered if he really knew… or did he think it had been nothing more than a dream that they'd somehow shared? She opened her mouth – but he was speaking, so she listened...

"How could you ever have thought that I wouldn't love you exactly as you are?"

"Because _I_ don't always love me exactly as I am. I love my father – and I always feel like I'm betraying him somehow when I – feel spite towards that part of myself."

"We all have days when we don't like ourselves – I'm sure he's no exception."

"That doesn't make me feel any less guilty."

"It sounds like you and your dad have a lot to talk about – are you sure you want me to meet him – now?"

"I am. But – honestly only if you want to. Simon – we don't always like the answers to the questions."

"I told you before that I wanted to be a part of your life – I'll always be your friend – and I'll always be here for you."

_Friend…_ the word rang through her mind… had she really hurt him so badly that he wouldn't trust her again…? "Do you remember kissing me in the dark?" she asked.

"How could I forget?"

"Will you – kiss me like that – ever again?"

"You told me not to."

Caroline smiled up at him, "You did anyway."

"I guess I did," he returned her smile and kissed her forehead, lightly.

Caroline closed her eyes and listened to his heart beating for a long while. Three words… she'd said them before… how hard could it be to say them again…? How hard could it be when the only thing she feared was that he would never trust her enough to love her – _really_ love her, ever again… "Simon – you know there are all kinds of love."

"I know," he held her just a little more tightly. Almost home… time to let go… just one more minute with her… one more moment to dream…

"I – I love you."

"I know you do," he forced himself to smile. _Friends…_

_Friends…_ she felt his thought – felt the stab of pain that went with it. "Please – tell me what you want – what you _really_ want," Caroline begged him... even if it hurt, she had to know...

"I want to be a part of the rest of your life in whatever way you'll let me. I know you're young. A lot of things could happen when you do go away to school, even if it isn't as far away as Boston. But – I love you. I'll wait. I'll give you however much space you think you need to figure yourself out."

"There's one thing I have figured out – I love you. I need you. Please – I know I hurt you – but please don't hold it against me for the rest of my life – I was just scared. I was stupid."

"You were just scared," he told her. "And I don't hold it against you." Simon held her – held his breath – listened to her heart beating… could she really have just said what he thought she had…? He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers… and there was nothing 'just friends' about the way she kissed him back… "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Simon heard his voice saying. "I want to be with you always. You're my life – everything wonderful in the world." He held her tight – felt her warmth… felt her pull away, but only after a long, wonderful moment...a moment filled with... promise...

"We should go," Caroline whispered, "Before things get – carried away."

Simon nodded, "I didn't mean – you know – that's not how I think of you – I mean I do – I'd like to – some day. When you're ready. You tell me – when you're ready."

She smiled and kissed him once more, softly on the lips – then she stood and offered him a hand up. Simon waved her off – grinning, Caroline grabbed his wrist and hauled him to his feet. "I told you. I'm strong enough to really hurt you."

"Just remind me not to get into any arm wrestling contests with you," Simon felt the last brick in the wall around her heart give way…

**Chapter twenty-six**

Simon heard the rush of water before they rounded the last bend and came to a wide river with steep stone banks. A stone bridge had been built over it – it looked a hundred years old. "Incredible," he said, gazing at it.

Caroline took his hand and led the way across – Fin and Devin were waiting on the other side, where lanterns were hung every fifty yards along the cavern wall, to illuminate the path home, bathing the tunnels in soft golden light – where the pipes began and soft tapping could already be heard. She could tell by the message coming across that Fin and Devin must have already let everyone know that they were coming home – and almost half way there. Her father, it seemed, was looking forward to meeting Simon…who had found out from Kip about Simon's foray into the Tunnels after her...

Simon stopped midway across the bridge and gazed down at the crystal clear water rushing past, almost twenty feet below. "Where does it come from?"

"Probably the some underground spring," she told him. "And it goes towards an underground sea."

Simon put his arms around Caroline's slim waist and held her close, "And this – this is home?"

She nodded. "Where I grew up – where I played – this bridge marks the edge of our home – the places we tend, live – maintain."

"I don't know if I'd why you ever wanted to leave."

"Human nature, I guess," Caroline pulled him closer, enjoying the strength of his arms around her. _Human…_ something she wasn't quite fully…

"Thank you," Simon leaned in and kissed her cheek lightly.

"For what?"

"For sharing this with me."

"This place is a part of who I am – I – I'm not sure what the next few years are going to bring – but I'm re-evaluating a lot of things right now."

"Not me I hope," he held herfor a moment more. Fin and Devin were already well ahead of them again.

"Never. Mom's here," she said – looking up, she saw that her mother was indeed walking towards them. Caroline had_ felt_ her. Her joy – her apprehension – it was visible on her face as well… Caroline broke way from Simon and ran towards her mother, flinging her arms around her, "I'm so sorry! I know I was horrible! I didn't even like being around me!"

Catherine smiled and held her daughter tightly, "As long as it's over," she said softly. It felt so good to have her daughter close again – to not be afraid that the slightest thing would send her into a rage…

"It's over," Caroline promised.

"Than there's no need to apologize – Simon," Catherine smiled – with one arm still around Caroline, she crossed the distance between them.

"Cathy," he smiled; Catherine was dressed in a long knitted dress – layers of white and cream draped around her – sweaters, scarves – she looked like an extra from Les Mis… and suddenly her arms were around him – he returned her hug.

"Thank you," Catherine said softly.

"For what?"

"For bringing my daughter back to me."

"I didn't do anything."

"Kip told us everything."

"Oh."

"It's pretty much impossible to keep a secret around here," Caroline warned him.

Simon just grinned, "I'm used to that. You should try keeping a secret in my parent's house, with Ruthie around."

"Speaking of – your brother has been very worried about you."

"How long were we gone?"

"Seven days."

Simon felt his jaw loosen. "Seven – wow. It didn't seem like it."

"It is difficult to mark time so far down," Catherine assured him.

"Did – did Matt mention my folks – they're not on their way out here to look for me – or get the FBI involved or something, are they?"

Catherine chuckled softly, "No, not yet. And luckily if they did, we have George Huang on our side. All the same, you should probably take my cell phone up to the park tomorrow morning and call them to say that you're all right. I told your brother you'd gone hiking with Caroline – although I don't really think he believed me."

In the morning …take her cell up to the park… "Does this mean I'm invited to stay for a while?"

"A few days. Father will have some choice words for you regarding walking so far on a wound that wasn't quite healed. So, I suspect will Joel."

"Joel – knows?"

"As does Peter Alcott," Catherine walked between Simon and Caroline, one arm draped around each. "And Kyle McCarty, now."

"Who else?'

"We are lucky to have many, many friends Above - come on - let's get you both back home so you can rest. It has been a long, long seven days," she favoured her daughter with a warm smile, "Your father and siblings have been very worried."

>

"Good Heavens, you _were_ hungry," Mary beamed with pleasure as Simon helped himself to a second sandwich.

He sat in a big oak chair in "Father's" chamber, a wide stone room filled with books and old furniture, and more books and flickering candles – a chessboard sat at the ready in one corner… the room smelled of sweetly scented wax, lemon oil, well tended leather and old books… Caroline had gone to see her father. And get cleaned up. Simon wished for an opportunity to do the same – but it didn't look as if it was going to be forthcoming any time soon… Still he'd been given a few moments to rise off with a cloth and warm water from a jug in an old fashioned basin, just before the woman who introduced herself as Mary brought him a plate of sandwiches and a glass of milk; she had explained that Father would be here soon to see to his leg.

"What time of day is it, anyway?" Simon asked. There had only been a few people about as they came into what Cathy called the main hub. She and Caroline had left him here, alone – although it hadn't taken Mary long to arrive.

"Quite late, I imagine," said Mary. "Well past the dinner hour."

"Thanks again," Simon said, polishing off the sandwich – he hadn't really realized just how hungry he was… he chugged back the rest of the milk.

"Well, I see your apatite hasn't suffered," saidthe stern faced old man who entered the chamber just then. He was hunched over slightly, putting most of his weight on a simple wooden cane; inthe otherhand he carried a black leather medical bag. "No – sit," he said asSimon began to get up,"Let's not put any more weight on that leg of yours."

Gratefully, Simon eased himself back into the chair. Now that everything was over, his leg seemed determine to let him know how stupid he'd been… it throbbed from his hip down to his toes… the rest of him hurt, too and he was definitely ready to sleep for a week. Maybe two.

"How are you, faring, then?" Jacob asked, settling himself in the chair just opposite the boy.

"None the worse for ware, Sir."

"I think you'd best let me be the judge of that."

"So – um – I guess you know who I am."

Jacob gave the boy a dark look. "Caroline's – a-hem – friend from California, a young man who seems determined to abuse his body to the point of exhaustion." _And who may have brought Caroline back to us_, Jacob added silently; he'd seen to Caroline first, partly because if this child could walk back here, than he was well enough to wait for a few moments… but mostly because Jacob had to see for himself that Caroline was really all right. She had told him the whole story – including Simon's dreams of Narcissa – and the way he'd come to her in the darkness… and Jacob remembered vividly what had happened when Catherinewent to Vincent in the darkness…

Simon felt warmth creep into his cheeks at the old man's sharp words… "Um – yes, Sir – Simon Camden," he held out his hand.

"I'm – well, I've had a few names over the years. Why don't we just start with Dr. Wells and see how things progress," Jacob accepted the young man's handshake.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir. I've heard a great deal about you – I mean – Caroline speaks very highly of you – obviously I never heard about all this."

Jacob hid his amusement – he actually felt a little sorry for the boy. He had been through Hell and back – and really all for the sake of Caroline? "And _I_ hear you've had quite an adventure. A month isn't really enough time for a deep tissue wound to heal itself properly."

"No – I mean – yeah, it hurts pretty bad. But I'll live. Won't I?"

Jacob chuckled, "I should think so. Mary – if you'll excuse us – Simon, I'd like to take a good look at that wound."

"Oh," Mary blushed and absented herself quickly.

Simon removed his pants – and listened to a great deal of tisking… "Peter will probably want to put you under some fancy equipment to see if you've done any real damage – but I don't think it's really any worse for wear. All the same, I'd like you to stay off it for a couple of days – you've started physical therapy?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Than you should continue with whatever exorcises they have you doing – but don't push yourself for the first few days. You want to keep your muscles limber – without aggravating that wound any further."

"Yes, Sir. Does that man I can have a bath?"

"I don't see why not – the warm water might do you some good. So – both Kip and Caroline tell me you saw Narcissa in a dream."

"That's who Kip said it was – I don't really know. I saw her a couple of times along the way – or maybe I just imagined it. I don't know. I never really knew why she was there," Simon pulled his jeans back on.

Jacob merely smiled. "There are things in this world that defy explanation."

"I'm beginning to believe that."

"Well then, other than the obvious, how are you faring?" Jacob queried, fixing the boy with a long hard stare. Simon was a good looking child – well, not really a child, but then neither was Caroline, not in the ways that mattered…which still didn't make Jacob any happier. He would have preferred it if Caroline had chosen a suitor from amongst the young men Below… someone who would understand her – understand her background… understand why she was the way she was. And Jacob definitely did not like the earrings…

"Just tired – sore," said Simon… he was aware of the old man's scrutiny. "Relieved."

"Relieved?"

"That Caroline's ok again – she is ok, isn't she?"

"For now."

"What – does that mean?"

"It means that she will always be subject to extremes of emotion. She is still very young."

"I – know."

"No, I don't think you do. No – just listen, Simon," Jacob leaned forward. "Being young for her means more than – more than being too young for certain activities that we're not going to discuss because I knowwe don't have to. Do we?"

"No, Sir."

"Good," Jacobnodded. "Being young means that she's still learning how to – how to live in her own shell. She's learning to cope with the things that make her unique – things over which no one has any control – but things that if left uncontrolled could prove disastrous to her – and those she loves. Caroline possesses uncommon strength and greater senses than you or I do,Simon. No teenager has it easy – something I am sure you must remember. This is a tumultuous time under the best of circumstances – but for Caroline it is worse because she knows that she _must_ control her emotions. When they over take her – you saw her in the darkness – you must understand something of what you saw."

"I – do. And – I'll be there for her – whatever she needs. Whatever you and her parents tell me she needs. I don't know how to help her – but I'm willing to learn."

"The truth is that even we don't always know. Jake went through a period of this sort of tumultuousness that was very mild, by comparison. What Caroline has gone through – is still going through – is in many ways worse than what her father went through."

"You mean – it isn't over?"

"Simon – it will never betrulyover. Vincent struggled with his – inner self – his darker half – for years. Even when he thought he had conquered it, it still came to the surface when he was pushed too hard – manipulated into being something that he is not."

Simon nodded, "Cathy told me the story – Caroline filled in some of the blanks."

"Than what you must realize is that Caroline is her father's daughter. She has many of those same predilections."

"You – you really don't like her going to school – Above, do you?"

"I make no great effort to hide that fact, no," Jacob told the boy, though he was impressed at the child's ability to put things together. "It's a miracle she never lashed out at any of those girls she goes to school with."

"Will she be ok – I mean – she's ok now – even if it isn't really 'over' – she's ok?"

"Caroline seems to be mostly recovered from the experience," Jacob told him, cautiously. "But – if you are really making the kind of commitment to her that she _believes_ you are – than you are in for a lifetime of this."

Simon found himself smiling.

"Something about this strikes you as amusing?"

"No – Sir – I was just thinking about my sister Lucy and her husband – and how maybe my father should have sat him down and given him the same warning you're giving me. Lucy's not like Caroline – but she's an emotional handful. But Kevin loves her. And – I love Caroline. If she'll have me, I'm in this for life."

Jacob leaned back in his chair. He gave the boy marks for tenacity, anyway… "It's late – and there will be plenty of time to discuss things like lifetime commitments tomorrow." Or the next day… Jacob was sure that he felt the way Simon looked… "I'll send for one of the children to take you to the bathing chamber – and see that a guest chamber is prepared for you. We aren't a luxury hotel, you understand."

Simon smiled, "I've spent a week in these cloths, sleeping on the ground eating trail mix – anything that resembles a hot bath and bed would be great. Thank you."

Feeling the weight of his years, Jacob stood – locating a guide for Simon wasn't difficult. Caroline's return had driven most of the children from their beds, as they were all eager to see for themselves that she was back safely – and that her 'boyfriend' had returned with her... and they were all eager to meet him…Jacob cast another long look at Simon. Boyfriend… at her age… and his…

Simon was just as happy when his 'guide' arrived. Despite the civility of their conversation, he had the distinct impression that Caroline's grandfather didn't quite like him… or at the very least, didn't approve. He only hoped that Caroline's father would be more understanding…

"I'm Terry," said the boy who came in to show him around; he had shocking red hair and a bright, eager smile – and he looked barely older than Sam and David. He wore a knitted green sweater that hung almost down to his knees, with the sleeves pushed way up and pinned in place by huge safety pins… under it he wore another long sleeved shirt and a pair of baggy trousers that were also rolled up. His shoes, at least, seemed a good fit…

"It's nice to meet you Terry. I'm Simon," he eased himself to his feet – the boy handed him his cane.

"Caroline's Simon," Terry nodded eagerly. "Come on – 'night Father!"

"Good night, Terry – and remember, no dawdling."

"No, Sir."

Simon chuckled… 'Caroline's Simon' – Simon liked the way that sounded. He followed the boy down the long, mostly empty tunnel. "It must be late," he opined.

"A little."

"Doesn't that make it a little late for you to be up?"

"I was up anyway. I don't hardly sleep."

"Do your parents live down here?"

"Nope. I live with Mouse and Jamie and Rachel. They found me."

"I see," said Simon, although he didn't quite see…

"I like Mouse – he lets me help him build stuff. I'm good at building stuff. Maybe I can show you tomorrow."

"I'd like that."

"And Rasputin just had babies – which means that he's really a she of course – but I might get to keep one. If Father says it's ok. He thinks that pets are a bad idea. Do you have any pets?"

"I have a dog named Happy – but she lives with my parents in California."

"I've never been to California. But I know where it is. Grace showed us on a map. That's where she's from. Well – not originally. She comes from outer space – I want to be a astronaut someday and go out there too – Grace told us lots about other places!"

"All right," said a new voice in the hall – Simon looked up to see a pretty middle aged woman standing in a doorway – she had shoulder lengthy, curly dark hair and a pleasant smile - and the same 'Little House on the Prairie' attire as everyone else down here... "I think you've talked our guest's ear off enough for one night, Terry."

"Aww – but everybody here's already heared everything I gots to say!"

"Everyone here has already _heard_ everything I _have_ to say," Olivia corrected him gently.

"That's what I just said!"

Olivia shook her head, "Just take Simon to wherever it is you were supposed to take him and get on to bed, Mister."

"Yes, Ma'am," the boy pouted.

Both Olivia and Simon laughed; she crossed the hall and extended her hand, "I'm Olivia, by the way."

"Simon – but I bet you knew that already."

"I did," her smile was warm – then turned her dark, motherly, look to the boy, "And you remember what I said. Do what you're supposed to do and then off to bed with you. No dawdling."

"How come everyone always says that to me?"

"Because you are very good at dawdling," Olivia told him.

Grumbling, the boy led Simon the rest of the way in near silence...

>

The bathing chamber was more than Simon had imagined it would be – a huge pool, fed by a natural hot spring, enclosed within in a spacious stone room, lit by candlelight. After Terry showed him where to find clean towels – and where to put his dirty towels – Simon stripped off the filthy clothing - seven day old clothing (he couldn't begin to imagine how he must smell!) and eased himself into the warm, chest high water… "If this is a dream, I'm not sure I want to wake up," Simon mused softly as the water washed away dirt and grime along with all the soreness of his aching muscles… it even did something to make his insides feel better… Everything was going to be all right. Caroline was back – closing his eyes, he could almost smell her – he felt her heart beating – and smiled…

"Knock, knock," called a male voice, just outside the chamber. It wasn't Terry – the speaker definitely wasn't a child.

"Um – yeah, hi," Simon wasn't sure what social protocols were around here…

The man laughed, "Mind if I come in?"

"No – sure," Simon managed.

"My name's Kanin – you met my wife in the hall."

"Olivia," Simon nodded.

Kanin was a good looking man with silver hair and a friendly smile – and an arm full of cloths. "Liv and I thought you might like something clean to change into – and some soap, razor, new toothbrush, toothpaste," he held up each item in turn – the tooth paste was in a small metal tin – like so many other things Below, it was also home made.

"Thank you," Simon didn't know quite what else to say.

Kanin just smiled, "Word is you're meeting Vincent for the first time tonight - I don't think meeting one's girlfriend's father is easy under the best of circumstances."

"Yeah," Simon realized he felt more than just a little nervous about that…

"Well – here you go then," Kanin set down the bundle on the long bench that stood against one wall and set a small basket of toiletries – which also included a comb – down next to the lip of the pool.

"Thanks I – really appreciate it."

The man just shrugged, smiling good naturedly. "If you need anything else, you know where our chamber is – don't hesitate to come by."

"Thank you," Simon called – Kanin left him to finish his bath. Simon scrubbed rigorously. He brushed his teeth – and shaved the scruff off his face (very carefully – he'd never had to shave without a mirror before)… seven days… how had seven days gone by and he didn't even notice…? He hadn't really even noticed how brungy he felt was until he'd thought about it...

Simon dried himself off and looked through the clothing. Kanin was of similar in size and build… a warm, soft sweater – a shirt of soft, undyed, unbleached osnaburg (it hung down to his hips, although maybe it was supposed to…?)over it a patchwork vest of leather and fabric – soft, knitted trousers… clean socks. Simon looked down at himself, wondering if anyone at all would recognize him – he looked like he'd just stepped off the set of some old movie… he ran the comb through his hair, deposited the dirty towel where he'd been instructed and scooped up his own belongings… And wasn't at all surprised to find Caroline waiting for him just outside the bath chamber.

She smiled. She was beautiful… more beautiful than he'd ever seen her before… Her long hair hung loose around her shoulders, still damp from her own bath; she wore a cream coloured dress of simple design, long andflowing – a thick shawl of many muted shades of green covered her shoulders – he noticed she was wearing the bracelet he'dgiven her…

"Hope I didn't keep you waiting long," Simon felt himself blushing.

"Not really."

He just – gazed at her, taking in the sight – this was his Caroline – the girl he knew and loved… and yet…

Caroline's brows knitted together, just slightly, "What?"

"Hmm?"

"You're staring at me as if you've never seen me before."

"I haven't. Not like this – not at home."

"And?"

"And I like what I see."

Caroline flushed with mixed embarrassment and pleasure, "Well, you don't look so bad yourself," she straightened the collar of his shirt – it was an antiquated design; Caroline had no idea why her extended family had come to shun so much of the modern world. Her father's idea of advanced technology was an old fashioned gramophone… "Ready?" she asked Simon.

"Ready?"

"You said you wanted to meet my father. He and Mother are waiting in their chamber."

"Right. Meet the parents," he squirmed. "Too late to back out of that one, isn't it?"

Caroline chuckled, "I'm afraid so."


	14. part fourteen

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

The night air was brisk – hell, it was damn cold. Fin zipped up his leather coat and headed across the park to Cathy's building, where he'd left his car. Seven days. Damn.

He slid into the driver's seat and pulled his cell from the glove compartment – battery still had some juice – he hit the speed dial.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Robbie – Fin – I'm back topside – Devin's Below, probably in bed by now."

"Caroline?" she queried, anxiously.

"Seems to be fine. You hear about Simon trekking out after us?"

"My God – no – is he –?"

"Meeting Vincent tonight."

"Oh."

Fin chuckled. Oh. That was a good word for it. "Devin'll call you tomorrow – and I think he plans to be on a plane real soon. I just wanted to let you know we were back."

"Thanks – go get some rest yourself – you sound exhausted."

"I am. Night," he started his car.

"Good night."

>

Fin navigated the never-empty streets back to the Soho loft he shared with the most beautiful woman in the world – at least in his world. The lift seemed to take forever… and when it finally opened out into the warm, welcoming loft, every light was off… Fin flipped the switch, bringing light to the quiet loft. They'd talked about getting a cat – but between them, he and Diana barely had time to take care of their single house plant.

Passing her desk on his way into the kitchen, Fin saw pictures of teenaged girl were thumb-tacked to the cork board – she was a cheerleader it seemed and played the clarinet… looked about thirteen… There was an open diary. Even without reading it, he could tell by the curly, swirly, exaggerated penmanship that it likely belonged to the same teenaged girl in the photos. A shoebox full of typical teenaged mementos sat open next to it – friendship bracelets, a lock of hair, a couple of ribbons and medals from competitions of some sort – Fin didn't recognize any of the organization names… hetried not topay any of it toomuch attention, despite his natural curosity. Diana's desk was the one thing in this apartment that was hers and hers alone…

There was no note in the kitchen telling him where she'd gone. There usually wasn't;she never knew when she would be home. It had been difficult at first, learning not to worry about her – but she'd been gracious enough to give him what space he needed, especially when they'd first started seeing on another, back when he was in narcotics and doing a lot of undercover work.

Fin poured a glass of water, grabbed the cordless phone off the receiver and walked into the living room, to his desk. He found the numbers he wanted in the rolodex and praying for answering machines, he dialed the local number first. His prayer was answered; Fin listened to the message while he poured the water onto the potted rose bush next to the sofa.

"This is Matt and Sarah – you know what to do – and if this is Simon – call mom and dad! They're worried sick." _Beep _

"Matt – Sarah – Fin Tutuola – your brother's fine," he grabbed the scissors off the coffee table and carefully removed a couple of wilted flower heads. "He'll call tomorrow – but I figured you guys should hear tonight that everything's ok and we're back in the city. Have a good one," he hung up. One down, one to go.There was no luck this time,as a real person picked up the phone; a young voice answered. "Hey," Fin said in what he hoped was a kid-appropriate tone, "Can I talk to Reverend or Mrs. Camden?" He made his way back to the kitchen to get a beer. Fin had the feeling he was going to need it...

Helistened to the child yell _Dad – phone_ – then something went crash – tumble... thud!

G_osh darn it!_ – cried a female voice in the background – _Kevin can you PLEASE get Savannah! _

_Luce, my hands are kinda full here –! _

Another female voice boomed over the noise: C_ould _**someone**_ get the phone – if it's a telemarketer I'm not here! - _that one was Mrs. Camden…

Fin twisted the cap off his beer and listened to more background noise… if it was ten o'clock here, it had to be about five o'clock there – and dinner at the Camden house sounded even more chaotic than dinner at the Grays… finally, a younger female answered, "Camden residents."

"Hi – can I talk to Reverend or Mrs. Camden, please?"

"Who should I say is calling?"

"Ruthie Camden?" Fin asked – it had to be. He'd heard Simon describe his kid sister often enough.

"Who is this?"

"Fin Tutuola – don't worry," he added to her sharp intake of breath… too late…

"Mom – Dad! It's that police officer from New York – Simon's friend!"

Several moments later, Annie Camden's voice came over the receiver. "Hello? Detective Tutuola?"

"Evenin', Mrs. Camden – everything's fine."

"Where's Simon?"

"He's fine – he's probably asleep by now – he's stayin' over with Cathy and her family tonight." Well, it was close to the truth… in the background, Fin could hear Reverend Camden asking what was going on – the misses shushed him – and everyone else…

"Where was he – we've been worried sick – what's going on!" Annie demanded.

Fin sighed – he'd known this wouldn't be easy. "Caroline and Simon had – whatever it is kids their age have when one decides not to talk to th' other. Me an' Devin took Caroline on a hike – and Simon followed."

"_Hike_ – Simon said she was sick!"

"I know. Look – I just wanted you folks to know he's ok – he did a lot more walking on his leg than he should've – but he's ok."

"Why didn't he call himself?"

"He'll call tomorrow – right now he's just too tired – he doesn't even know I'm calling you."

"Oh. Well – thank you – I mean – I appreciate it. You're sure he's ok?"

"He's fine, Ma'am. Honest – an' I got a kid about his age – I know I'd worry if he fell off the face of the earth, too – I figured sooner was better than later to hear that Simon was ok."

"You have a son?"

Fin chuckled – somehow that revelation always caught people off guard. "Before Diana I was married – we had a kid. We got a divorce," he shrugged. "Anyway – it sounds like you've got your hands full over there – and it's after ten here."

"Right – sorry – thanks for calling," Annie wasn't sure she could remember how to breathe – Simon was ok… really ok… she hung up and relayed the news to the rest of the family…

>

Caroline tucked her arm into Simon's – then looked up at him, suddenly uncertain – of everything… despite their long talk… but he just smiled down at her… and she knew that smile. It was the way he'd always looked at her – his expression told her that he was happy. Even though she could feel it – she was still uncertain of her sense of empathy – but she knew that her eyes weren't lying. His expression softened as he gazed at her, and even if the broad grin were some sort of sham, his eyes didn't lie… She smiled back and he leaned over and kissed the top of her head – she leaned into him for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being near him again. "I really am sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be – all I care about is having you back," Simon wrapped his arms around her… it was safe to dream again – safe to hope… safe to love and be loved…

"Ready?" She asked, pulling away from him, just a little.

Simon just grinned, "How bad can it really be?"

Taking what she hoped wasn't an obvious deep breath, Caroline led the way…

Simon paid careful attention to the route they took – back down to the main passageway – past Olivia and Kanin's chamber – down past Father's chamber – Caroline pointed out the library and the side passage that led to the kitchen and dining hall. "And if you keep going, you eventually come to the Great Hall," she said, as she turned down a quiet, side passage that was less brightly lit than the main passageway. "My parent's chamber is down this way – Claudia and Jayne share a room further down – Jake has his own chamber now, but William and Charles are in the chamber across from the girls."

"What about you?"

"I've been staying in Elliot's chamber for the last few weeks, since he was laid up anyway – I'm afraid my – darkness – made it impossible for me to be around my sisters. I couldn't stand anyone's company – but especially not other women – it was really Claud who got the brunt of it."

"Have you talked to her since we got back?"

Caroline nodded, "She was just happy I'm all right," she blushed slightly, "And – that you came back with me. She likes you – in a would-be sister in law sort of way."

Simon felt a flush of warmth overtaking his own cheeks.

"I – I'm sorry – that was pretty presumptuous."

"No it wasn't."

Caroline stopped just outside her parents' chamber door, "Mother, Father," she called, not so loudly as to wake anyone else – although there were advantages to her parents not living directly off the main tunnel... "I'm back – with Simon."

"Come in," Catherine called out to them.

Simon felt Caroline squeeze his arm, "You ok?" he asked her.

"I've – never brought someone home to meet my parents before – they always assumed I'd meet someone here – someone – who already knew them – someone who understands."

"Look – I've met parents before – I can handle this."

"My parents aren't like the ones you've met before," there was no backing out now... taking a breath, Caroline led the way in through the wide stone arch that separated her parents' privacy from the rest of their world.

Simon followed her in – of course he was lying, he was nervous as anything. These weren't any parents – these were the parents of the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with… and he knew enough to realize that her father was different. He'd known it even before coming here… he just wished he knew what to expect…but in another heartbeat, it wouldn't matter, he'd know… Simon put on his best 'hi, I'm five years older than your daughter, but a real gentleman, honest' smile and stepped fully into the chamber.

It was a spacious book filled room, lit by candles and oil lamps – the first thing that struck him was the beautiful stained glass 'window' behind the bed… the second thing that struck him was the man lying in the bed, reading a book with Catherine… Broad shouldered – tall, he took up the entire length of the bed… his mane of golden hair was swept to one side… and his face was like the one Simon had seen on Caroline, in the darkness… older… masculine… but … he understood now what she'd been afraid of. That really was what was inside of her – not in some literal horror-movie sort of way – but his blood was in her veins. The blood that would run through the veins of any children they had…

Vincent – still dressed for the day in one of his favourite muslin shirts and a soft leather vest – rose and gave the boy a moment to collect himself before crossing the distance between them.

Simon took a breath. And then another… and made himself remember that this was the father of the girl he loved. This was the guy who had bandaged scraped knees and kissed away the tears – the guy who had read to her when she was a little girl – the guy who had introduced her to Rilke and Wordsworth and Shakespeare… _This_ was the guy who had instilled in Caroline all the things about her that Simon loved… he heard her make the formal introduction and took a step forward…

"Father – this is Simon – Simon – this is my father, Vincent Wells."

Simon took another step forward, and meeting the other's gaze full on, extended his hand, "Mr. Wells. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Sir."

Vincent had great difficulty keeping a straight face – he could not think of a single person who had ever called him 'Mr. Wells' – it sounded oddly absurd… "Please – just Vincent is fine, Simon" he replied, accepting the boy's handshake. He could hear the racing of Simon's heart and smell the slight perspiration gathering… but his handshake was firm. A good sign. "Please – come in and sit down. I believe you are already well acquainted with Catherine."

"Thank you, Sir – Cathy," he nodded in her direction, accepting the seat the Vincent had indicated. It was almost not-too-big – and Cathy's smile was pleasant – _just remember, she likes you…_ Simon tried to re-assure himself… if they were even a little bit like most couples, having the mother like him was over half the battle… he hoped… he had the distinct impression that getting Vincent to like him wasn't going to be an easy task…

Catherine continued to smile, "Would you care for a cup of tea, Simon?" She was partially changed for bed – though she still wore the soft knitted 'day dress,' Catherine had arranged her hair into a braid, which was much easier for sleeping – a trick she'd learned from Mary. She pulled her robe on as she slid out of the warmth of the covers and tucked her bare feet into thick lambskin slippers that sat just beside the bed.

"Oh – no – I don't want to be any bother – I know it's late," Simon told her.

"No bother," she stood and crossed the room to where the teapot was warming on the little stove. "All I have handy is honey, I'm afraid."

"That'd be great, thanks," Simon said, awkwardly.

"Caroline?" Catherine asked her daughter.

"Yes, please – thank you," Caroline said, fidgeting. Finally, she pulled the foot stool across from its usual resting place and took a seat on it, next to Simon – well aware of the scrutiny her father was giving them… she wanted to hold his hand – but… maybe not just yet… not in front of her father…

Not sure what to say – or do – Simon glanced up at Caroline's father. Everything else aside, he was a pretty big guy… "So – um – thanks – for letting me hang around for a little while. I mean – I'm – if it's not a lot of trouble."

"Caroline will show you to one of the guest chambers," Vincent said smoothly. He glanced at Catherine – she was grinning, although no one else could see her expression but him… yes, she was enjoying this just a little bit _too_ much… Vincent had never had to cope with quite this situation before…

Catherine straightened her expression before handing teacups on saucers to both Simon and Caroline – and then took her favourite seat. Vincent's lap… Caroline turned a deep shade of pink and glanced away from them… not that there was anything unusual about this level of affection within the privacy of their own chamber, even around their children… Catherine noticed that Simon didn't seem terribly bothered by it…

Vincent put his arms around her slim waist, grateful for her proximity, and turned his attention on 'the boy' – "So – I have heard a great deal about you from Caroline – including that you have decided to become a teacher?"

"Yes, Sir – um – actually it's kinda Caroline's fault. I mean – I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do – maybe something in math or science, but I didn't know what. Then she handed me some books – the first time I was here, in New York – and – I guess I got hooked."

"So you want to teach English then?" Catherine inquired.

"That's what I'd thought about – but now I'm thinking about trying to stay on where I am – if they'll hire me."

"The school for the deaf?" asked Vincent.

Simon nodded, "I really like it there. The faculty is great – and I love the students."

"It probably won't be the best paying job," Catherine cautioned him.

"Money isn't everything," he blushed suddenly, "I mean – not that I'm irresponsible about it. Well – I used to be – but that was a long time ago – a year ago. I – did some dumb stuff. But I've got my credit cards almost paid off. And – I mean, I like where I'm living, but I'm sure I'll have a house of my own some day…" Simon trailed off – they were giving him – interesting looks… "A some day that's a long ways off," he added, quickly. Next to him, Caroline was beet red.

"I see," Catherine slid off her husband's lap. "Caroline – why don't we take a walk and leave the men to their own. I have the sneaking suspicion our being here is only making things worse."

"Um," Caroline cleared her throat – she could feel how desperately Simon did not want to be alone in a room with her father right now… but there wasn't any getting out of it. "Sure, Mother," she forced a smile and accepted her mother's outstretched arm, giving Simon what she hoped was an encouraging look.

Simon watched her go – and realized he was staring after her – and that might not look good…

"Do you play chess?" Vincent queried, just after Catherine and Caroline had exited.

"A little."

"Come," Vincent rose and walked over to the desk where his chessboard was set up.

"I'm really not very good."

"That's all right – would you like black or white?"

"Either is fine, Sir."

"You really can stop calling me 'sir'," Vincent was still having a hard time keeping a straight face…

"Sorry – it's just the way I was raised, I guess."

"Raised to talk of things like houses and jobs with the father of a girl some five years younger than yourself?"

Simon flushed deep red, "Well – um – that is – she really doesn't quite look her age… I mean – not that I was looking."

"So – either you were looking and you want me to think other wise," Vincent set the pieces up on the board, "Or you think my daughter unattractive."

"She's beautiful!" Simon wiped the palms of his hands off on his pant legs. "But – that's not why I – feel the way I do about her. It's just – when we first met, I honestly thought she was a lot older than she is. Once she told me – it was too late."

"Too late?"

"I'd already – fallen."

"Fallen?"

"In love."

"Ah. I see," Vincent moved a pawn out. "Your move."

Simon looked at the board for the first time… he made a move… and immediately lost a piece to Vincent's next move. They made several more moves in silence before Simon found the courage to speak. "I – really do love her. I know – what you're probably thinking."

"You have no idea what I'm thinking," Vincent realized how much like his own father he suddenly sounded… what a horrifying thought for any child… although he couldn't honestly think of anyone else he'd rather be like… he hid his smile.

"No – I mean – I'm sure you're right. I can't know exactly what you're thinking." He lost another piece, this time a rook.

"So which is it? You know or you do not know what I am thinking?"

"I guess – I can guess."

"Very well. What do you guess I am thinking – if you move just there, you can capture my knight."

"I – um –"

"It's only a game, Simon. I won't think less of you if you beat me."

Simon wondered if it was _possible_ for Caroline's father to think any less of him… still, he made the suggested move… and there was no trick behind it. Vincent's next move seemed innocuous.

Simon considered carefully – then moved a rook…

"So?" Vincent queried, setting up a strategy in his mind that wouldn't make Simon feel too badly about loosing… not everyone had Father for a teacher.

"I – imagine what I'd be thinking if my sister Ruthie brought home a guy like me."

"Like you?"

"Five years older – barely a couple of semesters of college – I should be in my second year. I pretty much flunked out of the first university I went to because I didn't take it seriously enough."

"You aren't doing a very good job of presenting yourself in the best possible light."

"I guess – maybe not. But – I'd rather you hear it from me than someone else."

Vincent nodded and moved a knight into place… at this rate he would win in less than ten moves… Simon was clearly not much of a strategist. "You have a sister Caroline's age, do you not?"

"Ruthie. Yeah – and I'd want to knock the block off some guy five years older than her if he was putting the moves on my little sister – especially if he had my track record. Ruthie and me grew up in the same room," he added. "I almost got into with Martin's friend Mack more than once – Martin's this guy who lives with us. My family. His aunt moved to New York and his dad's in the military. He's one of about a half a dozen honourary Camdens."

"Honourary Camdens? I was under the impression that there were already quite a few of you."

Simon smiled and made his next move – only to get clobbered, as Vincent took out a bishop. "Seven of us. But – there's always room for one more where I come from."

"If you do that, you'll leave your queen vulnerable," Vincent cautioned as Simon started to move a pawn.

"Where?"

"In three moves – there to there – to there – to there. You see?"

"How can you be sure what moves I'll make?"

"There are a limited number of squares – therefore a limited number of possibilities. I have to assume that you will make the wisest choices possible, given the limitations of the circumstances."

Simon studied the options on the board – but the deeper meaning of Vincent's words weren't lost on him. "Sometimes you just have to go with your gut," he said at last.

Vincent nodded – but was impressed when Simon took his advice – on the chessboard at least.

They played for several moves in silence. It was Simon who broke it again, "I do love her."

"That is one thing I do not doubt. You took a great risk in following her."

"At the time it seemed like the only thing to do."

"And in hind sight?"

"I'd do it again tomorrow if she needed me to." Simon moved a knight – and realized that the game was almost over.

"And – would you do it all over – from the beginning."

"What – you mean do I regret getting involved in the first place?"

Vincent just nodded, "Check and mate," he said, as he finished the game.

"I wouldn't trade any part of the last ten months for anything in the world. I mean that."

Vincent met the other's gaze, squarely, though he admired Simon's obvious conviction. "Your family must have given you some grief over the situation – Caroline has said she doesn't believe they like her."

"They don't like her age. And my father has some opinions about the fact that you guys aren't real religious – he's a minister. So's my sister Lucy."

"You sound scornful."

"I guess – I grew up listening to my father preach – and not just on Sunday. I love my dad – but – I'm not him. I'm me. I'm not this perfect kid – I've screwed up – I don't know if Caroline told you – I mean – I'm no virgin. That doesn't mean I want to – this is going to turn into the whole whether or not I was really 'looking at her' isn't it?" he asked as the dark look formed on Vincent's face.

Vincent chuckled, though when he spoke, his voice betrayed the sobriety of the subject: "Let us just leave it that you realize my daughter is far too young for that sort of thing."

"Thanks – I kinda already went there with your father – he said the same thing, that I know she's too young. She's fifteen. But what's important is that she told me she's not ready. I respect that, I really do. It's just – _I_ was ready – or at least I thought I was – a little year ago – and it wasn't like I was a kid. And I was dating a girl who was ready – and then my family found out and they still haven't let me live it down."

Vincent sat back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap – of course the issue of – sex – had always been an issue in his youth… but the feelings coming from Simon were almost violently turbulent. "Did you hurt this woman in some way?"

"No! I mean – yeah, but not – sex had nothing to do with it. We just didn't work out. I know it hurt her when we broke up – it hurt me too. But – it's not like I regret it. Much."

"What do you regret?"

Simon took a breath, "I – she told me she was pregnant – she never was," he added quickly. "And – maybe I should have stopped there. I hooked up with – I mean – you know." But – looking at Caroline's father… could he know? Could he have any way of understanding what went on in the rest of the world… still, it was hard to think of him as naive …

"What matters is does _Caroline _know?"

Simon nodded, "It was one of the hardest conversations I've had with her. But – I'll never lie to her and I never want to hurt her."

"Sometimes – sometimes we cannot help but hurt the people we love, Simon. What matters is that you will never do it intentionally."

"Never. And I really don't believe I'm sitting here with my girlfriend's father talking about my sex life."

"Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger."

"But you're a stranger whose daughter I'm in love with. Look, I know you probably don't believe in this – in us – any more than my parents do, but I love her. I want to marry her some day – when she's ready. When we're both ready. And – I don't know if we'll have sex before we get married or not – but I know it's going to be her call and I know she's more together about that – and just about everything else – than I am." And dear God, if he wanted to, Simon realized that Vincent could really hurt him… and it struck him then the responsibility that Vincent must have to shoulder, living with people… the scar on Devin's cheek… and those hands… "All I'm asking for is the chance to prove myself. I'm in love with her, even if you _don't_ believe it."

"I believe that your intentions are honourable, Simon – and if they aren't, I believe in my daughter's ability to defend her virtue," he allowed a ghost of a smile to come upon his lips.

"She'll never have to."

Vincent nodded, "I _do_ believe that you love her very much – only a blind man could not see that – only the deaf could not hear it in your voice when you speak of her. As a father, these things bring me much joy. I believe that you would never go out of your way to hurt her – and that you want for her happiness as much as she wants for yours. However, setting all of that aside for a moment, what truly concerns me is – the obvious." He spread his hands wide.

"I knew it had to be something – even if I never could have begun to guess that – when she said you were different – I – I'm really afraid I'm going to say something stupid here because I don't really know what _to_ say. I never imagined that someone like you was even possible."

"Yet you have sat with me and treated me as I imagine you might treat the father of any girl you loved so deeply. You have managed not to stare – and to take my hand without fear."

"I just had to remind myself that you're the man who's been there for her, her entire life – she loves you – you're her father. The rest doesn't really matter."

"We both know that is not quite true."

"Maybe – not. In the dark – it was like I was in Caroline's dream with her and – she looked – like you. And now I get what she meant when she said she was afraid for me to see her the way she really is – because – she's like you, even if she doesn't quite look it. She's different. That scares her – she thought I'd – reject her because of it. I don't."

"It is the same fear I have always had, being rejected because I am so different from everyone else – even here, surrounded by people who love me, I know that the outside world would never accept me. They would fear me, lock me away. Each time we bring a new person into our confidence that is one of the risks we must take, Simon."

"I can appreciate that." Simon gazed up at Vincent again, taking in the details… the soft gold fur – the nose – the blue eyes. "You don't have any idea how – I mean – Care said you were just found in the snow?"

"We have always assumed that I was abandoned for the obvious reasons."

"It still seems wrong somehow – I mean, to just dump a baby like that."

"If my mother had not 'dumped' me, I could have ended up in a far worse place."

"You mean like a lab or something."

Vincent nodded.

"Yeah – I guess that would be worse."

"Here, I was loved – and wanted. I was taught to read and write and speak, just as any child might have been taught – but I was always different."

"Not where it counts," Simon ventured.

Vincent smiled, "No. Not where it counts."

"So – what is this – darkness? Jake went through something like it, right?"

"Yes – but it was much more mild. Peter Alcott believes that perhaps it is worse in Caroline because she is a girl, that perhaps it is hormone related."

"That means Claudia – and Jayne –"

"Yes. It is very likely that they will go through what Caroline has gone through. What she could go through again, Simon. There is much to consider – and a finite number of possibilities."

"She can't really leave New York – and – she could never see a doctor who didn't know about you, could she?"

"No, she could not. While physically I am much the same as you, my blood is not human, at a chemical level. We really do not know anything about where I come from or who my parents were. Loving my daughter is much more complicated than loving someone of a different faith – or even bringing home a Tenctonese woman – because at least they are a part of your society. They have a place. I do not. My children do not – my grand children will not."

"But you and Cathy did it."

"Through much hardship – our differences nearly tore us apart on numerous occasions."

"But ultimately it worked."

"Yes. Ultimately it worked." Through darkness and pain… the pain caused by the outside world and in a few instances the pain they caused each other… he and Simon sat in silence for a long while. "Would you care for a rematch?" Vincent finally queried.

"I suppose the worst that can happen is you beat me again."

Vincent chuckled softly.

Simon watched him set up the board – and finally found the courage to ask the only thing he really wanted to know, "Will you at least tell me straight up if you hate me and don't want me to see Caroline again?"

"I could not hate the man who brought my daughter back from the darkness – but I can question him. The path you're choosing isn't going to be easy – especially if you really are in this for that far off someday."

"Even before I met you, I figured that it was going to be hard. There's the age thing – and my family isn't real supportive. At all. But – when she broke up with me, I felt like – there was nothing left. When I thought I'd lost her in that dark place – I wanted to die with her."

"Nobel words," Vincent made his first move and watched while Simon considered more carefully this time.

"They aren't words," Simon told him after he'd moved his piece. "I mean it."

"There will always be difficulties – and limitations."

"I know. That's ok – because there's only one thing I couldn't live with."

"And that is?"

"Living without her."

Vincent was just about to beat him in a third game of chess when Catherine and Caroline returned…

"The hour is late," Vincent rose as they came in. "Perhaps – we will finish this game tomorrow."

Simon laughed, "Sure – ultimate humiliation can wait until after breakfast," he smiled over to Caroline – she looked very tired. But – none the worse for ware. Hopefully her mother hadn't asked her a hundred impossible questions…

"I'll walk you to your chamber," she said softly. "Good night, Father – Mother," she hugged each in turn.

"See you guys in the morning," Simon said – he exchanged a handshake with Vincent and kissed Cathy's cheek… they definitely weren't anything like any of the other parents he'd met…

"How'd it go?" Caroline asked when they were well out of her father's earshot.

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't hate me."

"My father hates very few people."

Simon put his arm around her shoulders, "Well – I think he at least takes us seriously. How about with you and your mother?"

"We talked about all kinds of stuff – most of it had nothing to do with you – I've been pretty hard to live with the last couple weeks."

"The whole darkness thing."

She nodded, "You know – I mean – there's no real guarantee it won't ever happen again."

"We'll just take it as it comes."

"I – wish I could have prepared you somehow."

"Care – there was no way to prepare me for all this. No way to prepare me for your father."

"What – do you really think? Of him – of everything?"

"I think – honestly?"

"Please."

Simon stopped and turned to face her. "I think that you have his eyes. Her nose – and jaw line," he traced the line of her jaw as he spoke – ran gentle fingers over her lips and through her hair, "Maybe his hair – and I think that when it's put all together, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met – and mostly that's because you have inside all the stuff they taught you. Warmth – a sense of humour – honesty – love. Courage. Those are the things I really fell in love with – not the eyes or the lips – although I love to kiss them," he touched his lips lightly to hers – drawing her in with his tongue – savouring the sweetness he found there… the fire that lay just below the surface… after many long pleasurable moments, Simon drew back before either of them could get too carried away – he was painfully aware of just how easy it would be to loose himself in her completely… "I fell in love with you. The you that lives inside," he touched her heart lightly. "And that means that I pretty much _have_ to like your folks."

"It doesn't mean they have to like you."

"No – but – I'm pretty sure your mother likes me – and I your father is ok."

She snickered – as far as Caroline knew, 'ok' wasn't a word that anyone had ever used to describe her father before…

**Epilogue:**

Simon made his way through the park at an almost leisurely pace – he was anxious to see Caroline, but it was hard not to enjoy the day. The hour was early – not even nine a.m. – and on a Sunday that meant he was sharing the path with only a hand full of joggers. Winter had finally released its icy grip on the city – green buds were sprouting on the black tree branches – and everywhere in window boxes and around the trees along the Square, tulips and daffodils were blooming. Although it had been a rainy spring, there had been many sunny days... life had gone back to what Simon was sure passed for normal, with Elliot out of his cast and undergoing some cosmetic surgery to lessen the evidence of having been shot – although for his part he hardly seemed to care. Simon was working two nights a week for Henry Pei, instead of the originally agreed upon four – he was in school, at NYU, and Henry wanted him to get good grades. Having Henry and Lin around was like having another set of parents – parents who expected him to ace his tests, learn Chinese, eat healthy and take care of himself. And their four daughters, ages ten, thirteen, fifteen and seventeen, had decided that he was the big brother they'd always wanted… so next Saturday he was taking fifteen year old Lula and her two best friends to the Puffy Ami Uni concert because her parents wouldn't let three teenaged girls go alone… it was almost like being back in Glen Oak…

Caroline had not returned to the prep school – instead, she was being 'home schooled' Below – where she was as much a teacher as a student. Not this year, but next, she was planning on joining Simon at NYU – as a pre-med student, an announcement which had been met with a great deal of pride from her grandfather… And some concern from Matt who kept warning Simon how difficult medicine was and how much of a strain med school had put on he and Sarah – and how hard it was for them to be in school at the same time… Simon was almost used to Matt worrying about his every move… because either Matt and Sarah had developed an unnatural taste for Chinese food or they were checking up on him because they came out to Henry and Lin's, every week and always on one of the nights when he was working…

Back in California, Ruthie had a new boyfriend – some guy named Alan – Martin was thinking about transferring to a college in Kentucky, where his father had just been transferred – and Mary's divorce had finally become final. No one really knew what was going to happen next… but that was typical. Right now, she and Carlos were trying to make joint custody work, with her in the air and his parents wanting him to move closer to them… And Simon's parents had just sent him a plane ticket – and a six hundred dollar check to 'help with summer expenses' – so over the Fourth of July holiday, he was going to go visit…

Simon smiled when he saw Caroline, waiting just outside the storm drain. Her hair was laying loose around her shoulders – just the way he liked it – and she wore a soft green sweater and long wool skirt. It had been a whole week since they'd seen one another – sometimes a week felt like an eternity…

"No chaperone this time?" Simon teased, greeting her with a warm kiss – the sweetness of her mouth never ceased to amaze him.

"Jake said he could probably trust us to walk as far as the stairs without an escort."

Simon laughed. It had been more of a joke than anything else – given her age – and his – Caroline's parents had insisted on a chaperone 'at all times' – or at least enough to make them feel like they were being watched. Usually it was Jake – but sometimes Jayne volunteered – after all, there wasn't much that could be done when you had an eight year old sitting between you… and she'd gone from disliking him to adoring him and wanting all of his attention in less than two month's time… "Do we have time to take a walk?"

"Up top?"

"Not far. I just want a few minutes with you – really alone."

"We're not exactly alone, Simon," she glanced in the direction of the joggers heading their way… she wasn't really dressed for being up top…

"Close enough," he kissed her again, then drew her towards one of the benches nestled amongst the trees.

"What is it?" Caroline asked.

"Guess I shouldn't try to put one over on you for any length of time – that's one thing I'm not sure I'll ever get used to." He pulled the small box out of his pocket.

Caroline stared at it for a moment, trying to decide what to say… it was a ring box… their one year anniversary was almost a month away… and… it was a ring box… "Simon – I –" she looked up at him – his expression was unreadable…other than she was sure he'd expected exactly this reaction out of her…

"Don't panic – just open it."

Taking a deep breath and trying to formulate all the reasons she couldn't possibly accept, Caroline opened the box… it was a sapphire ring. She blinked, started – she'd expected… and felt disappointment stab at her, even though she'd been trying to figure out how to refuse a diamond… but it was beautiful all the same, a square cut stone – just over a karat – set into a silver filigree band. "It's – lovely. What's the occasion?"

"Until – we're both a little older – and maybe a little more ready – I want you to know that I'm serious about you. About us."

All the fear has left me now  
I'm not frightened anymore  
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh  
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath

and if I shed a tear, I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
oh and if I feel a rage, I won't deny it  
I won't fear love

Companion to our demons  
They will dance and we will play  
With chairs, candles and clothes  
Making darkness in the day  
It will be easy to look in or out  
Upstream or down  
Without a thought

and if I shed a tear, I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
oh and if I feel a rage, I won't deny it  
I won't fear love

Peace in the struggle to find peace  
Comfort on the way to comfort

oh and if I shed a tear, I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
oh and if I feel a rage, I won't deny it  
I won't fear love  
I won't fear love  
No, I won't fear love

Sarah McLachlan

>

_even though I've officially wrapped up _Only Time_, I have already started the next chapter of Simon and Caroline's life… their story is **far** from over (and honestly, I'm having too much time working with them to truly end it here)…there are some threads I want to pick back up, particularly dealing with Anna Pater - and of course the Camdensand their feelings about Simon and Caroline...as well as Mary and Ruthie and the rest of their children... and inresponse to a request, I'll weave in some morestuff on the Tenctoneseinto the first few chapters of the as yet un titled sequel. And again, I think you for reading! _


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